Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Official Word on Jack
I've been more or less mentally preparing myself for the concept that my dad does not have a lot of time left here with us. But this kind of smacked me in the face, yesterday. Especially, the dredging up of my own past regrets of not being able to get to know my grandparents until they were very, very old (and a couple of them, much at all), and the knowledge that - in all likelihood - Rose will never remember the grandad with the twinkle in his eye. And Lucy is just going to remember this old man with chapped hands and tubes going into his nose that sat in a chair in the corner of the living room.
Tangentally...cause I don't want this to be nothing but a bummer of a post...
I just finished the documentary "49 Up," last night. And the timing couldn't have been more perfect. Checking in every seven years on about fifteen different lives, from the time they were seven until age 49. In the special features, the filmmaker (the same guy through all 42 years) spoke of these folks' collective transformations through the years, and how they all coalesced at a point when they were about 35 (me, being 37), when their parents (and lots of relatives and peers of their parents) started to die and they are first beginning to be faced with a sens of their own aging and mentality.
I'm looking forward to the peaceful acceptance they all got back to, by age 49.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
A Foreign Affair: Pass It Along
However, an article I just read, by Jonathan Freeman from The Guardian, struck such a powerful chord with me, I feel compelled to pass it along in hopes it will inspire others to consider the sentiment, and pass it along as well.
It very eloquently lays out the heart of an issue I find to be of great important, but about which I have seen very little discussion: that of the profound impact the selection of our next president will have, not just within our borders, but from without. In these days where we Americans - and indeed all Global Citizens, find ourselves at the brink on so many fronts - from (as is becoming increasingly apparent) our entertwined world economy; to the "War on Terror;" to arguably the most ominous issue of all, climate change; this election is, indeed, a referendum on America's collective sanity, cause for an optimistic future, and grasp on reality. The world is watching.
So, with no further ado:
A FOREIGN AFFAIR
Jonathan Freedland, "The Guardian"
If Sarah Palin defies the conventional wisdom that says elections are determined by the top of the ticket, and somehow wins this for McCain, what will be the reaction? Yes, blue - state America will go into mourning once again, feeling estranged in its own country. A generation of young Americans - who back Obama in big numbers - will turn cynical, concluding that politics doesn't work after all. And, most depressing, many African - Americans will decide that if even Barack Obama - with all his conspicuous gifts - could not win, then no black man can ever be elected president.
But what of the rest of the world? This is the reaction I fear most. For Obama has stirred an excitement around the globe unmatched by any American politician in living memory. Polling in Germany , France, Britain and Russia shows that Obama would win by whopping majorities, with the pattern repeated in Africa, Asia, the Middle East and Latin America . If November 4 were a global ballot, Obama would win it handsomely. If the free world could choose its leader, it would be Barack Obama.
The crowd of 200,000 that rallied to hear him in Berlin in July did so not only because of his charisma, but also because they know he, like the majority of the world's population, opposed the Iraq war. McCain supported it, peddling the lie that Saddam was linked to 9/11. Non - Americans sense that Obama will not ride roughshod over the international system but will treat alliances and global institutions seriously: McCain wants to bypass the United Nations in favour of a US - friendly League of Democracies. McCain might talk a good game on climate change, but a repeated floor chant at the Republican convention was "Drill, baby, drill!", as if the solution to global warming were not a radical rethink of the US's entire energy system but more offshore oil rigs.
If Americans choose McCain, they will be turning their back on the rest of the world, choosing to show us four more years of the Bush - Cheney finger. And I predict a deeply unpleasant shift.
Until now, anti - Americanism has been exaggerated and much
misunderstood: outside a leftist hardcore, it has mostly been anti - Bushism, opposition to this specific administration. But if McCain wins in November, that might well change. Suddenly Europeans and others will conclude that their dispute is with not only one ruling clique, but Americans themselves. For it will have been the American people, not the politicians, who will have passed up a once - in - a - generation chance for a fresh start - a fresh start the world is yearning for.
And the manner of that decision will matter, too. If it is deemed to have been about race - that Obama was rejected because of his colour - the world's verdict will be harsh. In that circumstance, Slate's Jacob Weisberg wrote recently, international opinion would conclude that "the United States had its day, but in the end couldn't put its own self - interest ahead of its crazy irrationality over race.
Even if it's not ethnic prejudice, but some other aspect of the culture wars, that proves decisive, the point still holds. For America to make a decision as grave as this one - while the planet boils and with the US fighting two wars - on the trivial basis that a hockey mom is likable and seems down to earth, would be to convey a lack of seriousness, a fleeing from reality, that does indeed suggest a nation in, to quote Weisberg, "historical decline". Let's not forget,McCain's campaign manager boasts that this election is "not about the issues."
Of course I know that even to mention Obama's support around the world is to hurt him. Incredibly, that large Berlin crowd damaged Obama at home, branding him the "candidate of Europe " and making him seem less of a patriotic American. But what does that say about today's America , that the world's esteem is now unwanted? If Americans reject Obama, they will be sending the clearest possible message to the rest of us - and, make no mistake, we shall hear it."
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Saint Rocky
Not so.
Over the course of the two months that we've had him, he's had fairly deep puncture wounds in each of his front two paws, costing (now) us upwards of $400 in assorted ver expenses (some of the expense came as a result of us having to board him during our vacation so they could administer daily meds). Two months - two wounds. Very similar. One in each paw.
Totally weird!
We were trying to figure out what's going on - weird, loose, sharp hardware or screws in the basement? Centipede bites? (we've got a doozy of a centipede living in the cracks of the foundation in the recording corner of the basement) What?
And then it hit me....STIGMATA.
Unfortunately, according to Sharon, the Catholic Church does not provide any sort of cash reward for manifesting the crucifixion wounds of Jesus. Something about the reward being "the edification of the spirit" or something.
Whatever.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Al Raton
Lucy lost her first tooth over the weekend. With it loose over the past couple of weeks, she’s been preparing for her first visit from a tooth fairy contemporary. We checked out a book about different losing-teeth traditions around the world, and she picked up one from Latin America where you put your tooth in a glass of water and a rat named El Ratón visits in the middle of the night, drinks the water, takes the tooth and leaves candy or money.
I’m pretty sure she thinks the rat’s name is Al Ratón, which makes him sound like a burly NYC sewer worker with plumber’s crack.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Bear Head, As I Recall It, Sitting Here Satisfied and Re-Charged: Part 5
Thursday, Oct. 1: Get Out of There!, Dan Gets His Walleye, and....My Friends....
Special "Webinar" Edition
Episode 1: Get Out of There!
Episode 2: Dan Gets His Walleye
Episode 3: ...My Friends...
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Bear Head, As I Recall It, Sitting Here, Satisfied and Re-Charged: Part 4
Wednesday, Oct. 1: Kick-Down Mode
One of the surest proofs that I simply do not belong in the workaday world is how seamlessly I slip into a comfort zone during extended times away from work. Not only am I disengaged from what is going on back in the office, I believe my brain would short-circuit, were I to try to listen in on messages from afar. So, on the third full day of the North Woods adventure, I was wholly and truly taking it all in and content in going with the flow.
Weather reports from the International Wolf Center had suggested a progressively drier forecast for the remainder of the week; and our loose plan was to have a leisurely breakfast at camp, then head out for a family hike & picnic around the piney hill-surrounded trout lake, Lake Norberg; around which Sharon had scouted during her trail run two days prior.
When we got out there, things had truly dried out enough that we were able to enjoy alternating
skies of fast-moving stratocumulus clouds with with brilliant streaks of fall sun. A short, vertical hike brought us to, perhaps, the visual feast of the trip. It was simply spectacular, as this striking and ever-changing light display I described played amidst the tree color (which was hitting peak) and innumerable ripples on the pristine lake. We spent some time there while the kids (much more concerned with the world on a macro level) noticed minnows in the water and a young water spider trying in vain to make a lunch from them.

We then hiked around two directions of the lake from our starting point, getting mulitple perspectives almost all the while keeping within sight of Norberg; and at some point during which we ate a big ol' lunch.
Afternoon included another trail run by Sharon, I think, as well as another failed fishing attempt by me. My second solo foray to the lake was not so buffoonish, and a little more satisfying. Truly, my expectations for a catch were different (non-existent?); but I was there to appreciate the solitude which - of course - can be a bit hard to come by with the girls in tow. For the rest of the afternoon, it kept truly looking like the skies were going to clear out for good on this, the final day of our stay. The last remnants of clouds would disappear to the southeast, opening up a brilliant, completely blue sky...only to have a rolling mass of gray and white utterly obscuring the sky, not more than 20 minutes later. While I concede that I'm usually not in a position to follow such things as completely; I'm not sure I've ever seen such an odd, alternating (and, yes, tantalizing) display of rain-heavy cloud cover and blue skies as I did over the final two days of our stay. Most of the pictures we brought back were taken in sunlight. You'd never know.
Anyway - homemade pita pizza for supper (yum! though the portions could have been bigger for a hungry woodsman like myself) and Raspberry Crumble for desert. Yes. THAT raspberry crumble. The same package we bought for Escalante, three years ago; and that I was conned into paying for upon our return. Well, the laugh is on you, my friends: it was delicious.
By the very end of supper - of course - it was beginning to look like skies were clearing up, finally, for good. Sharon & I made a discreet plan to meet back out by the smouldering firepit after the girls were asleep for our first opportunity at stargazing in the entire vacation. I'd actually found a 70x telescope & tripod at a thrift store recently, and we'd brought it along with - thus far - absolutely no chance to use it.So...girls to bed and, after a little bit, they fell asleep. Sharon & I snuck outside and sat next to the fire, which we stoked with a couple of new logs. How nice! Looking up at the sky, we saw stars, but...curiously, they weren't as brilliant as we were expecting. Then less brilliant. Then hardly visible. Ah, cloud cover was obviously moving in. Final proof of this was when the first few drops of rain (you're effing kidding me!) began to come down on us. Moments later, it was a steady rain and we were back in the cabin, nestled snugly in our bunks.
This last photo is kind of as an addendum, and I actually took it with special permission from Lucy. She'd had a really rough little patch of time, and was still quite upset, but just beginning to calm down and come into herself again.
I noticed this really tender moment when her little sister was doing her best to offer her comfort, and I asked Lucy if she minded if I took a picture. Amazingly, she did not. And now I share it with you.
It's awesome - they really seem to have a pretty special relationship.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Bear Head, As I Recall It, Sitting Here, Satisfied and Re-Charged: Part 3
So, we woke up to another day of threatening, misty, cloudy skies (with odd, brief moments of tantalizing sun - a theme which would continue throughout our stay); and fixed some breakfast - which varied from tasty brown sugar & cinnamon oatmeal to homemade granola throughout the week. I will take this opportunity to mention that Sharon really outdid herself in the menu planning & cooking. We ate like royalty, with varied & hearty meals.
We wrapped things up at about 20 minutes till noon, and headed off for the IWC (which really must have purchased the rights to their URL early in the game. We had a great time at the exhibit, though it was another stark, stark difference between the notion of a trip just consisting of Sharon and me (we once spent two and a half hours just looking at and reading "history of Minnesota logging" exhibits in Grand Rapids - a luxury which would now be unimaginable). We did a lot of kid-friendly exhibits (can you mimic different wolf vocalizations, and climb into a plaster wolf den?), and kind of whizzed through the more text-based and substantive parts. Then, a picnic outside and a pose with the IWC's famous pack of bronze wolves out front, then back to Bear Head.
Scooby pole and try my own hand at some Grown-Up Big Game Fishing. I trespsed down to the lake with two tackle boxes in tow, as well as my rod (heh heh); and it was very evident I had not fished in the past five years. A comedy of errors, in fact. With a strategy of "working the weeds," (and on only my second cast) I hooked my favorite silver "weedless" spoon on a log that was just a little far our for me to wade to, and lost it as a result. I took it as a sign from God that I should put an enormous honking lure on and cast out to middle of the lake. I was so unprepared. It occurred to me that, were I to have hooked a northern or a walleye, they could have bit right through my measly 6 lb test line - as I did not have a metal leader at the end. So, I tied right to the lure - a big, snakeskin-ey red & gold spoon that was at least four or five inches long. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. Was the lure the right type of lure for the fish in the lake? WHAT fish were in the lake? Was the color of the lure the right type for these weather conditions and at this time of day? It occurred to me I could have researched at least some of this in the days prior to the trip.Monday, October 06, 2008
Bear Head, As I Recall It, Sitting Here, Satisfied and Re-Charged: Part 2
Duh. It didn't strike me (this is amazing, really), the difference between Sharon & me renting a canoe; and Sharon, Lucy, Rose, and me renting a canoe. Not until we were sitting there in the visitor's center, trying to decide whether we would rent for a four-hour half-day or a full day. Suddenly - duh - we'll be lucky if we can be out there fifteen minutes before we have a meltdown or - God forbid, a tipping of the canoe. Are we actually going to keep these two kids seated, and in one place (the middle of the canoe), while trying to maneuver around a 700-acre lake on a somewhat windy, misty day?
Smaller, to be sure, but clean and utterly mouse-proof. Thank God it was a cozy little enclave, since we retreated to it many times during our stay, as an escape from the near constant threatening or actively watery skies and somewhat chilly temps.
weather let us enough for us to get a fire going outside for s'mores, and we opened the fixins to find that we were dealing with The Worst Bag of Marshmallows in the History of Mankind. They had somehow become discombobulated and glued to one another and the interior of the bag. The only way to get at them was to slice the bag down the side, and the only way to get marshmallow out was to tear a piece away from the main hulk. And even then, they were so gooey and sticky, your fingers hands would later require excessive scrubbing to get the 'mallow off. More of it remained on your hands than you could actually mold and form around the end of your toasting stick. Unbelievable, really.Sunday, October 05, 2008
Bear Head, As I Recall It, Sitting Here, Satisfied and Re-Charged: Part 1
It should be noted that iron mining is not "your father's open pit mining." While digging gigantic holes in the ground where there used to be forests can never be considered, how do you say, "good for nature," you can see, in the years after a mining operation closes up shop in a particular area, that the result appears almost more like "terraforming" than "doing a Borg." Iron mining is a relatively clean operation, as the iron - in it's pre-milling state is a relatively soft metal, and close to the surface. And it is not poisonous. Case in point: there are actually game fish stocked in the Mineview in the Sky former pit. Dare I say, the I found the site rather breathtaking.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Ivey!!!!!
The rest of my company went to the award ceremony last night whilst I stayed home with my kids. Apparently, they announced our name and our show and it was an utter surprise to everyone. The award was for our most recent show, last spring, "'night, Mother;" and it was one of only two awards for "overall excellence" (out of one hundred and some odd theatres producing hundreds and hundreds of plays).
Apparently, Workhouse's name was read off, and our artistic director went up & gave a worldbeater speech - like, in front of the folks at the Guthrie, and Ordway Center, and de la Jeune, and Jungle Theatre, and Mixed Blood, and Brave New Workshop, and Penumbra, and Children's Theatre, etc. etc. etc. The rest of the company were holding the award in their hands backstage as they gave me a call.
This is seriously friggin' huge.
article in Star Tribune, here. (Particularly funny, since they mention 4 of the 5 companies winning awards have performance budgets under $150,000. Yeah, like about $6,000.)
article in Pioneer Press, here.
Wow.
Ruminating on the So-Called "Career"
I've sometimes wondered about the job security of some of those weird pseudo-careers, the kind which are rampant at my place of work. They're constantly developing new, specialized teams to work on new initiatives - you'll get an email that such-and-such was just "promoted to the position of "SVP Customer Creation" or "Executive Director of 'Sharing Memories'" WTF?
What happens when that initiative dries up and your job no longer exists? What's out there for you with a silly resume like that? I suppose, folks in that sort of world just have an instinctual ability glom on to whatever the next hot thing is. But I couldn't live like that.
And I wonder how much longer it is for the world.
In these times where, suddenly, so much in Wall Street and the financial world is beginning to become exposed for the charade it actually is; and we may be facing a world where we return to the nuts and bolts of what it actually takes to make the world go round - I wonder what the future holds for those folks whose expertise is in - really - nothing?
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
And There You Go...
Here we go, boys. Contribute just a little more - do some kind of volunteering, something. Let's help Obama put his foot down on the McCain campaign's throat and finish this thing off.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Suddenly, Feeling Better About the Whole Thing
The magic is wearing off.
People (enough people) are coming to their senses, as reality sets in.
She's beginning to embarass herself, and the McCain candidacy.
Even those who question Barack Obama's experience take him seriously; and in that regard, there is no comparison between the two of them.
McCain bet the house. Much like Kirk in The Galileo 7, he burned the rest of his rocket fuel to create a solar flare in hopes of getting noticed. He did, but now the orbit is beginning to decay.
Until the Palin selection and the Republican National Convention, I could still defend him somewhat, on some level. But no more. Oh, no more.
(McCain tangent)
Running an ad accusing Obama of teaching sex ed to Kindergarteners because he supported a bill to teach kindergarteners about inappropriate touching? You fuck. You fucking fuck. So - to be clear - the Republican Party is now the pro-molesting kids party. I mean, officially.
He has, in fact, NO HONOR. It has gone the way of his shame.
(back to Palin)
She scared the hell out of me; I'll admit it. But no more. Seven more weeks is a long time for her to avoid interviews and for not one of these percolating scandals and/or beyond-the-pales to catch fire.
Bill Clinton was right. Obama is about to take this fucker to the house.
Then, she will be a supremely confident, yet intellectually incurious, evangelical supermodel footnote in history.
Good fucking riddance, you awful, awful thing.
Friday, September 12, 2008
100
From your whole life, from all you've ever done, felt or thought...what is the one thing you treasure most? Imagine that you must choose one single memory from your life - everything else will be erased forever. That choosing this memory is your only way of passing through to eternity. That you have one hour to choose. Choose now. Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I Shit You Not
Want...Pizza...Much
That's my girl!!!!
Thursday, September 04, 2008
I Don't Get It
The hipocrisy of the last two nights of the Republican National Convention has been incredible. Running on a message of "shaking up Washington" not one speaker has offered up anything that strays from the Bush administration's policies of the past eight years. Surely, any swing voters watching would see this, right? I'm not sure I can trust in much of anything, with respect to how "the average American sees things." Strange days, indeed.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Big Girl
Nevertheless, she will be forging ahead into more advanced skillsets and subjects of interest, and entering that world in which she is held accountable by the educational system.
It will be a little hard for Sharon, who has spent the last number of years with a certain portion of each day, or each week, with a little creature in whom the bright flame of childhood imagination, industry, and inquisitiveness burns hot. Their times together were usually good, sometimes bad, but ultimately precious and irretrievable.
And hard, too, for little Rose, who is losing a constant companion she worships. She has a big, loving sister sister and follows her lead in almost all instances. At the risk of sounding melodramatic while paraphrasing Sam from Lord of the Rings, Lucy is going where she can't follow. For another year, anyway.
As for me, I am celebrating the 15th annual "I Don't Have to Go to School" Day.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Skin-Deep
Anyway, This is a quick post, so I don't enter very many instances as evidence, other than what we can witness from the last two campaigns against Barack Obama.
In 2004, there was Alan Keyes.
And now, Sarah Palin.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Five-Star Book: Tale of Two Cities
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles DickensMy review
rating: 5 of 5 stars
Great, great, and great. For me, reading this book by choice and at my leisure was almost some sort of repentance for having watched a "Tale of Two Cities" cartoon in high school, rather than read it as assigned.
If there is any criticism of this book (as I'm sure there is), it would be a criticism that could be levied at most Dickens works; that many of his heroes are two virtuous and pure, and villains too treacherous. That said, Dickens masterfully uses the backdrop of the French Revolution to shift readers' sympathies from one side to the other over the course of the book; making a statement about perspective and shades of grey in any seemingly cut and dry political/historical event. In doing this, he does manage to add a layer of depth to many of the characters that start out somewhat caricaturish; and along the way, the development of the enigmatic Sidney Carton becomes quite compelling/
On top this profoundly historic setting - the real treat for me was to enjoy Dickens characteristic wry humor and skewering of the foibles of the human condition; in particular, mob mentality. Word by word, line by line, as I made my way through this book, I became more and more spellbound. I was in the hands of a master.
View all my reviews.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Saying What Really Needs to Be Said, Here.
Now - before any Hillary Haters decide to jump in a pile on and find some sort of kindred discussion, take a breath. Let me be very clear: this is not about Hillary at all. This is about those folks that can't get over it.
All along, I’ve always said that people who are opposed to Hillary Clinton tend to oppose her in a very rabid, irrational way that, really, defies logic. And I’ve generally defended her along those lines. But I’m finally going use that same descriptor about her supporters. Those people really, really think that this was our one chance to get a woman in the White House. Or that her experience so uniquely qualifies her for the presidency. Or that Barack Obama ran such an unbelievably dirty campaign. So much so that they’re willing to vote to continue policies of war, appoint Supreme Court justices to overturn Roe vs. Wade, extend Bush tax cuts, etc. etc. etc. Bascially, flush down the toilet everything that Hillary Clinton ostensibly stands for stands for in what is probably the most defining presidential election of our times, to make a point. Are they really that detached from reality? Is the world really no larger than their own hurt feelings? This is why Republicans call Democrats angry, whiners, and "victims." Your candidate didn't win. Pick yourself up off the matt and do what you can do to make this country better, for the sake of children in poverty, a groaning natural world, and huge, suffering continents; for God's sake don't put a Republican back in the White House.
My God. I mean, really.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
My Dad: 1952
My dad was 23 years old here, stationed at Fort Benning, GA; having been drafted for the Korean War. Little was he to know, at that time, that he would follow this success with three more kids, go into a career of education, and live well over forty of his years on Earth in Waterloo, IA. Additionally, if he knew just a few more things then that he knows now, he might not picked up smoking during his time in the service - but who know s. What I do know as I look at him looking down at his new, beautiful, two-month daughter in this photo, is that he is thinking"life is good." What I can really appreciate now, as a father of two of my own girls, is what is going on in his mind. 56 years later, spanning our respective, disparate histories and vastly different worldviews, I can see his smile and loving gaze and say, "Oh yeah, I know that look, dad! High-five!"Friday, August 22, 2008
Rocky at Three Weeks
- He thinks he's a dog. Unlike any cat I've ever known, he will flop over on his side so you can rub his belly. He follows you everywhere. And - in a subtle but very dog-like indicator - he has no fear. If his butt is in the way of the fridge when you start to open it, he won't move. The end effect is the fridge door slowly pushing him along until it slides him out of the way.
- He has a water fetish. He drinks water out of dirty pans that have water in them to soak. He places one paw in his water dish while he drinks. And, like many pets, he'd drink out of the toilet if it was left open. Worse, this sicko will try to drink out of the toilet while you pee. As the sole male human in my household, this is a particularly awkward occurrence indeed, and requires me to remember to shut the bathroom door even when stumbling downstairs for some 2:00 am bladder reflief.
- He is amazingly tolerant, and calm. This may be akin to #1 (he thinks he's a dog). But he see Rose shambling towards him, squealing in delight, and does not flee. Girls pet him and drape over him while he eats and drinks. He relaxes luxuriously in the middle of the floor while people fly in and out of rooms, over him, and/or if carrying large objects. Basically, all kinds of behavior that would have send the late Saraki into a case of the hives.
- Not a lap cat, yet. This may change. Maybe through the passage of time, or maybe just when the weather gets colder. But for now, he'll seek your company, and do the ol' walk in & out of the legs & so on, but he won't clip up and hang out ON you.
All in all (water fetish notwithstanding), ours has been a happier, more interesting household for the past three weeks.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Announcing My Retirement
Additionally, it has been difficult for me to find the time I feel I need in order to be the father I'd like to be for my kids; the husband I'd like to be for my wife. And I have a number of pursuits in which I have a long-standing interest; but for which I've never been able to dedicate much time.
And so, it is with mixed feelings that I announce my retirement. I will regret the fast pace, the comraderie involved with being a member of a team, and the exciting potential for growth - both for me as an employee, and for growth of the various businesses that have employed me - that I was able to be a part of, day in and day out. But I am definitely excited to turn the page and enter this next phase of my life.
Thank you.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
P-QN4
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
That Rare "10": Brief Encounter
Another month, another idea for chronicling my movie-watching endeavors.Sunday, August 03, 2008
Welcome to the Family

Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My Dad
There's another picture of him right after he was drafted and my sister was born (1952). It's amazing to look at him holding his precious daughter in his arms and looking down into her face with an expression I, now as a father, can understand. I don't seem to have a copy here, but I'll see if I can locate & post at some point in the future.Monday, July 28, 2008
Goodbye, Old Friend


I went down this past weekend to do the big move for my parents. In a nuts & bolts sense, things went extremely well. Everything got moved in a single day, and everything pretty much seems to fit in the (much smaller) new place. ALSO - and this is actually a very big thing - this "moving my parents along to their next stage of life" has seemed to really bring out the best in my brother & sister's families. From willingness to pitch in and do whatever to an absolute absence of any bickering over "who gets what" as my parents downsize, there was been very little intra-family stress in these past couple of months
But other than that - it was a pretty emotionally draining weekend. I went down by myself; partly because my kids would have just been in the way of the work; but partly also because I had a lot to process, both on the way down and on the way back up. Though the choice to move was fairly proactive on my mom & dad's part (on their proverbial "own terms"), it was not a celebratory event. Nobody is under any illusions. They are simply too old to keep up with the rigors of maintaining a large house and yard, and my dad is far too unhealthy to live in a house with more than one level.
It was a very painful scene for me to witness - my dad, this once vital, powerful man who moved into a house in Waterloo, IA with his two kids in 1967, at age 37 (my age, coincidentally); now ancient and withered appearing, with tubes up his nose, sitting on a lawn chair in the garage watching his offspring carry the accumulations of his past 41 years past him and onto a moving van; too helpless to even assist. We stayed busy enough through the day, though, that there was not a ton of time to dwell on anything, and various interactions the rest of that day and evening prevented me from dwelling on the psychology of the whole weekend.
It was the next morning, when I made my long-planned "last visit" to the old place, all alone, when I was consumed by memory. Undoubtedly, the circumstances of my parent's leaving played into my feelings, but my parents aside, it was a sad enough parting just between me and the house. As I moved room to room, I was frequently overcome, remembering (burning memories, actually) past times; particularly those ones from my young childhood - those times when we all had a moment-to-moment, almost meditative absorbsion of our surroundings: tracing a path between the bumps of spackle on the walls, interpreting the patterns on a tile floor, the rough grating feel of that part of the carpet you can only reach by tunneling your finger in between the individual pieces of pile ,the distinct smell that only comes from smashing one's nostrils right up to a heating vent and inhaling completely. The minuteae of your immediate environment which, at that time in your life, is pretty much just the house you live in. All this came back to me in wave after wave of intense recollection, and I worked to get my head around two of the greatest pieces of evidence I've ever experienced, supporting the notion that I simply don't live in a protected, ageless bubble. The truest "home" I've ever known, gone; and my dad's mortality. Father Time marches on, and he is wearing Vasque Sundowners.
I spent a while in the old house. I may have even spent the time I needed there. At the end, I bid tear-stained farewell, and was off.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
We Want MORE 44!!!

Friday, July 11, 2008
Not a Cop-Out: My Next 10 in Netflix
Just returned:
Dragon Lives Again / Star of Stars
So, I did end up seeing this. I can say more at another time but -let me simply say: there's a reason this movie is not found under the heading "classics."
1. Seven Samurai
Japanese director Kurusawa's masterpiece inspiration for "The Magnificent Seven." I'm surprised I haven't seen this already, actually. But it certainly seems to be in that "must see" category for a guy like me. So here it is.
2. MST3K: The Giant Spider Invasion
I have sprinkled MST3K episodes (ones that are rated by others at 4.5+ stars) throughout my queue, at the rate of about one out of every 10. Here comes another. And I can't wait.
2.My Son the Fanatic
Indie film (comedy, I think) about a Pakistani living in England who turns to Islamic Fundamentalim as a result of stresses in his own life. Just seemed pretty interesting, the write-up I read. Seems like it would be fun to read & compare how someone with similar stresses as me handles it very differently in the context of another culture.
3. Me Myself I
Fairly recent film taking on the "what would my life have turned out like, had I made a different choice?," a subject with which I have endless fascination.
4. Kung Fu Hustle
Crazy, comedic, madcap martial arts movie. Seems like it should have Jackie Chan in it, but it doesn't. This was recommended by Mixdorf, if I'm not mistaken.
5. Of Mice And Men
Hmm. I'm not excited about this movie, at the moment. Retelling of tale by (Steinbeck?) that came out in the early 90s. I remember the movie's heyday being when I was renting movies out back at Title Wave, and people I aspired to be seemed to be the ones renting it. Here's that obligation I've never been able to shake coming to pass, I guess.
6. 49 Up
Amazing documentary undertaking as filmmaker interviewed a group of seven year olds in 1964, then again 42 years later. It's been sitting in my list of "Watch Now" possibilities for some time, with me passing over it again and again. But only when it arrives on my doorstep, will the watching truly be inevitable.
7. The Squid and the Whale
One of Jeff Daniels' quasi-indie endeavors, which bodes well. I'd forgotten anything about it - I have no idea why (only because of the marine-related title?), I was confusing it with that Bill Murray movie, Life Aquatic. I guess this one has to do with relationships.
8. Oldboy
Kind of wild movie, the summary of which I just must have stumbled across, about a guy who was drugged, imprisoned, and tortured for 15 years by he knows not who. He then decides to exact revenge (but, again, on he knows not who). The summary seems to indicate some sort of mind-blowing finale. Overall, a departure for me. But I'm game.
9. Mysterious Skin
Indie flick about the relationship between two weirdo friends not all that promising of a premise, but Netflix seems to think I'll give it a 4.1, even though the average rater has given it a 3.5. Those are some pretty good odds.
10. The Conformist
1970s Italian action adventure. Seems like I've heard good things about it, but I cannot recall at this date.
One Stress Off the Plate
Also - also - apparently, in a checkup yesterday, my dad was told that the oxygen has been doing wonders for him. When he went in originally, they (the medical staff) say his face was beet red from his lungs having not been able to process enough oxygen., and that the differece is night and day.
yay - on those two things, and here's two a couple of stresses, at least, that won't be hanging over my head in the immediate future.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
A Soul-Baring Post, Like in the Old Days
Things are rough here. Work really, really getting me down, as is the situation in Waterloo with my dad's health and my parents' impending move (though it’s hard for me to know how much each factor is contributing) I’ve been depressed in the last few weeks. Had to send a note to my theatre group telling them I need to pull back for awhile. I’m completely overloaded at work – pursued with shit as I stumble out of the door each night and have no energy to be the father I want to be. And Rose & Lucy are having trouble going down for the night, so I’m finding that my day begins at 6:30 (when I leave home) and doesn’t slow down till 9:30 or 10:00, though I'm moving like a broken shell of a man during the hours when I'm not in at work. The stress seems to be building by the day. I was so blasted and incapable of function at home last night I told Sharon I felt like I needed to be institutionalized. Not true, probably, but I felt like it.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Trying GoodReads HTML Cut & Paste Review Function
Genghis Khan: Emperor of All Men by Harold LambMy review
rating: 3 of 5 stars
The first of a number of books passed on to me from my grandmother's collection, this was a generally informative, though a tad sympathetic, chronicling of the rise of young chieftan-son Temujin of the Gobi Desert into a merciless supreme emperor and arguably the most successful military commander of all time. The author has managed to compile a surprisingly complete account of events from a culture largely without a written history. Indeed, a majority of the historical accounts of his battles are from the records of the defeated; somewhat remarkable as when the Mongol Horde ovverran your civilization, they tended to put an end to everything.
View all my reviews.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
More Waterloo News, of a Different Sort
One, my dad's health is poor. He's had some type of blood/oxygen thing going on for some time that they've actually had some trouble pinpointing; but his lungs have been quite stressed, and he's not able to catch his breath after even some pretty low key activity. They've finally got him on oxygen 24 hours a day (like, a machine with a tether and a tank and the whole nine yards). I'm not sure where all this is headed, but I don't have a very good feeling about it. You guys have known him personally, to various extents, throughout the years - so, keep him in your thoughts, as you are able.
Two, my parents' house just sold. I'm wondering if the fact they were high & dry through the recent flooding made their neighborhood suddenly seem like a very desireable location or what, but there it is. Mind-blowing, as again - this is the only house I have ever known them in. They still haven't landed on the apartment or condo to which they'll be moving, but that'll be figured out sooner as opposed to later, one would think.
Friday, June 13, 2008
The Incredible Shrinking Newspaper
Obviously, this is good in an environmental/paper waste sense, but other than that – I find the struggles of news organizations to thrive in the world of “new media” one of the great, ominous issues of our age; and one that – due to the lack of a true political motivation one way or the other –one that no one (other than journalists themselves) really gives that much thought to.Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Carried Away, As Usual
http://media.putfile.com/Poliopolis-Bump-Music
Friday, May 16, 2008
Hello, Old Friend!
I will say, "Go away, I do not want any well-wishers, or distant relations."
And he will reply "And how about very old friends?"
and...well, you get the picture.
Actually, I'll be meeting him at the airport. And though the Hilron house in a bit of disarray and maybe with hot water running in only one of four taps (with the one not being the shower), I will receive him and we will have an amazing joyride, nonetheless.
Full report down the line, no doubt.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I Will Not Die Tonight
"Borrowed Time"
by David Moreau from Sex, Death and Baseball
© Moon Pie Press, 2004
I will not die tonight
I will lie in bed with
my wife beside me,
curled on the right
like an animal burrowing.
I will fit myself against her
and we will keep each other warm.
I will not die tonight.
My son who is seven
will not slide beneath the ice
like the boy on the news.
The divers will not have to look
for him in cold water.
He will call, "Daddy, can I get up now?"
in the morning.
I will not die tonight.
I will balance the checkbook,
wash up the dishes
and sit in front of the TV
drinking one beer.
For the moment I hold a winning ticket.
It's my turn to buy cold cuts
at the grocery store.
I fill my basket carefully.
For like the rain that comes now
to the roof and slides down the gutter
I am headed to the earth.
And like the others, all the lost
and all the lovers, I will follow
an old path not marked on any map.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
I'm Actually Not Kidding Here (Well, All That Much, Really)
And again, my views on a matter will place me in the category of "fringe element."
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 09, 2008
Ouch
The bad:
- Pretty much every time I tried to drive, I got stuffed. I just had no spring in my step - it was like I knew what I wanted to do, but my body couldn't do it.
- I missed everything in sight. I remember (in the olden days!) being pretty much dependable from just inside the three point line on in. I had a stretch this morning where I am positive I missed more than 10 in a row.
The good:
- When I was not driving, I seemed to be able to get any open look I wanted. That may have had something to do with them not thinking I was worth covering (see the missing, above), but people usually aren't as focused in on your bad day as you are yourself, so I don't know if they were familiar with me enough to make that sort of judgement.
I also got totally gassed. I can go out and run four miles without thinking twice, but Mixx is right - this is a toally different sort of exercise. And all those baskets (actually, not all that many baskets) I've been shooting in the back yard over the past seven years don't do a whole lot to prepare you for a full-court game of four on four.
I really do think a lot of it has to do with re-familiarizing myself with the game - and my limitations. And I do think/hope that whole "getting my b-ball legs under me" thing plays a part, too. I probably won't ever be able to do what I used to, in terms of driving the lane. But I can pick my spots, start hitting shots, and distribute the ball.
We'll see if I can have a better outing next week.Thursday, May 08, 2008
The Full Monty and Back into the Fray
In other news, I tracked down the old wake-up basketball league I last played in 10 years ago and asked them if they'd have need for an occasional sub. Things worked out much better than I'd hoped, as they put me in the "draft" for the summer league. My first game is tomorrow morning, 6 a.m. sharp. I remember how creaky and non-limber I felt playing at that hour when I was 29. I can only imagine what it's going to feel like tomorrow morning.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Relax, He Doesn't Care!
And so, yet another long-overdue item of home improvement (old hot water pipes were just about rusted through) out of the way; but also yet another non-visible item of home improvement out of the way.
It's a bit of a thorn in my craw that of the thousands and thousands of dollars I've dumped into making my house more up-to-code, energy efficient, and generally livable; we have yet to do any aesthetic improvements to our house since painting Lucy & Rose's room about six years ago. Perhaps we're employing some of the same wisdom that put us in that class of folks who did not take out a aubprime mortage; but it would be nice, for once, to be one of those people that have a newly remodeled kitchen or bathroom to enjoy. As it is, we're living in the same old shithole. But a shithole that's got it where it counts. Ala the Millenium Falcon.
Sharon & I are also in the process of taking on a major feng shui-driven cltuter clearing that's made us evaluate all that we have assumed or held dear about not giving/throwing away for the past 10 years (more on that in a later post), and - as we sit in the midst of this endeavor (don't forget - every household endeavor with two kids under the age of five moves at a glacial pace), the aesthetic condition of our home seems all the more hopeless.
I've actually started getting a bit stressed, with a visit from Mixdorf on the near horizon. I wish the patio was done! I wish we'd just slapped a coat of paint in the hall! I wish we had our new steel roof! (look for that in summer 2009) Etc, etc.
I think I just need to chill out. I'm long past the point of being judged by close friends (e.g. the judgements are long since rendered). Quality times are made by company kept and ephemeral happenings; not by showing off a cork-floor kitchen. I just need to make sure potential hazards are out of the way and rest up for some potential late-night skullduggery. About the appearance of my property? Relax, he doesn't care.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
For Joy (sort of)
A buttload of stresses, ranging from our hot water currently being in & out of service to an external source of stress I will undoubtedly be blogging about in the next few days, to some odds & ends around some customer service-related nagging issues we're trying to resolve - but probably mostly related to my chronic condition of being underslept, led to be being near the flipping point last night. Sharon suggested I take a day off.
A call into work this morning, and I was free. As of 11:48 am, I've already biked to Steamworks for a waffle, coffee, and read of the morning paper; and then down to the Theodore Wirth mountain bike trails for a trail run and then bike home. It would have been pure "for joy," but for me rolling my ankle twice; the first one just a tweak, and the second one somewhat more severe. I had to walk it off for about five minutes, then gingerly run/limp back to my bike.
I'm getting around OK now, and I think I'm going to be spending the rest of the day attending to some household maintainence things at a leisurely pace.
Peace out.









