Towards the end of 2010, Sharon & I started attending couples counseling sessions.
We've always known we had a good thing going. Sharon & I align almost identically along political and world views, and are of similar mind on issues ranging from appreciation of early 20th Century film noir to child-rearing philosophy. But when we have differences - we don't confront them head on; we bury them. We also have dealt with ongoing issues related to intimacy which, without revealing the innards of an issue which is far too complex to get into in this forum, I will simply say finally came to a point of being (that word again) stuck. Stuck at a point where we needed some sort of outside intervention.
I credit Sharon as being the one who finally arranged for our counselor. I cannot emphasize the significance of this highly enough. It was a great affirmation for me, who was (as later came to the surface in our sessions) feeling increasingly shut out of Sharon's personal struggles. An affirmation that our relationship was a priority that needed to be dealt with a similar degree of priority, and that everything was connected. A lot of great things have been put in motion as a result of our sessions. We both enter the process, it seems, willing to accept responsibility for how we have, to paraphrase Sting, laid assorted mines throughout our past among which we now walk.
A little prior to us going into the couples sessions, Sharon hooked up with a new psychologist, who I will call "B." And in taking great care to respect as least some degree of privacy regarding their work together, I will say that Sharon is being "pushed" into uncomfortable, but (I believe) necessary territory in a way I have never seen in her history of therapy. And not only that, but I have been invited into "the process" for the first time ever. I was even invited in to a session, so psychologist, client, and spouse could all get on the same page. "B" also wants to keep tabs on where we are at in our couples' therapy and even aspects of Sharon's "woo woo" work. The plan is to get all aspects working in concert, and to make sure we're keeping things moving forward, with homework & concrete achievable goals, however modest. And don't start grasping when things get desperate. Stay in the moment. It's very Jedi-like.
In the time since my last post, Sharon actually went through another rough patch. This is not a quick fix, here. But I feel like the foundation is there - that she (we) have a stable base to descend to when the tower gets tippy.
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