lcd

Ah-the concept of marketing to the least common denominator. Simply trying to buy some pjs for my three year old daughter, I find an ridiculous and narrow array of stereotypical options for girls: only fairy princesses, butterflies, and flowers. Literally only princesses, butterflies, and flowers. And for boys? Trucks and basketballs. It is mind-blowing, in this modern world of supposed equality. People who would be outraged and offended by any verbal suggestion or implication that girls are a dainty, fragile gender think nothing of clothing their young children in this insulting attire.

In addition to the general annoyance of it all, is this feeling that the thing is a sort of the culmination of numerous cultural sore points for me:

• Constant merging of retailers and brands, resulting in fewer consumer choices.
• The war on intellectualism: "We've merchandised out the need for imagination! And the need for your child to try and figure out on their own what their place is in the world!"
• Pervasiveness of marketing. In some instances, we've found that a clothing item simply isn't available at all without a character likeness on it.
• Perhaps the worst: Sexism, pure and simple. On boys' clothes? I've seen lizards, sharks, tents, basketballs, etc. etc. and all that is bold, adventurous, and diverse about the world. On girls'? Princesses, flowers, and butterflies. Oh yeah, and rainbows. Dream-land. I shit you not. There's seriously nothing else. And all is right in the world when Sharon does a program for a group of second grades and all the boys want to get their hands all muddy and all the girls shriek when a snake is taken out of a cage. Is it any fucking wonder? I do behlieve that there is an innate factor at work in the two genders for gravitating towards some of these preferences and tendencies. But Christ, our culture exacerbates it. Can a girl currently grow up to be a scientist, or a life-long athlete, or a president? Sure-but right now I have the depressing feeling that-in most cases-it has to be in spite of her background, rather than as a result of it.

160

Beats per minute, a little heartbeat that was difficult to find right away, but which came through, crystal-clear with the little belly microphone that was concentrated in his/her direction. Apparently, 160 is right on target, as Little Bean 2 (we really need a new nickname, and fast) is only an inch and a half long at this point.

With our family coming out of a pretty stressful whirlwind of a six months and me, personally, being a bit overwhelmed by the number of spinning plates I have currently, there has actually not been all that much time to just sit back and reflect on the miracle we have growing steadily in our midst. For all the uncertainty we have surrounding our environment seven months from now, I remember how my initial reaction to the positive prenancy test was pure mirth and joy. It was a similar feeling yesterday, when we heard that heartbeat. I had forgotten what sort of first, enormous milestone that really is-that moment when all your nagging thoughts of "what if the test was just wrong?" or, worse, "what if something has gone wrong in these first couple months?" (the midwife reminded us yesterday that the vast majority of miscarriages, were they to occur, would have happened by this point) are laid to rest and the baby becomes real. Indescribable, the love & closeness you feel for your partner at a moment like that. More laugher ensued. And it was wild, having Lucy there. She really didn't get a whole heck of a lot out of much of anything else (although there was some curiousity during the actual "examination"), but she joined in the excitement during that listening session.

On a side note-the first night of auditions went well. We had a few no-shows, but also had some really talented performers come; some with surprisingly impressive resumes and professionally done head shots (publicity photos). We went out to Perkins (where the flag is bigger than the parking lot) afterwards with the director to sort of run through the auditioners and discuss callbacks. I had a short stack and, stupidly, a couple of cups of coffee which ended up keeping me from hitting the sack until 2:00 a.m. Got up at at 5:45 a.m. Based on my experience, 3:00 p.m. should be interesting.

Birthday Bash Wrapup, Onward with Little Bean 2, and Tryouts!

It would have been great to have the playset together for the party, but oh well...It was still a great time. Lucy's best friend, Harper, was there, as was one-year-old Elsa, making her first appearance in the Hylton household in quite a while. Both were smash hits. Adults present were A&K of south Minneapolis, our neighbor Ginger, grandma Lois & Grandpa Jack who are both spirited enough following last weeks trauma to engage in some lively bickering over diabetic menus, and Harper's mom.

Tops were popped of Spring Ales & Spring Bocks, and Papa Murphy's pizza was consumed. Much sharing of parenthood stories while the little ones did their thing; and then adults had the opportunity to be treated to a puppet show by Harper & Lucy prior to festivities winding down. Yesterday was a day of some recouperation, though it was also the day in which we chose to break the news officially (though we'd been dropping hints), that mamma's got Lucy's little brother or little sister growing in her belly.

Lucy & I will be going with Sharon to all of the pre-natal checkups, and today is the first one. Kind of a the first big moment after the intial positive pregnancy test, when you get past that dicey first six or so weeks and have a little one-and-a-half piece of precious cargo that is finally "real" with respect to the medical profession. Goal number one is to keep Sharon and, by extension, the baby, comfortable and healthy through the entire pregnancy. Goal number two is to prepare Lucy to be a big sister; making sure she feels like a very necessary and important part of the whole process. That began yesterday and continues full-force at the appointment today.

Finally, my theatre company had a meeting with a number of our production team to discuss our overall plan & the director's vision for our play. Today will be our first of two tryout days. The community response has been overwhelming, as we have over 30 folks showing up for auditions. My job there will be to take head shots of auditioners so the director can look & compare prior to making decisions for callbacks. Other company members may also be paired with an auditioner or two so he can get an idea of how various actors would work with us in these scenes. Exciting, exciting...

Gearin' Up

Gearin' up for the weekend; Lucy's having a birthday party. A couple of small friends (& parents) will be there, as well as my parents, up from Iowa. My dad was released form the hosital, by the way, and everything appears to be uner control-which is great. Anyway, we invested a fair amount of money in a wooden swingset for Lucy. I took a couple of afternoons off this last week in an attempt to get it together for a wonderful birthday surprise, but it wasn't nearly enough time. Alas, it'll just be a lot of running around in the backyard. Definitely looking forward to the swingset for this summer, though (the picture above is of the idea finished state-I've currently got it in the state you always see the boat in recreations of the Noah's Ark story, when people are heckling Noah) . Again, a decent amount of money (for us, anyway); but when I look back and remember some of the great adventures in imaginary lands from my youth, I see this as being a great, great part of Lucy's life for years to come.

Shocking, But Not So Shocking

My dad was hospitalized yesterday. As a result of constant peeing, constant thirst, and extreme lethargy, they brought him in, and his blood sugar level was tested at 700 (I don't know a ton about this, but I think 100 is the target level for diabetics). They stabilized him and gave him an insulin shot; it appears he is probably diabetic.

The last three or four years have been really rough on my dad who, at 77, is no spring chicken. It's tough to see this decline in a man who, in his youth, was so athletic & vital. Yet, the truth of the matter is that; whether because of the mindset of his generation, or because of his own ignorance/subbornness, the vast majority of his issues are as a direct result of ignoring his health for the last fifty years. Fifty years of no exercise and eating badly. You just can't do that.
My grandad on his side died of a heart attack at 76 and I have long been aware that my dad has not put himself in a position to be around for a lot of years of Lucy's upbringing. But a few years back, when he had an aneurism, it was a call to action and he immediately and successfully gave up smoking, cold turkey (it bascially took a near-death experience for the dangers of cigarettes to sink in). I can only hope this episode (especially if it is borne out that he is, indeed diabetic), will force some dietary rigor and control into his life. My mom is diebetic; this could have the added benefit of him not keeping foods around the house that are tempting for her. Wish him the best.

On a side note: two diabetic parents. Outlook for me not good.

On a side side note: He'd apparently (unbeknownst to me) had increased levels of pee & thirst for months, and has been repeatedly been in to see his personal practicioner to try to track down the cause of some other, seemingly unrelated, issues of swelling of the legs and tiredness. In all that time, no one thought to do a urinalisis or test his blood-sugar level? Hello, Covenant Medical Center? The Mayberry Clinic called; they want their doctor back. Jeebus.

I Don't Suck!

Use of one of the two chess sets I received for my birthday, the electronic chess set Ivan the Conquerer, has been a humbling experience. Playing game after game on the easiest level, I found myself repeatedly crushed. Hearing the robotic "Check...Mate" has become almost unbearable, and I found myself losing interest in even attempting a new game.

Well, during our family's "quiet time" (a down time set aside, in lieu of naps, which Lucy no longer takes), I was drinking a Summit India Pale Ale (which was quite hoppily bitter and divine), and scrolling through the options to turn off even the most basic vocalizations for Ivan. Suddenly, I realized that it had not been set on the most basic level at all! It was on "4" (indicating Ivan had four seconds to think). I switched it promptly to "1" and won the next game. Oh joy and exaltation, to take that fucker down!

It probably seems like a really lame move by a desperate loser. But to which anyone who has played me at chess can attest; I may be somewhat of a hack, but I'm not a bad chess player, versus other hacks. I asked for the chess set this year in attempt to get back into the game and maybe improve to a level where I wouldn't consider myself a total hack. Understand strategy; maybe think a few moves ahead in a way that isn't completely linear. But these repeated drubbings on level 4 were not accomplishing anything, unless it was to dispirit me and make me lose confidence. I swear that there was NO margin for error. On that level, if you make a single slip up, there was no praying that Ivan "wouldn't see" your mistake and take advantage. Pawns were deployed expertly in triangulated defense schemes in concert with other pieces as he marched his forces inexorably towards victory at the other end of the board. I still shudder at the remembrences. I may get back to that point at some point, but I think I need to string together a few victories at the lowest levels, and challenge myself incrementally. Level 1 is no cakewalk, but the playing field is evened out somewhat as he, too, occasionally will end up giving pieces away in exceptionally ridiculous blunders.

On that game I won, by the way: I turned the volume back on just in time to hear the historic, "I..lose..."

Random Questions & Answers

God love me, but I do like doing these things. Thanks, Stephen, except that you skipped a few questions-raising my suspicions...

1. What is your occupation? GIS Analyst.
3. What are you listening to right now? At this very moment, nothing. This morning, on the way into work-a list of 13 songs on the verge of becoming 10 for my upcoming installment in Coalescent Music Co-op. Yesterday at work-iTunes shuffle.
4. What was the last thing you ate? Five prunes-look out!!!
5. Do you wish on stars? I guess not as such. But I'm not against it.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Lame. But some sort of forest green, I guess.
7. How is the weather right now? Misty, rainy, and about 45.
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Mighty Tom, last night.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Nobody sent it to me.
10. How old are you today? 35.
11. Favorite drink? Really good coffee, mango shake, or a great American Pale Ale or Vienna Lager from a craft brewery, depending on mood and circumstances.
12. Favorite sport to watch? College basketball, at its very best.
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, for a sufer costume, Halloween 2002.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Contacts for day to day & rigorous activity. Glasses to rest my eyes.
15. Pets? Yes, Saraki (aka Squeaky or Feaky Bender)
16. Favorite month? October. Or April.
17. Favorite food? There's a few Indian dishes that might make a run at it, but pizza is still king.
18. What was the last movie you watched? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Sharon & I, in our two-person book club, have been working our way back through the HP series of books, and watching the movie installments for extra clues, and general escapism.
19. Favorite day of the year? I think this is something you have to evaluate in hindsight, and it would differ each year depending on events that unfolded.
20. What do you do to vent anger? I don't really have "heat of the moment" anger issues. If Lucy's really pushing my buttons, sometimes I look up at the sky and make that "Aaaaagh!" sound Pee Wee Herman made when jumping off the train while the hobo was singing in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure." That usually stops breaks the irritation cold, as Lucy has to disengage enough to ask me what's going on, and things get diffused pretty nicely. Overall anger at the state of the world's affairs I deal with by writing or talking with those with similar views.
22. Hugs or kisses? From Lucy or Sharon, bring it on. From other family & close friends, I think hugs are great, though I don't tend to initiate.
23. Cherry or Blueberry? Depends on mood and what's being flavored. Generally, cherry.
24. Do you want your friends to email you back? What? No, I want my friends to pretend I don't exist.
28. When was the last time you cried? I may have since, but the last time I recall for sure was listening to Ben Folds' "I am the Luckiest."
29. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoe sorters, laundry sorter, probably some assorted clothes that missed the laundry sorter. What the hell kind of question is that?
30. What friend have you had the longest? Boy...Mixdorf? Wow.
31. What did you do last night? Went around the block with Lucy on tricycle. Fixed supper (Sharon was coming back late), got Lucy ready for bed, then put her down. Kind of crazy night trying to get her to sleep & I was not freed up till 8:45. Then called Mighty Tom based on a pre-arrangement. His family is out of town and I have Vonage (e.g. free long distance), so we had planned to have a beer over the phone. I drank a Summit India Pale Ale. We talked for at least a couple of hours.
32. Favorite smell? Coffee beans or pine needles. Smell of coffee wafting through the pines?
33. What inspires you? Family, friends, great art (books, silver screen, visual art) & music, social justice issues, physical activity, and nature.
34. What are you afraid of? Being the only guy that doesn't know what the hell is going on.
35. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Veggie burger. (same as Stephen)
36. Favorite car? I hate cars (same as Stephen). But one with great gas mileage, I suppose.
37. Favorite dog breed? Any kind of good timin' dog, medium-sized or up. I don't hate "little yippie dogs" like some people, but they're definitely not my style.
38. Favorite TV show? I don't really think in terms of a favorite. Don't watch anything currently, but I've started collecting the original Simpsons, so maybe that's it. I also really like Star Trek, the original series, Blackadder, the British version of The Office. I know there's some really well-made dramas I could have really gotten into through the years, but I just never made the time.
39. Number of keys on your key ring? Four (two cars, bike, house).
40. How many years at your current job? four and a half.

Stephen, if you want to pull those missing questions out of hiding, feel free. I don't fear them: my life's an open book. And Mixdorf, Aaron, & T-Clog, consider yourself tagged.

Stubborn? Maybe.

I can't recall whether I've done a follow up since that one blog discussion we had over stubborn vs. independent, but I have since been willing to concede that Lucy is stubborn. I think the two are definitely related, but I am pretty sure that she simply sometimes resists our authority as a test of wills.

It's pretty much the biggest issue we have. Looking back on our parenting of her first nearly three years, there's not too much I'd change, but I think we could have been a little more firm in setting limits. We've never really had a problem with "giving in," but what we may have done is let ourselves get drawn into long, drawn-out discussions and mousing around, needlessly, after a decision had already been made. In a book we recently read about parenting without threats or punishment, it talks about this part of a young child called the "baby self" that simply wants your attention, regardless of whether they're arguing, whining, or crying. A seemingly distraught child might actually be licking her chops undercover, the second you give her the response she's been noodling for. The book sums up nicely: "What the child needs: a lot of you. What the child wants: all of you."

We've actually been making a conscious effort (after the initial foot has been put down, and the reason given) of simply not entertaining any further discussion, whatsoever. If she wants to cry or get angry or whine, that's something she can choose, but the expectation that she will do what she's supposed to do will remain. Of course, it's easier said than done-especially when, say, trying to get her ready to get out the door without being late in the morning, but sometimes you're left with simply taking action (e.g. scooping a little girl up and simply inserting legs into pants against her firey will). But presumably, over time, she will continually learn that the "baby self" sorts of behaviors will simply not accomplish anything, and meeting our expectation in a positive way is the most sure-fire way of getting attention she craves. It's tricky, tricky, but we've actually seen some progress already. Almost like there's a load off her tiny little shoulders, but being in a constant state of being ready to rumble.

Of course, I don't mean to give the impression we've had all sorts of difficulties: there's no end to good times and fun, but the "baby self" conflict engagement definitely seems to have a knack for seeking you at at your most frazzled, drained times, and has been our biggest (and maybe only) issue.

I'm Just a Little Girl!

And some notes about Lucy from her teacher that we received at our recent conference:

• Current Work: Does very well with more complicated practical life. Good sequence usually with clean up. Enjoys puzzles, flower arranging, plant watering, table scrubbing, pasting, painting, cooking, food preparation, language & science work, counting.
• General Behavior: Mature and usually helpful in the classroom. Very social at times. Sometimes resists authority. Likes to do things in her own way. Very sure of herself.
• Movement: Loves to dance and move and jump. Enjoys being on the playground.
• Independence: Very independent and self-reliant. Strong personality.
• Language: Excellent language skills. Tells great stories and is able to talk about her feelings. Loves to sing and make up songs.
• Peer Relationships: Gets along well with most children. Has developed close friendships. Easily upset when teased.
• Group Time/Songs: Loves to sing and dance. Enjoys organized movement activities.
• Toileting: Doing and excellend job of usuing the bathroom. Normal & occasional accidents.
• Emotional Issues: Usually stable. Does well with using words and talking about feelings. Can get angry. Needs clear limits.

It's On Now!

Thank you, TopatoCo...











Also check out Not a Doctor. I'm seriously considering ordering a couple of these...

Workin' for a Livin'

Well, I just returned from a three-day business trip to beautiful Austin, TX. The pure nuttiness of a guy like me staying at a downtown Hyatt Regency and presumably networking with a bunch of business demographers reached levels quite probably beyond my ability to explain in detail. so I won't really chance to go down that aspect of the trip at all. I will simply say that Crocodile Dundee moments were indeed in full flower and, while I certainly made the most of the moments I could create for myself...God, business travel is not for me.

I left in a flight early Wednesday morning to spend an afternoon doing "fieldwork" in the city (e.g. checking out location opportunities and noting progress of our stores under construction and those of our competitors). In a wonderful city, I was pretty much reduced to spending the entire day flying around from one nameless, faceless center of big-box commerce to the next. It would have been hard for me to tell I was in suburbian Austin, rather than suburbian Minneapolis, were it not for the towering, unbelievable overpasses that snaked their way around the edge of this rapidly-expanding city. I made sure I was back to the hotel in time for exploring the riverfront trail system via a four-five mile run (very cool!), and then changed and ready for hoofing it across the Commerce Avenue Bridge, just in time to see a few inhabitants exit the largest urban bat cave in the world, and swing into for some authentic Mexican fare along with my first Anchor Steam Lager (review soon to follow).

The next two days, I alternated attending conference seminars & sessions and skipping out on conference-sponsored meal events in the hotel, in favor of pursuing a personal agenda. I squeezed in another run; this time attempting to follow something called the Shoal Creek Greenway based on the directions from this guy who I suspect purposely sent me on a crazy spashing along a concrete girder that ran straight along the middle of a foul, cement-laden waterway until I finally reached an impassable point just before a bridge, from under which shambled a mountain of a bum with hair down to his back and a hump up to his ears. That was the end of that joyride. But upon returning, I did enjoy soaking in an outdoor hot tub with views of the Colorado River and downtown on the other side (it was 45 degrees, so I had the place to myself). Another trip into deep South Austin to eat at a second great Mexican restaurant, and sample a local micro brew (Shiner). I regret slightly that I didn't get a chance to check out the scene on world-famous sixth street, but I was extremely tired and (after meals each night) stuffed. I fell asleep in the room the first night after having just watched the surprisingly good movie, Spanglish; and the second night with a smile on my face, having witnessed the mighty Adam Morrison and Duke's entire starting five reduced to blubbering heaps as a result of their respective exits from this year's NCAA tournament.

Minnesota Blog of the Day!

No, not me, but us, as in Camden Civic Theatre. City Pages picked up Valerie Borey's Good Doctor production journal in their daily Blotter. You can click there, but the actual text is just the brief item below. Not an immense amount of exposure in this snippet, but our promotion of the show has not really begun at all.

MINNESOTA BLOG OF THE DAY
It's not quite like Waiting for Guffman, but you can follow a play from first rehearsal through opening night as the Camden Civic Theatre puts on Neil Simon's The Good Doctor and blogs about it.

Dude, Where's My Party?

This really sums it up quite nicely...

Thanks to Ward Sutton, progressive rag cartoonist...

Only in the City...(and Happy St. Patrick's Day)

A St. Patrick's Day that was wonderful and again wonderful.

Sharon & Lucy came to pick me up at work just before noon. We swung out and got a bite to eat, and then it was over to the Landmark Center in St. Paul, where the Irish Music & Dance Association was hosting their 25th annual St. Patrick's Day festival. It was a great event, except for initially finding parking (St. Patty's Day is like a mini Mardi Gras in that city, which has deep Irish roots). We walked around & saw various vendors & artisans, passed on the $4.00 a stadium cup-Harp Lagers (not sure if I would have even bit on a better, traditional Irish beer at that price in a cup like that, but for sure not a Harp), but got by far the most enjoyment out of the Irish dances & music. I couldn't believe how fired up I was during these live performances; the energy, rhythm, and fun festive atmosphere was absolutely infectious.

There was one particular moment in a traditional music set when a bodhrán (that goatskin drum with the little dumbell-like mallet) player suddenly set down his instrument and flew to the middle of the stage to engage in a flurry of dance steps that grew increasingly intense until the crowd was brought to cheers, whistles, and nearly to its feet. We also saw some kids performing from one of the (more than one, apparently) Irish dancing schools in the area (pictured). A lot of fun, too, making me wish at that moment I had some sort of single or double generational ethnic heritage to flout at such an event, rather than my stinking "date back to the 17th century on both sides" -bull shit lineage I'm stuck with.

Lucy was tired to begin with and started fading & getting grumpy. Though I did not imbibe at the festival, I was driven to the point of needing a drink by the time I got home. Luckily, I picked up a six pack of (much, much better than Harp) Smithwick's Irish Ale earlier this week. Sorry I don't have a review up yet, it's coming soon. Lucy & Sharon both hit the sack shortly after supper, then I went out by myself for phase two of "Only in the City," as I walked a few blocks south and listened to a small jazz combo play at Camden Coffee Company for one of their increasingly trendy and attended Friday music nights.

I've never been a big fan of jazz, having always felt it was a bit inaccessible and lacked general "musical progression." All I can say now is that three or four live performances I have seen have opened my eyes. The piano player in this group is a regular there that with whom I'm somewhat acquainted. During tonight's break, he kind of broke it down for me finally, explaining that the beginning and end of the song establish the melody and are pretty much reproduced as written, and then there's essentially just tablature in between; root notes or chords around which you just take turns improvising and jamming. Where pop music makes me think of places, people, moods, events, & stories, jazz just makes me think of color and of waveforms. It's almost like the inside of my head turns into one of those "vizualizations" in a computer's media player. I just relax, chill out, and get into it. A great closure to a great holiday, and another reminder of how deep in me the hooks of the urban life have truly set. Could I/would I give it up? I would like to think I could, but I think I'm beginning to believe more and more that such a decision is not something I will come to through sitting on a pinnacle of stone, or by checking out stacks of books, or through hours of endless internal debate. It will come to me, if it is meant to be, and I come to a place in my life where I am compelled to migrate. But there is no hurry.

Doh!

What kind of moron schedules a blood donation on the morning of St. Patrick's Day?

Quick Thinking!

I brought my new library book in and began reading it over my lunch hour. When I was ready to get back to work, I suddenly realized I had not brought along a bookmark to hold my place. Thinking quickly, I grabbed a piece of paper, ripped off a strip, hastily wrote "Coretta Scott King" on it, and jammed it in. Disaster averted!

About Us

Photos & biographies up on the Camden Civic Theatre website. There have also been a lot of other improvements to the site, if you want to poke around for a minute.

I'd also like to take some space to mention our Get Involved section, where you can be a patron of the arts of sorts and make a tax-deductible contribution to CCT. The case for dollar support for our company is the community-building work we are doing; even though we live in the most theatre-rich city in the nation (measured by companies per population), we will be the only theatre company operating in the modest, blue-collar borough of Camden. You can read more about the mision here.

I realize, though that the community-building aspect of our organization does not affect the majority of your own local communities, which have their own needs; so I understand if you feel the case it not totally there to inspire your volunteer dollars. However, if you live too far away to reasonably be expected to attend a performance, but would otherwise like to support us, consider picking up some stylish Camden Civic Theatre gear at Cafe Press.

End of Feb. Resolution Check-In

A few days late here, but I'm still intending to hold myself accountable on a monthly basis to my goals for 2006.

Future: Residence Issue Resolved
Unbeknownst to Blogging Nation, we had almost decided to reverse course and make the decision to stay in our current house (barring Zephyr) for the rest of our lives. A sudden turn of events (future addition of child), as well as some recent financial figurings (namely, how our monthly house payment plus monthly home improvement loans would equal the cost of an upgrade in house/neighborhood, anyway) has made me make one, last desperate reverse course. If I can get Sharon on board, I'm hoping the time crunch of her pregnancy could launch me into a focused "get the house in selling condition" mode. Definitely "top of mind;" hopefully I'll have something to report next check-in.

Health: Be on regular cardiovascular schedule AND be eating right/in moderation.
Christ, this was going so well, before a crazy one-two combination of events derailed me: First, I decided to do a detoxification program that required me to not do any strenuous exercise for a couple of weeks. About a week in, though, we hit this crazy set of circumstances with my cat which caused me to leave work a lot over the course of a few weeks. My regular "running at lunch" schedule was thrown totally off track, as was my diet (stress-related). I'm pretty sure that I'm more full of toxins than I was before the detox. Need to get back to business on this.

Art: Finish Secret Of HIM.
As it turns out, my involvement with Camden Civic Theatre, in preparation for our inagural production, has demanded a lot of my time & energy. Back to the old situation of no energy and/or time left for recording. I do have the energy to at least noodle around on guitar, and I'm planning to do a totally solo show (my first ever "official" show of that sort) sometime in April or early May. Not necessarily on track for this resolution, but if I'm sacrificing one arena of art to make progress in another, I don't consider that a total failure.

Wow-I'm not exactly having total success with my resolutions...

OK, So I Was Never any Good at Keeping Secrets, Anyway

Sharon & I are expecting our second child. In almost identical circumstances to those surrounding Lucy, the pregnancy was unexpected but entirely welcome and cause for celebration.

I almost think it was some sort of combination of the various money stresses of the past number of months, and all the other stresses on my mind (courtesy of the Year of Big Decisions), combined with the sudden wash of joy; but the moment at which she showed me the little indicator on the home pregnancy test (99% accuracy rate), I just started laughing. I couldn't stop. She started trying to ask me why I was laughing and then she started laughing, too. Lucy came wandering in, wondering why her momma & daddy were laughing, laughing, laughing and locked in an embrace; then she started laughing, too and asked to be picked up and held between us. A wonderful moment. Sure to be on the Short List for "Best Moment of 2006," though almost assured of not being the Best Moment.

Ah, new life! I'm a Grade-A Cynic; but for me, bringing a new life into the world is the greatest expression of optimism I can possibly imagine. Optimism not only that I can add someone to the world that will do it more good than harm, but also optimism that we face a world worth living in. It's a crazy, sometimes messed-up and frustrating little world we live in, with seemingly no end of disappointment, cruelty, and suffering. But it is an extraordinary, wild, wide, and wonderful world too, with love, beauty, laughter, and curiosity enough to bring you pleasure, were you to be able to live a thousand lifetimes. All the things that make life worth living: the "spices of life." I love them and the experience of sharing them with my daughter brings me such joy I want to jump around and explode. And I can't wait to let someone else in on all the fun!!!

May I Fix Your Car?

The Longest Pee

My poor cat!

So, following the surgery, Saraki is not supposed to use traditional cat litter while she still has her stitches in because of the dust factor. We were instructed to use shredded paper instead, and told that she would be able to make the adjustment.

On day one after her last return from the clinic (Sunday night), she peed on an old dog bed we had placed under the couch, where she had immediately retired, in an effort to be alone for awhile after all the stress. We attributed that somewhat to grogginess and confusion, and a little to the discomfort of trying to make her way all the way over to one of the shredded paper stations we had put out for her. The vet had also told us that there was a chance she might protest the change in litter in a couple of instances, but assured us that she would get with the program shortly thereafter.

From that point on, though, things became, "The Great Squeaky Pee Hunt." We could find no further evidence of pee in the house. There was nothing in the shredded paper litters. Ditto on the floor mats in the entryways. There was no way she could get upstairs or downstairs; those cat-holes were sealed off, tight. There were really only three rooms we left accessible to her, and we just couldn't find a thing. I was certain she had found some nook or cranny we were overlooking, but Sharon was convinced that we would have been able to smell something after two days stretched into three days and then finally on to a fourth day.

Finally, yesterday on the way home from work, Sharon picked up a new kind of litter made of recycled newspaper processed into little pebble-sized balls, called "Yesterday's News." Fresh, clean, and much like The Squeak's traditional litter, except completely dust-free and safe for her use. We got out the old litter pan, cleaned it up good, and poured in a luxurious four-inch carpet of the new stuff. Sharon set Sqeaker right in the center, where she proceeded to pee for at least 45 seconds. It was immediately followed by a crap of the size that would have made a golden retriever proud. Good Lord, but that's a stubborn cat.

More Local Activism: My Letter to the Mayor

Unlike my mayor, I intend to follow through on the promise I make at the bottom of the letter...

Dear Mr. Rybak,

Ordinarily I would not have assumed that you would be the contact point about development plans of the old Kowalski's building at 44th Ave & Humboldt Ave N; with it being a single, freestanding retail location. However, like many of my Camden neighbors, I was quite encouraged by a piece of campaign literature only days before the November election promising a "focus on redeveloping the Kowalsk's site."

Well, in calls to your office prior to the election and leading up until yesterday, I have been unable to find anyone in your office that is even familiar with the building in question, much less someone who has any idea of any specific work you are doing with respect to the property. Indeed, in a conversation with someone in your office yesterday, I was told that, as mayor, you would have absolutely no involvement with any change of ownership or future development at the site. I can assure you, this is an issue of great importance to us up here. The neighborhoods of Lind-Bohanon, Webber Camden, Victory, and Shingle Creek Neighborhoods are at a crossroads and we consider the survival of retail at that corner to be critical to the vitality of our community.

I'm not sure whether you've really got something in the works and I'm just not talking to the right people in your office, or whether you made an empty promise in a last-ditch effort to scrape up a few extra votes from gullible Northsiders, but I'm desperate to believe the former. Please convince me you're involved in this project and/or why you made this promise at election time, or I will most definitely put a lot of energy into turning this apparent deception and lack of follow-through into a real issue via local publications and at neighborhood organizations with which I'm involved.

Regards,

Dan Hylton
Lind-Bohanon, Camden

Brokeback Mountain: 5 Stars

Lost in the shuffle: post Saraki amputation and pre-diagnosis with heart failure, Sharon & I had our late Valentine's date Friday night. Dinner at the recently reopened Udupi Cafe (yay!), and a viewing of the much ballyhooed and booed, staple of light night talk show monologue move, Brokeback Mountain.

I though I'd heard, going in, the whole "gay thing" was secondary to the plot, which is a love story. I totally must have misheard that. In anything approaching mainstream cinema, I realize now we're probably about twenty years out yet from something like that; and the subject was right out, front and center.

Ang Lee, the director, did a really interesting and quite amazing thing thing in Brokeback: he placed this scene about 15 minutes in that just assaults your sensitivities, even if it's something you think you're prepared for. I couldn't help but to squirm in the ever-so slightly uncomfortable way and exlaim a low, "whoa..." After that, I think the movie kind of says, "Are you still with me? Good..." It's like it just wanted to say, "I think I know what you're afraid of, so let me just throw this at you, so we can just get it out in the open and you don't have to be wondering in the back of your mind what's going to happen, when." From that point on, the movie becomes one of the (choose to believe it or not) most accurrately portrayed Westerns I have ever seen, as well as an incredible, beautiful, heart-rending love story. It is also, maybe, the best acted movie I have ever seen. I can't specifically recall any better. I cannot recommend it enough.

On a side note: these cowboys in this movie are badasses. T-Clog would love almost everything about the Heath Ledger character. He's just like a young Woodrow Call, except he gets fucked up the butt.

New Links

A couple of new blog links to the right:
- Stephen's From the Edge to Center: Stephen being, again, the dude who tracked me down after 16 or some odd years to find that we both had some interest in what was going on in one anothers' lives. Check in to see what books he's discussing and what cool pictures he has taken to document his latest doings down in Iowa City and beyond. Welcome, Stephen!
- The Good Doctor: Also from a recent post, this is the spring production of Camden Civic Theatre. Valerie, a founding member of the fledgling CCT, a profilic blogger, & wonderful writer, will be posting regular updates to chronicle not only the technical steps, but the thought processes of our company as we throw together our inagural production. Of course I'll still be sure to catch major happenings for this play, as they relate to me, within this forum. Welcome, Valerie and CCT company members!

Home & Stable

Before...



and After...


head tucked in to the right, spot of missing leg is obvious, and
adhesive pain patch on her back

As the title indicates, her condition stabilized; to the point where we were able to bring her home today. We will keep her on a medication called Lasix which is intended to keep fluid out of her heart and lungs. In talking with a number of folks over the past day, there's few people out there who have not had their lives touched in some way by someone (human, that is) who has suffered congential heart failure. In addition to putting things in perspective (dearly though we love our cat), it also confirmed-if there are to be assumed any similarities between human & feline cases-what the vet has been telling us, which is that the success of this type of treatment varies wildly.

What I stated in my last post is what we're going to hold to, here. We simply want her be relaxed and comfortable, regardless of whether she has two weeks or two years (less than two years and it would be real, real hard to find a silver lining). As you can see in the second photo, she is relaxed and comfortable. So far so good.

Somebody Up There Hates My Pets...Or Me, Part 3

So, in the roller coaster of news concerning my cat, she started having labored breathing with a kind of rattley sound last night and, concerned, Sharon ran her back in at about 3 am. First they found that she had fluid in her lungs and later, after having confined her to an oxygen tent and running myriad tests, determined she is experiencing congestive heart failure; probably due to the physiological stress her body has undergone over the past few days.

She's responding to some treatment they're giving her in order to relieve the lung fluid, but it remains to be seen how she will respond to heart medication. She could live from a few days to a couple of years, depending on how manageable is the condition. Looking back, we can't see a single point where we've misstepped in terms of getting her treated. Nevertheless, we're once again faced with a pet that's experiencing an insanely unfair and untimely set of life-shortening health issues. The omnipresent realization, also, is that we're into this a dollar amount which, like the national deficit, has exceeded our capacity to even plan paying, and is into the realm of numbers better wrangled by astronomers and geologists.

What we're wishing for at this point is that she can return home at least be with us until she has the chance to heal from the discomfort of her surgery and be able to have a period of leisure & relaxation before the end.

Of course, that is trusting to hope, which has long since forsaken these lands.

My Cat She's Got Three Legs and Other News

The surgery went well, though we won't find out until later today whether Saraki is ready to come home. We're to keep her from jumping for a couple of weeks (quite a challenge-how are we supposed to make all elevated horizontal surfaces in our house inaccessible?), and keep her only on the main level of our house. Cats traditionally adjust very well to being amputees, and we'll make sure that she gets back into her routine of lounging & luxuriating as seamlessly as possible. Pictures will follow in the next few days.

We've been under a lot of stress. Tonight we're finally getting around to our Valentine's Day night away from home. We'll be going to our favorite restaurant, Udupi Cafe, which is recently remodeled, I guess; and then heading to a performance of "Raisin in the Sun" at the Alchemy Theater. Members in my theatre company are all going to check out this play and compare notes on what is regarded as a community-based theatre company that really took off and did things the right way.

On a side note, we have landed on a spring production: Neil Simon's "The Good Doctor." Those who have followed my acting career since my early days may recall that Round Town Players took on this play in 1989, with five or six cast members taking on all 20-25 roles in the play. We feel like it's an ideal play as a premier show for our company for a number of reasons, from flexibility it gives us in cast & technical considerations, to the publicity benefit of Neil Simon-name recognition. But mostly, it's a fast-paced, hilarious play with a style of humor that we feel will be accessbile and well-received by a Camden audience. Company members, our troupe de facto leader has informed us that we more or less can pick and choose what roles we wish to play, rather than having to go through an audition process. It's a kind of weird feeling, like I will have not earned the part. But, despite the practice being new to me, I guess it's standard in groups like ours for the company members to take the main roles, then have open audition for the rest. Certainly, there will be more to follow on all this in the next couple months as things heat up, and eventually, we're going to have updates here.

Interesting Topic Brewing, There...Let's Post It

First off, I should mention, it's full-steam ahead with Plan A. Everything checked out OK (with the exception of the cancerous tumor, of course), and The Squeak should be fine for the surgery. Within 24 hours, you'll be talking to a guy with a three-legged cat.

But back to the topic that was taking legs in the previous post's comments: I'm not sure whether I really do seem to run into a tremendous number of ridiculous challenges, or whether I just have a little too much of the "woe is me" syndrome. What do you think? Certainly, we all have our own crosses to bear. I've never been one to bear mine in a manner uncharacteristic with anything else I do...in silence.

I will also add this-if my blog makes me come across as a Sad Guy, then it is misrepresenting me. I am a guy with very high highs, but I definitely hit bumps in the road. I was thinking about the "money doesn't buy happiness" quote the other day, and thinking of a very ironic & kind of funny thing: for me, it just might. I look at the various things in my life, from my personal relationships to my interests, and I see nothing but things that bring me joy (or, net joy, anyway). The only thing that ever gets in the way is when I run into one of my little, frequent financial setbacks. Then I start worrying about whether we're going to be able to pull of the move we're contemplating, get out of this debt in which we've been trapped for years, etc. etc. I suppose it might be more accurate to say that I'm happy but I don't have a ton of peace of mind. But again, it's only with the money thing that there's no peace of mind.

I'm sure it's true that if you're just a bastard and/or miserable and surrounded by a lot of other miserable bastards, money is not going to fix everything. But to think that having more money to pay the bills wouldn't make a happy person all the more happy-well, whoever made the quote really should have stuck an asterisk at the end.

Somebody Up There Hates My Pets, Or Me Part 2

Goodbye tax return, indeed. In the immortal words of Nick the Dick, "...and then some."

We consulted with the Veterinary Oncologist today: the most personable, easy-going health practicioner I have ever encountered, though that is neither here nor there. We will be proceeding to do a number of tests tomorrow to determine (to the best of technology's ability) whether the cancer is isolated in Saraki's back leg, or has reached other parts of her body. "Prognosis A," which is more likely , is if it is localized in the leg. We then will submit her to a battery of tests, then amputate the leg on Thursday. Final bill: about $3,500.
"Prognosis B," is...well, I'm not going to go down the road of Prognosis B unless I have to. We're just hoping we aren't looking at "Somebody Up There Hates My Pets, Or Me Part 3 which, given our history, wouldn't be all that surprising despite our current optimism.

Christ, our optimistism is reduced to spending $3,500 and chopping off the leg our our cat. Somebody up there really hates my pets, or me.

Steve! (or is it "Stephen" now?)

So, less than a week ago, I checked the obsolete-but-still-operational email at Pat_and_Dan@yahoo.com. I direct most of my music related "business" through my "hylton44" presence, but there are still a few contact points for the old musical duo out there in the w.w.w., not the least of which is the Pat and Dan website. I'm only in there sporadically now, and then usually just to clean out the overflowing spam folder and sift through a few various unsigned band venture invitations that probably belong in the spam folder.

In this particular visit, however, was a "hey guys" message from an old high school friend that tracked either Pat or me (or both of us) down and was interested in seeing what we were up to. I got back to him and we had a little exchange in which we filled each other in a general overview of our 17-odd years since high school and 15-odd years since our last contact. Though it may have been of some interest that I carried a then-bourgeoning music interest into a lifelong pursuit and recently found myself back into the arena of theatre (we both acted in high school plays "back in the day"), I think what was probably most amazing to Steve was that I still carried with me a group of some of my closest associations from my high school days: Pat M, Pat G, and Cory L.

What I found, both in our emails, and when I reversed the role of investigator and checked out Steve's blog (is it Stephen now?), is that his experience since high school is remarkably similar to my own. Not many, or nearly any, of the actual events (he taught English in Japan for three years, then later returned and got a masters degree in literature, I think from the University of Iowa), but kind of in the overall "personal journey" sort of way. In his post regarding the intial overture, he refers to the earlier, high school version of himself as the "stupid version," one that he resisted coming face to face with. It was a sentiment with which I could totally identify. As many of my closest friends of these days can attest, my own journey from this earlier version of myself has been so long and crazy that I truly feel like I don't even know who that old verison of Dan was. Of course, I needed for him to exist to get here, and yaya yada, but that doesn't mean that I look back on those years with comfort or pride. In fact, one of my greatest goals in life is to try to prepare my daughter to take that introspective journey about seven to eight years earlier than I did.

So, it was refreshing to have a voice from the past announce that he, too, has arrived at some kind of destination, if maybe by a different route, and is now waving to me from far off, atop his own mountaintop. That is, as opposed to some sort of creepy reminder of a past I'd rather forget (like, say, an insane publication put together by a desperate, former homecoming queen wannabe trying to assemble a "where are they now?" guide arriving in my mailbox). So, hi Steve! (Stephen?)

As an aside, I see that Steve checked in on my last post; great to see, not only in that maybe there is some sort of re-establishment of our relationship, but also because it ups my readership by a significant percentage. Though I can't guarantee a constant string of comments, I will start checking in on his blog, as well. Maybe the next time Steve is in the Twin Cities, we can hook up for a visit, beer, and/or bad movie and some pizza.

River Gift, Not Answer: The Lessons of PrairyErth

Around a week ago, I finished up what was an extraordinary journey for me: the reading of PrairyErth, by William Least Heat-Moon. As I stated in a post last summer, this was the best work of nonfiction I have ever read, bar none. For more about the content of the book, read my earlier post or information at Amazon. But to summarize my experience once more, the read was deeply philosohpical, reflective, meditative, introspective and mind-blowing, and I can't recommend it enough.

In the final chapter, he is walking with a friend very near the end of his time researching the book and he is asked,

"Did you find the answers you were looking for?"

His response, a life-altering:

"I found a place that was willing to reveal itself to me."

I just love that.

It's No Jumanji Window, But...

My Johari Window.

Please visit and contribute your perspective.

Thanks in advance, and thanks, Amanda.

Somebody Up There Doesn't Like My Pets, or Me

Our cat, Saraki (aka Squeaky) has a cancerous tumor in her leg.

The last month and a half since Kuna-i's passing have been kind of a honeymoon period for us with our cat. We've been able to give her all kinds of attention and love, without the burden of a high-needs dog diverting all of our time and energy. She has responded by "luxuriating" and spending lots of time on laps, in beds, and/or in front of heat sources. It's been really nice. In this sense of newfound companionship, Sharon remarked to Squeaky a couple of days ago, "I hope you live a long, long time." That, unfortunately, was the morning of the day when Sharon discovered a large lump in her hind leg.

Still unknown as yet how advanced the condition is. The only thing we know for sure is that we're going to be out probably multiple thousands of dollars before the situation is resolved, for better or worse. With Kuna-i, there was always overriding knowledge that we were throwing money towards treatment of a dog that was declining and losing quality of life at a rate that would finally overtake our ability to keep up. With Saraki, there is really no debate: her quality of life has been pretty much top-notch. If there is a way to completely rid her body of this cancer, we've got to try. Doesn't mean we've got to love the expense of it, but simply that we've got to absorb it, somehow. Our first step is an appointment with an veterinary oncologist at the U of M early next week. Goodbye tax return.

What the Hell

"Thanks," Aaron.
1. Smoked cigarettes - Yep. Only once, semi regularly (1993-1994). Other than that, purely as a lark in nights of debauchery.
2. Smoked a cigar -Yep.
3. Broken a CD - Yep.
4. Crashed a friend's car - No.
5. Stolen a car - No.
6. Been in love - God, yeah.
7. Been dumped - Not per se. Though I was cheated on a couple of times in inconsequential relationship to begin with. Both ended mutually, as much as anything else.
8. Shoplifted - No.
9. Been fired - No, but laid off.
10. Been in a fist fight - Only at age seven or so.
11. Snuck out of your house - Oh yeah. Had a club based on that premise in junior high.
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back -God, yeah, infatuation though it was.
13. Been arrested - No, though been told "freeze!" by a cop on two occasions.
14. Made out with a stranger - Yup.
15. Gone on a blind date - Only as the wingman.
16. Lied to a friend - Yup. Though not for years, and I definitely do not make a practice of lying these days.
17. Had a crush on a teacher - Only slightly, if at all.
18. Skipped school - Are you kidding? A practice I took relish in through the age of 33.
19. Slept with a coworker - Former coworker count?
20. Seen someone die - No.
21. Been on a plane - What? Yes.
22. Thrown up in a bar - IN a bar, no. In the bathroom of the hotel lobby right next to the bar from which I emerged, yes, with some force.
23. Taken painkillers - What? Over the counter? Yes. Prescription? Yes. Illegally? No.
24. Love someone or miss someone right now - Yes and yes.
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by - Yes.
26. Made a snow angel - Yes.
27. Played dress up - As an adult? Yes.
28. Cheated while playing a game - As an adult? No.
29. Been lonely - Who hasn't? That's a really stupid question.
30. Fallen asleep at work/school - Yes and yes.
31. Used a fake id - No.
32. Felt an earthquake - No.
33. Touched a snake - Yes.
34. Ran a red light - On purpose? Yes. Though I don't condone or endorse the practice.
35. Been suspended from school - No.
36. Had detention - Yes.
37. Been in a car accident - Yes.
38. Hated the way you look - Yes.
39. Witnessed a crime - Other than minor traffic infractions? Yes.
40. Pole danced - No.
41. Been lost - Yes. Both in civilization and in the wilderness.
42. Been to the opposite side of the country - Yes.
43. Felt like dying - Yes.
44. Cried yourself to sleep - Probably technically, no. But in a literary sense, probably yes.
45. Played cops and robbers - Yes. As an adult? No.
46. Sang karaoke - Yep.
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't - Not sure, though I'm generally not in the habit of telling myself I wouldn't do something.
48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - Yup.
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue - Yup.
50. Kissed in the rain - Not sure. But if I did, the rain was incidental.
51. Sing in the shower - Often.
52. Made love in a park - Made OUT in a park.
53. Had a dream that you married someone - Yup.
54. Glued your hand to something - Yeah, but the situation did not get serious.
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - I think so, but I'm not certain.
56. Worn the opposite sex's clothes - Perhaps in a play, but I'm not sure.
57. Had an orgasm - Yup.
58. Sat on a roof top - Yup. Mine, others', Cresthaven's, and the old, abandoned Kwick Trip's (see "Snuck out of the house," above)
59. Didn't take a shower for a week - Maybe not, but I've pushed it on more than one occasion (camping, mostly)
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone - Even too scared to watch scary movies with others.
61. Played chicken - No.
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - No.
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger - Not as such. I'm no JBart.
64. Broken a bone - Yes.
65. Been easily amused - Amost constantly.
66. Laugh so hard you cry - At least every few days.
67. Mooned/flashed someone - Only friends.
68. Cheated on a test - Yes, I think, but in a very minor way. Another practice I do not endorse nor condone.
69. Forgotten someone's name - Constantly. Usually moments after meeting them. A big problem with me.
70. Slept naked - I think, but I'm not sure. Not a usual practice. I get too excited.
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool - No, but in a river.
72. Been kicked out of your house - No.
73. Blacked out from drinking - Not sure if you'd qualify it as that. Not a sudden smack of unconsciousness. I've definitely drunk myself into a state where I zonked out at what could be considered an unusual time.
74. Played a prank on someone - Yup.
75. Gone to a late night movie - Yup.
76. Made love to anything not human - What? Who's going to admit that? No.
77. Failed a class - Dropped out WHILE failing Match IV, but in time to avoid the grade.
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat - No.
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours - No.
80. Cheated on a gf/bf - Yes.
81. Ate a whole package of Oreos - One sitting? Probably close on more than one occasion, but no.
82. Thrown strange objects - What? I'm sure I have, but that's pretty vague.
83. Felt like killing someone - God, yes. Planned it, in fact.
84. Thought about running away - As a kid? Yeah.
85. Ran away - Not with the intention of staying away.
87. Had detention and not attend it - I don't think so.
88. Yelled at parents - Yup.
89. Made parent cry - Yup, sometimes inexplicably.
90. Cried over someone - Yes.
91. Owned more than 5 puppies. - No.
92. Dated someone more than once - No.
93. Have a dog - No.
94. Have a cat - Yes.
95. Own an instrument - Piano, 2 keyboards, thumb piano, bass, elec. guitar, acoustic guitar, classical guitar, snare drum, drum machine, egg shake, rattle, recorder
96. Been in a band - Yep.
97. Had more than 25 sodas in one day - No, but 56 cans in a week.
98. Made out with a member of the same sex - No, though that may come as a surprise to the Roberts Hall residents of 1991-1992.
99. Shot a gun - Yes, but only an air rifle/bb gun.
100. Been online for more than 5 hours straight - Every day at work. Other than that? I very well may have, but I'm not positive.

Weighing In on the Mohammad Cartoon

It began with an email exchange with Mixdorf in which I suggested that:

"On one hand, you have the incredibly sad irony people protesting the depiction of Mohammad as a terrorist by burning & killing. On the other hand, I wonder what the reaction of many Catholics would have be, were there to have been, amidst the Catholic Priest/child scandal a political cartoon of a slathering, sleazy-looking Pope chasing around little kids. Or Jesus doing the same."

He replied:

"There may have been, though perhaps with some level of decorum.

There's no excuse for burning and pillaging, and they're not really helping their cause by doing so, but on the other hand there's little editorial value to something as crude as the turban shaped-like-a-bomb cartoon."

To which I now add, at the risk of invoking the wrath of the Muslim and Western world:

The appropriateness of running the cartoon originally can be debated. The fact that certain media will not show it now is absolute BS, because is TOTALLY relevant to the story OF the controversy. One might even say it is a perfect example of the oft & too often remarked claim, "...then the terrorists have already won."

Lord knows I try to call U.S. culture & policy out when I disagree with it, but it does appear that currently, the consensus of “decorum” among the masses in the Muslim world really, really appears to be lagging behind the rest of the major world religions. I acknowledge that they feel that they are under constant attack (both figuratively and literally) by the West in a number of issues, but in instances like this, all the traditional and almost defensible reasons for taking up arms (economic destitution & loss of land, life, or liberty) are stripped away and what we're left with is people that just flip out far too easily. If suppose, were I were to come from a group of people that was systematically beaten down and oppressed over a series of generations, perhaps I would be so near a boiling point that nearly anything could send me over the top. I don't and can't know, and something like that may certainly be at work here.

But from an intellectual standpoint, I can't see how anyone that looks at the sort of culture of violence that seems to be encouraged and perpetuated amongst many voices that represent the Muslim faith could possibly come away with a hopeful view of their future. Of course, I can't see how anyone in this country that supports Republican policy can see it as a hopeful view of their future either, and people over here are a lot more at liberty to spend leisurely, comfortable hours thinking about such things.

Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner

Just saw this movie last night. A low budget (entire thing shot on a digital camera) Inuit-language (English subtitles) film about love, revenge, passion, determination, and triumph that got incredible reviews upon its release a couple of years ago. Indeed, everything I read about the film made it sound like it might be one of the most amazing things to have ever been put on film.

It was good, and extremely interesting. The "Holy Shit!" factor was very high with respect to the lifestyle and harsh environment that was portrayed. The Inuit actors, almost all in their first film roles, also did a really good job. It fell a little short for me in the simplicity of the dialogue. Did the nuance & depth of the words lose something in the translation? Almost certainly. But, if this film is made for wider consumption, one would think they'd take ever step possible to preserve the craft of the original scriptwriter in the subtitling.

The culture, customs, interactions, and everything else about these people is totally in-your-face. I was put back on my heels just a bit because of the visceralness (is that a word) of everything on the screen. Perhaps it was thought that telling a story about powerful, yet basic human concepts (love, revenge, etc.) would benefit from being presented in a very stark setting using very simple dialogue. Almost fairy-tale like. Indeed, I read an AllMovie.com synopsis that indicates it was based on an Inuit legend.

All in all, I'd definitely recommend the movie. Always good to see what you can do with (relatively) little money, but a great concept. Very educational, pretty inspiring, and definitely not something you're gonna get at the local cineplex.

A Couple of Musical Diversions...

1. Currently in my process of loading up all my CDs to iTunes on my work computer, I'm toting in five discs per day for import. Of course, I play selections from the "set of five" on my ride in & out, and "Beatles Anthology 2" happened to be the collection today (I'm nearly there, since I'm going Z-A, by artist). In the collection of outtakes & live recordings is a live version of "Yesterday," one made a little more famous among Beatles faithful by John Lennon's introduction of the song, "For Paul McCartney of Liverpool, opportunity knocks." Completely alone with an acoustic guitar, for the first time ever in rock and roll music, Paul nailed it. It reminded me of a very similar situation, the time when the Beatles were invited for a command performance in front of the Queen of England for the first time. Paul again was in the spotlight, this time with a little backing by the other members, as he performed 'Till There Was You. With no margin for error (due to the sparse musical backing), Paul again nailed the music and singing with one of the most brilliant live performances I've ever seen. To me, also as a fan of sports, it was the equivalent of shooting two free throws while down one in the NCAA Championship Game with no time left and swishing them both. I don't think it's on either Anthology (Aaron?), but may be in the BBC Collection, which I don't have (again, Aaron?) If anyone is particularly interested (I guess this could be in 'The Annex'), I could try to track it down and make it available. A seminal moment in the history of popular music, I think.

2. Also noticed in the "group of five" today; something that I offer us as an interesting tidbit to that fan of meaningless coincidence who reads my blog every day. I have six, maybe seven double albums in my entire collection. Four of them are in perfect alphabetical order: Beatles: Anthology I, Beatles: Anthology II, Bee Gees: Greatest Hits, Best of Both Worlds: Hannibal World Music Sampler. Though, now that I think about it, "Best of Both Worlds" should really be classified under "Various," but this is where it's sat in my collection for years and years, so I'm not quite sure I'm ready to move it yet.

Congressional Hearings Today on NPR: Ah...ah...ah GOOOSH!

The Senate will be questioning Attorney General Alberto Gonzales today about the administration's use of the National Security Agency to monitor domestic communication. Most people in the US have heard something about this issue, but don't really know much about it and sort of assume that the government is working in their best interests and the whole thing will sort itself out. There's are many, many other gradients of knowing/caring about this issue before you get to the small percentage of people that are following this story in some form or another on a near-daily basis, and are now planning to tune in for hours of live coverage today on the radio or CSPAN.

God, I'm such a wonk.

Well, Add it to the List...

Yet another thing that the rest of the world seems to get that I just don't quite: beard trimming. About a month and a half of beard growth once again down the shitter as I tried again (and unsuccessfully, again) to trim my beard and make it a little neater. The combination of unkempt beard and unruly hair was starting to make me look like the lead singer to Phish.

For me, the attempt is like trying to bite a cookie into a circle. I keep trimming and trimmnig and trimming and trimming, trying to get it right; and end up with no beard at all.

On a side note, resolution ammended.

The Resolution Project: Check-In #1

I thought it would be good to have regular, end-of-month check-ins to see how we're coming along on our resolutions and keep ourselves accountable to something.

1. Residence Issue Resolved: Cripes, where did I sit on this exactly a month ago? Currently, we're planning to do some light improvements on our house (the most complex of which is a very light remodel of our kitchen), try to sell our house, and move into the Victory Neighborhood of Camden (Minneapolis). Ed. note: we're not by any means putting the "kabosh" on the Zephyr Project. Just trying to be a little more decisive and not let our slowly percolating big-picture plans paralyze us in the here and now. Maybe that's what the "residence issue resolved" issue was/is all about and, if that's the case, we need only progress further along in our current plans to accomplish it. So far so good...

2. Conversion from Coffee to Tea as Daily Brew: Progressing slowwwly, but progressing. This one is almost entirely tied to how early I can get myself to bed. The general rule of thumb is that if I'm to bed after 11:00 or so, I'm going to need coffee in the morning; but of course my bedtimes of the preceding few days before that may figure into the equation. I've managed to have tea about three or four days to the complete exclusion of coffee; which may sound pretty lame but within the context of where I come, it's a bit of an achievement. Both a decent run of early bedtimes and abstinence from late-night peanut butter binges have faltered a bit in the past week or two, but I expect those bumps in the road and I'm not going to kick myself over it. Back up on the wagon, and carry on.

3. Finish Secret of HIM: Well, prior to making the resolutions I was sitting at four songs pretty much recorded (with the possibility of re-doing some tracks and the inevitability of remixing them all). In January, I was able to record the entire drum track of a new song and pen a couple of new verses to a different song that has existed for a long time but was in dire need of a re-write. Again, sloow progress, but more than anything else, inspiration in this arena tends to go in massive waves. And I've really been letting the disorganization & clutter in my basement get in the way of getting the studio all set up & going at full capacity.

In retrospect, I wonder if I should have maybe chosen a different #2. One of the things I'm most fired up about (and to which I'm actually adhering) is a commitment to regular (but not excessive-leading to burnout) cardiovascular activity. Since the beginning of the month, I've dutifully run 3-4 times a week in total moderation (anywhere from one to just over three miles), and actually done a lot of walking on the non-running days (e.g. walking a mile round trip to run an errand from work and that sort of thing). If the powers-that-be wouldn't mind me swapping this out, I'd like to go back and amend my original resolutions. I'll even change the original damned post.

Peace Accords with Sharon

We had a few couples over last weekend for a belated ringing in of the New Year. A second annual sharing of resolutions & hopes for the coming year, lots of levity & storytelling, and a few rousing rounds of the party game "Apples to Apples." On top of other snacks & beverages, I was happy to provide a nice selection of quality craft beer from which our guests could choose. However, I made sure to tuck away a Schell's Firebrick Ale & Schell's Pale Ale, as I was not going to finish off my sampler pack without trying a couple of those notable and well-regarded brews.

I actually started the evening with a Firebrick, and it was wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that I finished it in short order and moved on to my Pale Ale. Also wonderful. One of my guests brought over a six pack of his favorite beer, Harp Lager, and made me an offer of one, to which I acquiesced. Suddenly, I was buzzing.

Understand, I am having beer every night or every other night these days, but I am generally a one-beer guy. In fact, strictly a one-beer guy unless drinking with friends on a special occasion. So tonight, I was not really "tipsy," as they say, but definitely "feeling it," as those same people, and others besides, say. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Roy!!! How's it going, buddy? He stepped through the door and before I knew it, he was living it up, laughing, and regaling the assembled folks.

Now, anyone who knows the history of Roy knows that his presence used to annoy Sharon. He was a bit overbearing, exceedingly loud, and not very sensitive to how she was feeling at social events. It hit rock bottom when, returning from a party in St. Paul where Roy had been in "fine form," Roy stumbled and fell when getting out of the car and actually had to be helped to his feet and into the house. It was the next morning when I was informed that diplomatic ties with Roy were being officially severed. He was not allowed in her presence anymore. That was a promise that I kept for probably around six or seven years until, I guess, last weekend.

Whether its me getting a little wiser and softening my presentation or Sharon mellowing a bit, or just both of us understanding one other a little better, it was after beer three and before beer four (a tasty Snowstorm) that I realized that yes, Roy was there and yes, Sharon was having a good time, too. It may have even been Sharon that looked over at me and said something like, "Am I talking to Roy, here?" I may have responded with "Yeah...is Roy fun to be around?," to which she allowed a playful "Maybe..."

As further evidence of wisdom through age (and, perhaps, fatherhood), I capped it at four and rounded out a splendid evening.

Employing Star Wars' "Imperial Empire Theory" of Management

from an article in today's Star-Tribune.

Criticized by some in the past for being hesitant to address the company's problems, Ford management seemed to deliver on that reputation for tentativeness Monday by not naming all of the plants it will close. The hesitation leaves thousands of workers in a fog about their future rather than committed to a new set of goals.
...
Mark Fields, head of Ford's North and South American auto division, was quoted in the Wall Street Journal as saying he wants to create "a sense of crisis, but not panic," arguing that Ford workers will find motivation in fear.

Good God. On a side note, I wonder what the odds are that Mark fucking Fields and his friends are "Bush Pioneers." Ironically, and sadly, I wonder how many of these shit-upon union workers have abandoned their union roots to vote for the tough-guy Republican party: the party of the American Dream (for about 2% of the population).

Battle Cry

Anyone got a favorite phrase they'd scream out when charging into battle?

I'm torn between:

"Moribund the Burgermeister!!!"

or

"Bron-Yr-Aur!!!!

Well, It's Official: Gibbsy is Out

According to T-Clog, we all got an email last night (which I haven't yet seen). Gibbs is apparently giving official word that he's out for next summer, while being a bit characteristically cryptic in his reasons.

To his credit, it sounds as though he doesn't want this to drag on like last year, for which he may feel a little guilt. Against his credit, from my standpoint anyway, is that it appears clear that this trip has simply not been even close to the priority for him that it has been for us. I just don't understand it. When I consider various things such as my age (35 with arguably fewer "prime of my life" days in front of me than behind me), and the geographic distribution of my friends (getting together once or twice a year takes some finagling; a trip like this can only happen every five years or so, tops), it can't help but to rise to the very top echelon of my dreams for this coming year. But the man has spoken.

It seems kind of crazy, considering it was his participation in a college class & getting this Escalante adventure book from it that initially spurred on this interest. But getting this word early on in the game can hopefully free us up, from a planning and logistical standpoint (e.g. less schedules to consider, earlier & better idea of rental/gas costs we're likely to incur, and easier & better understanding of our various responsibilities).

Moving on...

Cory: expedition planner (where we go, where we camp, timing of it all, considerations such as temp, rain, flooding, wilde beastes)
Dan: logistics of getting there (timing, vehicle rental), coordination of gear
PMix: getting self to Midwest, meal planning (though Dan secures foodstuffs)

Wingin', Just a Bit

I'm trying to grow my hair out really long over the top & front, ala Professor Snape or the kid from Thumbsucker. But there's a really kind of crazy middle ground, before you can tuck your hair behind your ears. Aaron claims to have had to wear a baseball hat for about a year before he could pull it off. I don't have that luxury at Big Buy (business casual), so things might get a little ugly in the meantime. The hair that grows over my left ear also has this tendency to sort of *wing out* just a little. More pictures to follow as the experiment warrants.

A Record High Here Today

That's right, I have a new highest score in my BeerAdvocacy. It's the Samuel Adams Holiday Porter (and my review should be at or near the top). It's a kind of weird situation, since (as I explain in the review) I'm giving it high scores partially due to understanding what they were going for, rather than judging purely on personal taste. The beer I've flat out enjoyed the most so far is the plain ol' Sam Adams Boston Lager, for which I haven't yet posted a review. I am up to 9 reviews, though, and so moving through my personal world tour at a respectable clip.

Dan Speaks Out Again

The Danphoenix rises again from the ashes to offer forth more words on Escalante before disappearing once more into flame:

Noted on T-Clog's refusal to get trekking poles. Indeed, I remembered one of the things we had talked about early on, and which we should maybe return to; which is the idea of this trip more as a retreat into one of the world's most peaceful and beautiful places, rather than a test of our physical limits. Some of us have a tendency to turn most the most ordinary of backpacking trips into an homage to the Bataan Death March, but I think could benefit greatly from resisting that urge more often. Not only is there the obvious issue of not indulging one's self in the environment, there's also the reality that we simply cannot assume that we'll all be in the same physical condition when we get together.

I'm back on board with the idea of backpacking to a "base camp" sort of place in a day or day & a half and doing day hikes from there (which would mean packing along a day pack for toting lunches, water bottles, field guides, etc.).

The Health Coalescence

So, this post is sort of the coalescence of a number of other posts & thoughts I've had over the past number of months. It is about health and how aspects of my lifestyle need to be changed in order to better it.

1. Fitness: I was sure I had made a post on it recently, but couldn't find one; maybe I've just been thinking about it a lot. I've had a sort of "wake-up" moment regarding my level of fitness. I've always considered myself relatively fit and active. Well, I'm not sure the evidence of the past few years (or more) really bears that out. In the same way some people might get a lot of"mileage" out of, say, a single trip to France; others (like me) might get an awful lot of "mileage" out of a single, relatively brief fitness training period per year. In recent years (and maybe before that), I usually have one or two long distance running event during the course of the year that demands a very intense training program, but in the big scheme of things, it's only a small portion of the year (12 weeks for my standard 25k trail run, but a paltry, condensed seven-week training period last year). Seven to 12 weeks out of 52 in a year? Granted, there are certainly runs I am going on for the rest of the year, but my commitment to keeping that regular and sustained is just not there. Considering most health experts recommend three to four 30-minute cardiovascular workouts a week, it's time for me to stop getting "mileage" out of my narrow window of regular running and commit to regular activity and fitness for the long term. So far, so good this year. I am going out for short (1 1/2 to 2 mile) runs, which seem surprisingly long (they're not all that tough, but when you only set out for a run that short it seems to take an amazingly long time), in an attempt to embark upon something that won't burn me out, can fit into my schedule, and do all the other things that are the recipe for something I can stick with, long-term. right now, I either run during lunch at work or after Lucy goes down on my "off-Lucy" nights. My runs around home are limited to more or less straight north, as I just don't think it would be all that safe to take to the trails after dark. As the weather changes (and the sun stays out longer), I'd like to mix in trail running, biking, and some other cross training to keep it interesting. Also, Sharon & I are going to try to incorporate a family hike on Sunday afternoons. A brisk, long one; it's time for me to stop being a running dick and stop poo-poo-ing the good health effects of walking.

2: Diet: I've actually made strides in this in the past few years. Since Lucy's been born, we have been buying a lot of natural, un-processed foods. But it was only recently, when I finally read up on the science behind fat & cholesterol (detailed in a recent post), that I really comitted to an extra effort in avoiding empty carbs, hydrogenized foods, and excess sweets. That stuff freaks me out enough now that I think this is going to be one that I can really stick with. My major issues in the realm of diet remain 1) the "binge," particularly those that occur late at night, and with peanut butter 2) overeating at supper. There are other things that I could tweak (more but smaller meals, a little more vegetable matter) down the line, but I think if I get those two major ones under control, I'll be in pretty good shape. Oh yeah, there's the coffee thing, too. That's one of my resolutions, so I won't dwell on it here. But other things, like pop at mealtime, has already made a significant decline in light of my new strides in avoiding the bad stuff. I plan to continue to have a beer about two out of every three nights-a good things in many health respects, but certainly a lot of empty calories (don't even say "light beer" to me). That is something I truly, truly enjoy and really want as part of my lifestyle, and so will just have to be compensated for by my fitness. Nothing like a nice beer as a reward for a day where you've done the right thing at meals & in excercise.

3. Stress: This is related to health. Since it's only fairly recently recognized as such by the medical community, I think we may someday discover that it's far more influential than we currently know. Sometimes I think I'm good at letting stress roll off my back, and sometimes I think I let it consume me. Truth is, I just can't get in other people's heads, so I really don't know how I compare. I worry and overanalyze things, but I'm also really good at living for the moment and putting all my concerns on the shelf when I am engaged in an activity. I think resolving some of the unresolved issues my family faces (also part resolution project) will help in this area, as will continuing to indulge myself in those things that I enjoy will allow me to manage this.

Dan Speaks out on Escalante

I'm speaking out on gear.

First, Raincoats: I think I've mentioned that I've been considering an upgrade on raincoat for some time. I've been using a jacket I got (Columbia, but a good, top-of-the-line one) in 1996, just prior to my trip to Paraguay. It has since gone through use in every camping trip on which I've been in the past 10 years, as well as being my winter-coat overlayer (over an REI fleece). It has holes burned in the sleeves from embers during long-forgotten February freeze-offs, is down to a zipper stub (easily worth replacing -if the jacket was a lot more new & functional), and no longer holds a waterproof treatment. It work OK-but only OK during the Mixdorf/Dan rain romp on Maine's coast, with its current inability to shed water combined with a lack of pit zippers & adequate ventilation (always an issue with this coat) it pretty much performs an "anti-wick;"inviting rain in to mix with the sweat that can't get out.

I finally went for it and got a really nice Marmot raincoat. T-Clog will appreciate the fact that I tried the model on at REI, then went for the same thing, but $25 cheaper at Campmor. Here it is:
"Angel Wing" feature under the arms to allow for natural movement. Breathable. Waterproof. Pit (and other) zippers for ventilation. Marmot reputation. It's awesome and I can't wait to use it.









Next, Trail Pad: So, I've got the same (or very similar) trail pad that we all do-the eggshell foam thing. I'm just going to say it: I haven't had a comfortable night's sleep on a camping trip for about six years. For a guy that likes to think he's pretty decent at "roughing it" and who once went about a half year sleeping only on a trail pad at Johnson Street, it was a little tough to first recognize, and then admit; but the simple fact is that as my body ages, it is less and less capable of finding sleep on hard surfaces comfy. And I don't want to "rough it." I want to have a wonderful, comfortable sleep out in the wilds. A luxurious sleep listening to night sounds, and eventual luxurious, drawn-out waking, listening to morning sounds. I'm going to invest the $40-$50 in a self-inflatable matress (trail pad variety, obviously; not "twin-sized"). I would highly recommend everyone else going on this trip and planning to sleep on rock do the same.

Next, Head Lamp: I may end up being the only guy without one of those headlamps (around $35, right?). I plan to get one of those headbands that can hold a mag-lite. I would like to have a nice, fresh new bulb for the maggie, though.

Next, Dishes: Seems like it would be a cool idea for us all to have the same dish/cup. That way, they could stack together for packing. Considering we'll all be toting 1 1/2 gallons of water apiece, it would be nice to conserve space in that way. Thoughts?

Next, Trekking Poles: Clogger, I'd still really recommend this. I know Target has these for under $30. I love mine-you know what they say, "Once trek, never back."

Other thoughts?

Behold! The Trumpeter Swans!

Sharon had meant for some time to get us all up to this interesting little "park" area in Monticello. It's about four miles downstream of a power plant, where the river never freezes over (erg...that park kind of freaks me out), that a resident began feeding a breeding pair or two of trumpeter swans (the enormous, six-foot from beak to end of feet all white kind). They came back for more and brought friends, as well as all their cousins (Canada geese, mallards, goldeneyes, coots, and mergansers) until the regular flock grew to hundreds (up to 900 swans frequent the place according to a recent DNR count). Of course, the cost of food & so on got completely out of control; I guess she gets an enormous grant to keep it up, and now puts the food on a conveyor belt to cart it out to the banks of the river. Not sure how the racket sits with the neighbors, but the city of Monticello has turned the place into a little public access point to the river with an observation deck. A multitude of camera toting folks were there alongside us. My camera was put to shame, but I got a few shots that could pass for chronologically following some swans through their flight in, landing, feeding, and display.




























































I think these birds are the largest in North America, outside of the condor. For more information on this place and these amazing creatures, check out the brochure. Most interesting fact, I thought: they weight between 20-30 lbs. That's 4-6 times the weight of a large Great Horned Owl. Crimney, how do they get into the air using only feathers?!

I Would Let Her Bear the Ring, Yes I Would...

To summarize discussions of well over a year ago with Mixdorf and one just this morning with Cory; of all the people I know, I would trust Sharon to go into the very shadow of Mordor (where the shadows lie), bearing the ring. To her, alone, I would entrust the task of carrying the ring up the mountain and casting it into the fire.

But I would not want her as captain of my starship.

Well, I'm a Wonk

I'm sitting here, listening to the Samuel Alito hearings. Every time NPR says, "We'll return to the hearings in a little while" I'm thinking that they can't return soon enough. I can listen to this shit all day.

On a side note, I'm finding it repeatedly disheartening and enlightening, over the past few years, to really see how weasely & questionably-motivated folks can truly rise to the highest levels of "public service" in this country. These folks are not always all that respectable. That part is obvious. But, more surprisingly, they don't always appear to be all that much more knowledgable and well-thought-out on issues than me & my friends, considering the obvious advantage of being in the midst of thsee issues by virtue of their careers. Potentially a followup post or posts to this down the line...