Anyone who knows poor Kuña-i's history knows that we are in for thousands of dollars over years of slipped disks, gastrointestinal oddities, kidney failure, glaucoma, & other ailments far too numerous to recall at this time. From the sweetest, most vibrant dog in the world; we have seen her descent to be a stumbling, blind, confused creature (if still sweet) of today that I am embarassed to say provides more annoyance than companionship.
Over the past few months, she has lost nearly 20 pounds and has a growing mass in her abdomen that we've recently begun having checked out. As is the norm with our dog diagosi, the $450 blood test & ultrasound combo was not entirely conclusive, but what we know are this: it is either cancerous or intestinal adhesions, and if something isn't done (surgery wise), she will starve to death. Of course, in classic Kuña-i tradition, we have no way of knowing if the surgery will be a success (again, they don't even know what it is). And Kuña-i is no spring chicken-nearly 12 years old, we figure.
Danny's choice.
Sharon & I have planned a discussion tonight, but in a sudden bout of conviction that surprised myself, I think I am on the road to deciding. We do the surgery. There's no way to perform a proper "cost-benefit analysis." It's a shot in the dark; a philosophical one and, for me, a moral one. What it comes down to for me is this: I do a lot of talk about integrity and sticking to my guns and honor. Talk is cheap, but what do you do for the ones you care about when the chips are down? As for me, I will refuse to put a dollar value on my loved ones, four-legged or otherwise, and I will march, true to my principles, down the road that ends in the parking lot of the Poor House.
I do want to still have a conversation with our vet and sort of talk about Kuña-i's overall health outlook, but I think my path is set. This is not to say my dog's quality of life could not, due to other circumstances, deteriorate to the point where we have to make a merciful and difficult decision to put her down-someday even maybe even the near future. But it will be a decision based on her best interests, not financial sense.
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2 comments:
I think that honor and integrity are a double edge sword in this matter. I also think it has nothing to do with money. When I said cost-benefit in my e-mail, my costs were intended to include far more than the dollar value.
The Kuña-i I saw when I visited was not a dog without hope. Quite the contrary. She wagged her tail, responded very positively to the sound of voices and seemed generally ok with her lot in life. Based simply on that, I would certainly encourage you to not give up on her.
When Mia was at her end, she was not responding to voices or seemingly enjoying life in any way. She too had lost weight and nothing seemed to improve her situation, including having her teeth removed, to the tune of $600. Her teeth were nasty and we though perhaps they were the main source of her problems. We also had bloodwork done and there was something wrong with her kidneys, though that too may have been the result of digesting the rot from her teeth.
Nothing seemed to matter, and the choice came down to continuing the search for a cause that might never be known, on a dog that seemed to have no joy for life, or letting her go. As I have said many times, no decision I have ever made was so hard. Tears flowed freely and for a long time, but I don't regret the decision.
The frustrating thing with Kuña-i is that you're only option seems to be surgery but no one is sure what the problem is. What could they do TO know? Or is it all just a shot in the dark?
I don't think that it's dishonorable to withhold the surgery until all other options are exhausted. It's not being cheap - you wouldn't subject yourself to such things without knowing what the hell was going on - you'd have a biopsy or any of various other treatments. There's no dishonor in treating Kuña-i in the same way that you'd treat yourself.
You'd do anything to provide a healthy life for Kuña-i or any of your loved ones. Of that, I have no doubt, but that does not limit your choices. Making one difficult choice over another based on best intentions and careful reasoning can never be seen as the easy way out.
Well, we know there's a mass in her abdomen and it's preventing her from eating/eating much/keeping food down. One way or the other-whether cancerous or just fucked up intestines, it needs removed. So we are definitely at that crossroads of knowing what, if anything, needs done. Whether it will solve the problem 100% we don't know-but if it's cancer, it doesn't appear to have spread anywhere else yet.
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