Don't Get Me Wrong...

The girl can get mad.

She's always had the capability of getting really mad-in the earlier times (and still), not being understood, one way or the other, is something that would set her off. "Tantrums," if you could even call them that, were very short outbursts quickly passed & gone. More recently, however, these episodes have seemed to grow in frequency and somewhat in duration. I think it has to do with some of the earliest comprehension of herself as an individual. She's exploring boundaries-how far she can push for independence, what is appropriate and what is not appropriate, what works and doesn't work in getting what she wants, etc. And, of course, her little head is processing things in a way that Sharon & I can't truly understand.

So, if not getting what she wants sets her off, she stiffens up and wants to fling herself back onto the floor. Unfortunately, her personal safety is not foremost on her mind at those times, and so we're trying to strike the balance between giving her the space she needs and making sure her head doesn't smack into the hardwood floor. Other than that-we let her know that we understand what she wants (and take it seriously-even if it's just something like wanting to wear snowman socks), let her know we'll be there when she's ready, and then just back the hell off.

I have no basis of comparison, so I don't know how to gague the intensity or frequency of the outbursts, but in reading I have trusted, the tantrum is a pressure-valve release-an absolutely necessary method of releasing various stresses and offering some relief from the pressure of all that new learning & processing. People like us can go for a run, zone in front of a TV, smoke a cigarette, meditate, listen to music, or do whatever works for us. Toddlers, of course, don't make conscious decisions on how to attend to their mental health. The tantrum is the answer.

It's hard not to take it personally and wonder if you're doing something wrong (or, worse yet, start that bane of parenthood-wondering if the behavior is "normal"), but the happy, curious, hilarious child that we get in between is definitely a cure-all for all those worries.

Anyway-lest from my blogging anyone think I'm trying to give the impression our household is a nonstop bucket of laughs...unfortunately, only most of the time.