Daniel in the Lion's Den

So, in the earliest days of this journal, I said one of my goals was to use it as a forum to discuss controversial and weighty topics-and there is one which, at this time, is weighing down on us like a Packer Tailgate Party on Jupiter.

It gets bandied about & touched on from time to time-including currently in a flurry of comments to Mixdorf's last post, but never truly resolved; and it is this: Cory, it must seem at times like we're out to get you on this whole religious thing.

Every time you offer up something from your Christian perspective, it must seem like we have a cynical, angry, or snide response. I think where the whole thing originates is that you have definitely been going down a road, religion-wise, that has taken you far, far from where you were a number of years back. I'm not saying you didn't have similar beliefs then, but it's the regular day-to-day influence of your church & religion on you that puts a lot of things in a slightly to very different context.

Your response to much of what you encounter & experience has become a religious one, which is very different than the humanistic response of PMix & me. We have been going down a different road these last few years and, from our perspective, much of the trouble in the world; from terrorism to domestic intolerance to people voting in elections against their best interests (which results in worldwide harm on a scale it is tough to comprehend) is as a direct result of people's religious beliefs. Not religion itself, mind you: it's similar to the "guns don't hurt people but people do" argument. It's the failings of people (accidental and otherwise) in interpretation of texts and teachings that causes the problems. In addition, the practice of attributing complex or difficult things to the supernatural dimininishes our society's ability and willingness to find human solutions to our problems.

The final puzzle piece of Mixdorf's & my concern over seeing a friend become ever more deeply involved with (it seems) evangelical activities is the witness we bore to the effect it had on my brother (now known as "The Fall of Kick Ass)." He was always a square, but it turned him into a square stick in the mud.

Please understand that I have known a few people (and known of a lot more) that are true credits to the Christian faith. And I do believe that more positive change can occur within the church than from without. But we need warriors for this battle, good and true. I simply ask you to proceed through sermons and Bible studies and other such experiences with a questioning, logical, and ecological heart. You will encounter many, many people in that journey who will (though they say otherwise) act like they have the answers. They don't. Truly ask "What Would Jesus Do?" And not the flaxen-haired abstinence-rally-attending Jesus, the real one. We love you, and we just want to make sure that, as we continue down our road of intellectual curiosity & exploration, we don't lose our traveling partner.

Good Gracious!

Whoever said that Moss Eisley was the most rotten hive of scum and villany in the galaxy hasn't peeked in on a Yahoo! news story discussion board lately.

www.yourmusic.com

Well, I went back and forth on this, and finally took the plunge. The inventory is not as large or diverse as I would like, but as there is a complete an exhaustive discography for some artists (Paul Simon, Led Zepplin) and an absolute dearth for others (Donovan, Bob Dylan), I believe they are in the process of building up the service.

Think of it like Netflix, but instead of DVDs it's music CDs. And instead of renting, you're buying. You create a queue, and they automatically send you a disc once a month for-get this-$5.99 including shipping. It's nuts. Like I said, the selection does not afford you the opportunity to experiment with truly independent artists and other such obscure fare, but as long as there are albums in the mainstream realm you still want, it's a deal that seems to be absolutely unbeatable. The way I'm going to work it (using my one new album-per-paycheck system) is to let them ship me the next album in my queue each month, and experiment with artists not available through yourmusic on the off-week cycle.

My current queue:

Paul Simon Hearts And Bones (Expanded & Remastered)
This album is being prepared for shipment. ( In-stock items usually ship within 72 hours of Your Music Date. )

The Who Tommy (Remastered)
09/29/05

Willie Nelson Yesterday's Wine (Remastered)
10/29/05

Beck Odelay
11/29/05

Led Zeppelin Houses Of The Holy (Remastered)
12/29/05

Paul Simon One Trick Pony (Expanded & Remastered)
01/29/06

Willie Nelson Shotgun Willie

Anyway, happy to make a recommendation on what seems to be a great deal. Check it out.

Movie Recommendation: The Shootist

John Wayne (in his final film)
Lauren Bacall
Ron Howard
James Stewart
Harry Morgan
Hugh O'Brian

A character study, actually. John Wayne plays an aging gunfighter (a term, you learn in a special feature, which was actually not used in "the day;" hence, The Shootist) who learns he is terminally ill and seeks a quiet place to live out his days. Trouble follows him there, of course.

Anyway, some really good performances and a nice twist on the classic Western. I rented the movie thinking it would be one Sharon wouldn't particularly care to see and which I could watch after she went to bed. She was in & out of the room and taking care of some things before hitting the sack, but slowly got kind of sucked in. Though she knows who John Wayne is, she didn't really understand his status in the pantheon of American cinema. I was sort of trying to explain that; and also trying to explain how the genre of Western, which on the surface is essentially different variations of the same movie, warrants its own status as a uniquely American art form. Then it struck me-The Aristocrats. That movie, if you know or recall, is about two hours of every comedian under the sun telling the same vulgar joke, but with each one doing it in their own style, adding their own art and just going with it. I have not seen that movie but I defniitely plan to. It's all about admiration of the craft. and is very analagous to the craft of The Western (that of the directors such as George Siegel & John Ford, and the delivery of actors such as Wayne, Gary Cooper, or Randolph Scott).

Caution: Harry Potter Spoiler!

So, I pulled a "Mixdorf." I read the 700+ page Half-Blood Prince, starting on Sunday and finishing last night. While I have said that I like the series a lot, I have claimed to maybe be not quite the fan that some of my closest friends & associates are. But, man, I sure do get glued to those suckers when I read through them.

My random ruminations, following the HBP:
- What an amazing, amazing kid Harry is (in a non-magical sense, that is)
- I think one of the things that makes me think I like the series a little less than some people is that I really do get annoyed at some of the lack of depth of some characters and the repeating themes (OK, do we really believe that Hermione's going to still raise her hand first in every class and that Ron's going to still pester her about it, etc.).
- Good Lord, these last couple of books have been dark & heavy. Not sure I would want Lucy reading this before she's at least 10 or so, unless I really, really get the sense she's ready to handle the weight of some of the seriously bad shit that goes on in there.
- Related to the last couple of items-seems like Rowling can't really decide whether she wants this to be children's literature or not. Sometimes obvious & somewhat shallow humour, as well as the shallow characters can be attributed as being very enjoyable for kids (especialy with respect to how lots of them view adults), but with the adult sort of themes that I spoke to in my last point-I just don't know. Seems like a little bit of trying to have it both ways. * Sigh * maybe I'm just out of touch with respect to how desensitized most kids are these days. But I had a distinctly similar feeling while reading various books of the Redwall series (of which only the first I would truly, truly recommend). Cute little anthropomorphic animal characters making mincemeat of each other in bloody battles, throughout.
- Really interesting buildup in the book. To date, neither Harry nor Dumbledore had ever been wrong in their suspicions, and it was interesting reading to know that ultimately someone would be wrong on Snape.
- God DAMN Snape! God DAMN him to Hell! He's definitely not going to survive this series, and I think it's probably You-Know-Who who's going to do him in in a final act of treachery (ala the Teacher killing that servant guy in DaVinci Code). He reminds me of a terrorist-he had what looks to be a miserable childhood with lots of things working against him, but that's no excuse for going bad.
- Why does Harry have to break up with Ginny, if he's at least that close with Ron & Hermione. Not sure that's made clear. I would think Ginny could hook up with them and make it a four person team, going forward.
- Hard to believe that Snape got away from Buckbeak.
- Would like to see Firenze & maybe some of the other centaurs get involved. Though I realize they generally despize the wizarding world, it would be a little like, "The eagles are coming!"
- Not sure I'd want to be a Death Eater that runs into Harry next book.
- Kind of interesting the turn on Malfoy at the end. There's no reason to believe, up to that point, that there's a shred of good in him. Wonder if she (Rowling) has grand plans for him in the future, is just using him as an example of Voldemort's villany, or if she just wanted to sort of diminish him as a major player in the series.
- It's gonna be quite different, knowing what we know about Snape, reading through the books again someday. Holy shit. And, as much as we hate him-you gotta think he's one of the most powerful wizards around.
- How many Aurors are there? In the teens, in the hundreds, or what? Likewise, how many Death Eaters? They don't give you much of an idea of the scope of this war, but you definitely see the same characters, particularly on the good side, appearing over and over.
- Sirius & Dumbledore are gone, gone, gone, right?
- Any theories on who R.A.B. is?

A Simple Desultory Philharmonic (Or How I Have Robert McNamara'd Sharon & Lucy into Omission)

Yesterday was Sharon's & my eighth anniversary. With all the talk of politics, potential moves from my home, and artistic preferences, Sharon and Lucy definitely both get under-represented in this forum, relative to their actual importance in my day-to-day life.

I was thinking about that recently, too. I could have an entire blog devoted purely to the my observations of Lucy-both her development and also just the funny things she does & says every day. To read my blog, it would be easy to get the impression that I'm quite an uninvolved father, when in fact there is not almost never a waking moment she spends at home (with the exception of her bedtime ritual with Sharon every other night), when her influence is not pervasive in all that I do. It can be a little frustrating when I can't accomplish an agenda, but for the most part there is joy, love, and laughs.

As for Sharon, what can I say? Over the past 8 years of marriage (and-what-12 years since I've know her? Jesus...) she has been a better partner than I ever could have ever hoped for. As I have continued down a road of trying to find my place and simple preferences in this world, she has been by my side, curious and similarly questing for that which life has to teach us, endlessly supportive in my endeavors, rejoicing my (relatively few) differences with her, and diving with me headlong into exploring that for which we share a common interest. And finally, and perhaps most importantly, sharing a simple, common vision of what is good and right in the world. Thanks, my wife! I love you!!!!!!

On a side note, our celebration was improvised last night. Helen watched Lucy while we just headed to Uptown to see what was going. Our evening pretty much consisted of eating at a new Indian restaurant, then having tea and playing cribbage. We laughed about how our evening was the perfect model for the "5 Blind Men and the Elephant" tale. Depending on who you asked, here's what they could have said about our evening.

1. They ate foreign food in Uptown then hung out in Tea Room listening to trance & trip-hop music.
2. They went out for dinner at this expensive restaurant and then drank tea.
3. After dinner they drank tea and played cribbage, and were home before 10.
4. They drove their Kerry-Edwards bumper stickered Corolla to Uptown, ate Indian food, and drank English tea.
5. They drove their car to this trendy part of town, had dinner and drinks, and then drove home.
6. Before and after dinner, they walked at least a mile, pausing at one point to look in a runnin-apparel store.
and so on and so on...

There and Back Again (and I'm not talking Terre Haute)

In these troubled times, I turned to an old friend-The Hobbit. I read it in within the last week and, as a rumination, here are three lines (among many, many more, of course) that really struck me-perhaps made better within context, but I will only provide very brief excerpts:

1. (Bilbo, when lost in the dark depths of the Misty Mountains)
After a time, he felt for his pipe. It was not broken, and that was something. Then he feld for his pouch, and there was some tobacco in it, and that was something more.
(just a very small bit of excellent writing-how, in a world with an immense scale of events, he can draw out examples of how these quaint Hobbit folk really go for the simple pleasures. I love the image.)

2. (sung by the elves in Rivendell-actually, the entire song-many verses-really resonated with me, and I choose this particular one rather arbitrarily)
...Here grass is still growing,
And leaves are yet swinging,
The white water flowing,
The elves are yet singing
Come! Tra-la-la-lally!
Come back to the valley!
(what can I say, but "Zephyr?")

3. (spoken by Thorin on his death bed)
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
(pretty much sums up, in 19 words, everything that's wrong with that world, and our world)

Damn, Just a Few Months Too Late!

Boy, ever since the presidential election, GW & Co have just made one political misstep after another. I do believe that they are losing the hearts and minds of America. The various conservative mouthpieces are no longer putting a palatable spin on their adjenda. To middle-America, the concert of attacks launched against anyone who does not support the Republican administration now just seems radical & mean. The shift in power is neither a question of if nor when. There will be a massive upheaval in '06. The only thing I regret is that it does not co-incide with the next presidential election. Well, that & the fact that it will be our country's referendum on the current state of affairs, rather than a true populist revolution.

Haute Couteur

Well, I'm back, and the Juggernaut was a great host.

A lot can be misconstrued and misinterpreted through emails & phone conversation, so it was really nice to be able to see him in his current environment and get his life-vibe. I must say, I was really happy and somewhat surprised to see the contentment & peace he seems to have found with the city of Terre Haute. The work they've had done on the home is extraordinary and, while perhaps they don't have the financial power of equity they might have had before moving in, the man is living in what could easily be described (by someone like me, anyway) as a "dream house." Backed up against a woodsy area with an almost deafening (yet pleasingly so) sound of birds & cicadas, and with comfortable furnishings & amenities (including a Bathtub of the Gods, gas fireplace, tocatta(?) stone breakfast table, and TLOR-friendly HDTV), he has really managed to secure himself a homey, comfortable, and peaceful place in which to read, write, sing, dance, feast, or do any combination of the above.

Extraordinary were the number of hours during which I was cornered in various areas of the dwelling, having the specifics of the remodeling process explained. But it was all good, and there was drinking (of both local and English brews), watching ST, talking, breakfasting, supping, frisbee golfing (one round of which was entirely "Rohan-run"), hiking, playing with Molly (who was great), and studying Geography. Also, in a surprise, a little filming; of which I will say no more at this time.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Waterloo is not the bleak, amenity-free town we remember of our youth. City planners there (as well as in most other similarly-sized towns in this country) have discovered the necessity of biking paths; small pockets of the culturally-starved have created a need for a local funky coffee shop or two; and various other pieces of what people like us consider necessary for "quality of life" have come about in varying degrees, however small. It's just a matter of finding your little niches and exploiting them. Terre Haute was no exception. We got coffee at the "Java Haute," we explored the Dobbs Park Nature Center, I tasted a 6-draft-beer sampler at the historical restaurant, Maugers(sp?). Gibbs, I am happy to say, seems to have been exploiting them more than we might have guessed. Again, I was a little surprised to see how, in the time since working at the Tribune-Star, our friend is actually feeling a lot better about where he is, the decision he made in moving, and the future than we might have expected. Made a great weekend all the better.

On a side not, our dog is still around, still wagging and responsive. She's getting injected with 500ml of fluid a day, and crapping/pissing all over the floor every night.

Not Yet

Well, the advice we got from our vet and a few people who were familiar with the scenario of having to let a pet go was, "You'll know when..."

We had just finished a last consultation with our vet where we had overcome some final indecisiveness and made plans for a home visit for euthanasia the next morning at 9:00. However, when we got home, Kuña'i was about as waggy, energetic, and responsive as she had been for at least a week. She must have responded really well to the fluids we've been giving her for the past few days. And if we were going by the "we'll know when it's time" theory, we had a sudden and definite feeling that she was telling us it wasn't time yet. For many pets, suffering through some sort of painful illness (and of sound mind), you hear that they sort of reach a point where they decide they need to go, and they just sort of shut down. But our dog is such a difficult read (how do you know if her indifference and listlessness is just her dementia or weakness and toxicity). Even so, though, I swear we can get no indication at all she is in any kind of discomfort. And we don't want it to get to that point-so we're definitely not going to do anything aggressive, invasive, or that can't be administered at home in terms of medication, but we're just going to go for a few more days till it seems that she is not responding to the fluids we are giving her. At a first sign of any suffering, or a couple of days in which she just is not responsive, we will be ready to put her down.

It was definitely a weird night-we've had a very thorough sort of process of having our "last" of everything and making sure we were giving her a proper send-off. The timing was all planned-I was taking the day off today and Sharon was going to be busy with various friends over the next few days while I visited Terre Haute. But "our girl" had different plans, I guess. I'm feeling so much better-I think I was (since the diagnosis was so sudden) being overwhelmed and stressed out to the point where I didn't know if I was making an objective decision (about the "when" part). And Sharon was worse off than me. But I have a really collected and good (as good as one can feel in this situation, of course) feeling about how we're proceeding now. A few more days for Kuña'i to experience the simple pleasures of this life before we can let her go in peace.

On a side note-Cory called yesterday with some words of comfort related to heaven and knowing that she'd be waiting there. I definitely don't tend to think of "heaven"-related things in very specific or cut & dry terms, but I did have this thought concerning the place:

There is really no question as to whether all dogs go to heaven; for it to fit the definition of the place, we must assume that dogs are somehow part of it.

Tagged!

Ugh-one that's all about books. Am I alone in the fact that I rarely (like really rarely) buy books? I'm a library or loan-from-friends guy.

Nevertheless, I will attempt to answer the best I can:

Number of books I own:
I'm with Aaron; this is kind of a ridiculous question. I own books from my childhood, some textbooks, some field guides, some travel guide books, some philosophy-oriented books, and just a few works of fiction (most of which were inhereted from my my mom, who is one of the most prolific readers I have ever known).

Last book I bought: Goodnight, Groundhog! (for Lucy) That reminds me, lame children's literature is one of my great annoyances. There's sooo many wonderful books out there, that there's really no excuse for having crap in your child's collection. Anyone interested in a few recommendations, I'd be more than happy to pass them along.

books I am reading: Currently: Prairy Erth, by William Least Heat Moon and (once again-I know, I'm nuts) There And Back Again, a Hobbit's Tale.

Last book I read (and have finished): Does McElligot's Pool by Dr. Suess count?

Five Books that mean a lot to me: Lord of the Rings, Prairy Erth, Walden, The Lorax, and Guess How Much I Love You?

I've no one left to tag. I could tag Cory, but he neither reads nor is currently posting.

Loki

I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with Kuña-i and keep her as comfortable as possible without demanding too much effort on her part and without letting myself slip into a spiral of moroseness and dispair. Last night, I got another MST3K episode and a 6-pack of Scapegoat Pale Ale (good, this) and situated her next to me on the couch for a couple of hours. It was nice; our best times, whether spooning in bed or me napping with her chin on my shoulder, have always been long periods of simple skin-to-fur contact. Mix that in with some intermittant petting & scratching in her favorite places and some occasional utterances of "my girl" and "sweetie," and you have some of the moments I'll most remember & cherish.

They injected an entire liter of fluid into her yesterday, which was absorbed almost immediately. She definitely looks and feels better after those treatments, but the rate at which she is going through the fluid is extraordinary. It means she's not taking in much fluid or nutrients through other, preferable, sources. And nothing's getting processed by her kidneys-so many of the nutrients (especially potassium) that she takes in are just getting peed out. Sharon will administer 500 ml of injections over each of the next couple of days, and we will be taking her in to be euthanized Thursday morning.

Sharon & I are each planning to have a talk with her & make sure things aren't left unsaid. Well, a few things were left unsaid last night, as she got up midway through my teary-eyed delivery and walked away. I'm hoping her reaction was as a result of her dementia and not so much a message about my long-windedness. Anyway, finishing that talk will remain my highest priority in the remaining time.

Still Working on Cracking the Tea Equation

Still doesn't make sense that I don't like tea. I'm trying again, this time focusing on more traditional teas (Green Tea, Earl Grey, etc.), rather than the non-caffeinated herbal variety.

Do I have British roots or not? It's time to step up to the plate.

Green tea, as it so happens, is my first foray. It is steeping as I type.

A Bittersweet Weekend

So, as you have probably heard (since there are only two of you), Kuña-i was diagnosed on Friday with chronic kidney failure. Left untreated, she would die within a week; and with expensive, intensive treatment we could slow her descent for a month or two. Unless we have a change of plans following a visit to the vet today, we will be giving her fluids intravenously and making her as comfortable as possible until Thursday morning, when we are planning to have her put to sleep.

Although there's a lot of second-guessing and feelings of guilt, I'm pretty sure that I don't want to extend a period of watching her grow more listless and less responsive, constantly wondering & worrying whether or not she is suffering. She's pretty subdued right now, but she can get up and get around, doesn't seem to give an indication she is in pain, and is somewhat interested in what's going on around her. I'd really like her to be as much like herself as possible at the end-and I think the likelihood of that being the case diminishes the longer we wait.

This weekend, we canceled a few plans we had (though we went out for coffee both mornings-we just needed to recharge) and spent a lot of time around the house. We gave her a lot of attention and put a lot of time into a project where we are scanning all our favorite pictures of her through the years for an eventual online slideshow tribute, the link of which we will probably be sending out Thursday sometime (Sharon & I are taking off that day after sending Lucy to school). But the bittersweet highlight of the weekend was a trip out to "Lazy Lump Hill"-an odd, flat-topped field/park about a block from the house in Crystal, where we lived when first married. We used to picnic there on occasion and let Kuña-i run off some energy (once upon a time a 30+ mph runner, she once caught & dispatched a rabbit there at a dead run). Saturday evening the weather was perfect and our family went out for a last picinc. We just let Kuña-i wander around & she seemed to really enjoy sniffing about (old familiar & interesting smells, I hope). It was there where I first lost it-but I'm a guy for whom these sorts of cathartic moments are necessary. I'll probably have another one or two before Thursday, and maybe be ready to move on by the end of the week, when I am expected to head to Terre Haute for a weekender.

"What Was I Thinking?" (alternately titled "That Was the Dumbest Thing Ever"

I thought I had made a post along these lines in the past, but looking back through the archives, I cannot find any such thing.

I came across a very funny picture, circa 1994, taken from the basement of Johnson Street. The picture was intended to be of 44, but it was framed horribly, with the band at the very bottom of the picture, and the lone basement lighting fixture dominating the upper half. What made the photo so funny was that the light fixture was one of those old 60s/70s models with a non-grounded outlet extension right above the bulb itself. And every piece of electrical equipment (including three amplifiers and an 800-watt PA system) the band owned was routed through a series of low-capacity extension cords and their respective multiple slots until eventually ending up, after a tangled mess, being routed through the single recepticle on that fixture. Wow. I even recall a couple of visits by a Service Plus technician to work on our washer or dryer during which comments were made to the effect of "I don't like that...I don't like that at all..."

What were we thinking? Looking back between the years of 1993-1995, I can definitely extract numerous candidates for a list of stupidist things I've ever done, but I will try to look back over an even greater breadth of time and limit the list to 5:

(as always, in no particular order)
The "What Was I (Were We) Thinking List
1. The Extension Cord Monstrosity (above)
2. Wading tree-to-tree with Mixdorf & Gibbons through 3-4 feet of fast-moving Black Hawk Creek floodwaters for no reason whatsoever.
3. In college, and with Gibbons (a recurring figure in this list), attempting to teach ourselves martial arts by fighting in slow motion.
4. In college, choosing to pursue boom box tape recordings of 'Time Did Yank Us' songs rather than women.
5. With Gibbons, "backpacking" in Suomi Hills with a 30-gallon cooler, two grocery sacks, and an 'Academy Broadway' tent for which there were explicit instructions not to expose to direct sunlight.

Boy-that was fun. Reminiscing about past buffoonery is surely the best of times.

I could definitely see expanding on that list in the future...

How about anyone else-what are some of your favorite "What Was I Thinking" events?

My Strength! It Wanes.

Whether by forces mystical and ancient, or simply due to the stresses and pressures of urban life, I have been exhausted lately. I have a history of being able to operate on <6 hours of sleep for pretty much the entire work week-and since Lucy has come on the scene, without much of an opportunity to even catch up on weekends. It runs in my family. My dad could do it. My brothers do it. I do it. That is, until the visit of The Statesman & The Validectorian.

Suddenly, I'm zapped.

For the entire visit of Sharon's friend, Jen, and on through to last night, I have fallen asleep alongside Lucy on my nights to put her down. And on my off-nights, I can't seem to stay up past 10:00 or 10:30. Last night, when I happened to wake up in the middle of the night, I forced myself to head downstairs to read for an hour before going back to bed, just to give myself some sense that I can have some time to myself during which I am actualy awake. Man, I feel like I'm turning into Sharon.

Danny's Choice

Anyone who knows poor Kuña-i's history knows that we are in for thousands of dollars over years of slipped disks, gastrointestinal oddities, kidney failure, glaucoma, & other ailments far too numerous to recall at this time. From the sweetest, most vibrant dog in the world; we have seen her descent to be a stumbling, blind, confused creature (if still sweet) of today that I am embarassed to say provides more annoyance than companionship.

Over the past few months, she has lost nearly 20 pounds and has a growing mass in her abdomen that we've recently begun having checked out. As is the norm with our dog diagosi, the $450 blood test & ultrasound combo was not entirely conclusive, but what we know are this: it is either cancerous or intestinal adhesions, and if something isn't done (surgery wise), she will starve to death. Of course, in classic Kuña-i tradition, we have no way of knowing if the surgery will be a success (again, they don't even know what it is). And Kuña-i is no spring chicken-nearly 12 years old, we figure.

Danny's choice.

Sharon & I have planned a discussion tonight, but in a sudden bout of conviction that surprised myself, I think I am on the road to deciding. We do the surgery. There's no way to perform a proper "cost-benefit analysis." It's a shot in the dark; a philosophical one and, for me, a moral one. What it comes down to for me is this: I do a lot of talk about integrity and sticking to my guns and honor. Talk is cheap, but what do you do for the ones you care about when the chips are down? As for me, I will refuse to put a dollar value on my loved ones, four-legged or otherwise, and I will march, true to my principles, down the road that ends in the parking lot of the Poor House.

I do want to still have a conversation with our vet and sort of talk about Kuña-i's overall health outlook, but I think my path is set. This is not to say my dog's quality of life could not, due to other circumstances, deteriorate to the point where we have to make a merciful and difficult decision to put her down-someday even maybe even the near future. But it will be a decision based on her best interests, not financial sense.

DanTag

1. It's Dan's theory that one only has time to devote to 10 outside-of-work pursuits. What makes your list? This can be an idealized version of your life (e.g. pursuits in which you are interested but just haven't found the time or ambition to start).
2. What are the last five albums you bought? Are you just kind of buying albums on a whim these days or following any kind of overarching plan-such as exploring a genre or working your way through a backlog of albums you've wanted to buy for some time?
3. Everyone has an issue (at least one)-political or philosophical-that is kind of their personal baby. One on which they feel they have an enlightened view in a greater world that just either doesn't get it or doesn't care. Tell us about it-and attempt to be brief.
4. Prairie, mountains, woods, desert, lake, the sea. Which calls to you the most? Where would you most choose to reside? RANK THEM!
5. Guilty pleasure TV. Is there a show that would be condemned by your peers, but yet you find yourself watching it on a regular basis? Let's hear it.

No limit or minimum of people to tag. Send this to whomever you choose.
I will send this to the only two bloggers with whom I have any regular contact:
Aaron (in this case, just trying to get the fucker posting again in our lifetime)
Pat

My answers:
1. Top ten pursuits (in no particular order):
1. Family time (if I can group daddy-daughter, husband-wife, and whole family all together)
2. Friend time.
3. Movie/DVD/video watching.
4. Music making (including recording & performing)
5. Acting
6. Camping/backpacking
7. Running & general fitness
8. Reading (both for pleasure & to learn)
9. Travel
10. Various computer things-blogging/surfing/etc. Probably the least productive of the list
but reality.
2. Last five albums (most recent first) & "album plan":
1. Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, & Thyme-S&G
2. Led Zepplin II-Led Zepplin
3. The Tide-Lucy Kaplanski
4. 12 Golden Country Greats-Ween
5. The Ox that Pulls the Cart-LJ Booth
I'm in a mixture of exploring some insurgent country & some "acoustic-y" artists who've caught my ear during MPR's morning show, while attempting to make headway on a 10-15 year-old backlog of classic artists, which include S&G, Led Zepplin (see above), Donovan, The Who, & Jimi Hendrix. I'm back on my "album every (two-week) paycheck" schedule.
3. My personal political/philosophical baby. I have so many, I have to touch on two, but I'll try to be brief. #1 Political: People who vote against their best interest (e.g. Republican). Really, really mind-blowing when it comes to putting the interests of corporations above the welfare of human beings. #2 Religious: People, whom I've come to refer to as "philosophical hacks," who interpret their religion in such a way as to make life way more complicated and way less fun for everybody. Boy, that's a diplomatic way to put that.
4. I love 'em all. But here's the ranking:
1. Mountains. (majestic and powerful, stirring the heart of any adventurer-how can you beat
that?)
2. Prairie. (near & dear to my heart, rare, and with a sky that doesn't end)
3. Woods. (varied, mysterious, & teeming with life)
4. Lake. (refreshing, inviting, and no neighbors across the way)
5. Desert. (beautiful, serene, & sublime)
6. The sea (timeless & grand, but a lot closer to others' hearts than my own-I suspect)
5. Guilty pleasure TV:
Actually, I would consider myself pretty prone to this type of behavior, but we really watch so little TV these days that I don't currently have a show that would fit into this category. Years ago (early 90's?), when "Saved by the Bell" was in its first go-round, I often found myself, inexplicably, sitting and watching it. I think it was a combination of my work schedule (getting home right about that time), being exhausted after a day in the warehouse, mixed with a little morbid-"I can't believe how bad this is" curiousity that eventually morphed into some level of genuine interest in the superficial, unbelievable characters, and their insipid goings-on. Again, inexplicable-but I think having a combination of factors like that, leading to similar shameful viewings, is hardly unique in our society.

A Special 'Thank You' to The Statesman and The Validectorian

Much like Gibbons' visit of a couple of weeks ago, this last few days was both relatively predictable and thoroughly enjoyable. As is often discovered in these get-togethers, not a whole helluva lot changes. We are more aided by technology, and some minor dynamics change (a kind of volatile stage Lucy is working through was taking its toll on momma and I felt a little less free than I expected I might), but the cast of characters remain the same.

To recap...
Things that change:
- Life circumstances of those involved (marriages, children, jobs, places we live, income)
- More history from which to draw obcure references
- We eat better
- We drink higher quality beer
- Technology (e.g. watching episodes on the computer, ordering pizza online, engaging those not there via 'conference call')
Things that remain timeless:
- Buffoonery
- Silliness
- Basketball
- Non-Stop Excitement
Highlights of the long weekend:
- A stellar day of 96 degree frisbee golf, followed by a swim in Silver Lake, followed by football by the lake, followed by another dip in the lake
- Long-awaited TT commentary, which may be actually funnier than we thought it was at the time.
- A way-cool bike ride touring the area from Wirth Parkway to St. Anthony Main.
- High-quality beer.
- Experiencing a wonderful variety of tasteful while still managing to return to pizza for every other meal.
- Having Lucy meet and dig my friends.
Many many other enjoyable things occurred, as they will in nonstop excitement, and I am sure they will be recounted at a later date.

As Only I Can Do It (alternately titled "What Was I Thinking?")

There I was, at the beginning of the week, thinking that I'd make sure to go to bed at a reasonable hour during the week, to make sure I have a bit of "sleep capital" accrued before the visit of two friends. Also, I'd make sure to do a pretty deep straightening of the house, & organization of finances prior to the weekend.

Somehow, I found myself with very little of the house cleaning done, sitting on the couch last night at 1:56 am, watching a PBS documentary on the life of Bob Newhart.

Christ.