OK - a good & probably necessary discussion has made itself evident as a result of my recent post about Creating Into the Void and Mixdorf's response which, thankfully, did not end up being. "'Boo fuckin' hoo." Overall, I guess this post will be directed primarily at Mixx, with whom I've danced around this issue of feedback for a number of years, but others who count themselves among my friends can certainly take note...
Essentially, you are wary of offending with anything less than positive about a creation that is so personal to me. And if I could sum up a rebuttal in so few words myself, it would be simply:
If not you, who?
Ahh, such is the life of an artist yearning for feedback. It almost reminds me of those folks who, after the loss of a loved one, find that all their former friends are avoiding them as a result of not knowing exactly what to say. It's lonesome down here in Camden Studios, as the extent of my feedback truly comes from only Sharon & Pat G (Pat having experienced, through his career the same "wall of ambivalence," and willing to reciprocate the feedback and discussion over creation for which we both so yearn).
We've established that precise musical tastes are highly subjective, and I'm not going to see eye to eye with very many people in this huge world. But ultimately, if I'm ever going to do anything, music-wise (and Lord knows, I've not given up yet), I'm going to have to make music that will appeal to someone other than just myself and Mighty Tom. And it would be most helpful, somewhere along the line, to have other music fans hearing my stuff with objective and fresh ears, giving me their impressions and thoughts.
But on a more basic level (believe it or not) it's far more damaging to my self esteem to put my hopes and dreams into all the cords and mics and such and have it float off into the void without a bit of acknowledgement that it exists, than it is to hear "I'm sorry, but that one isn't doing it for me." I would assume that you wish all the luck and success for me in the world. As such, I would assume I can count you among my one of my supporters & backers and, dare I say, "fans?" I would like to think that is the case, whether you think all my stuff is great, or most of my stuff is just OK, or whatever. And, if you think I make nothing but Shit Sandwiches, I think our friendship can survive that.
On a side note - trying to crack the local club scene is a game for the young, and one I never could crack even when I was young. If something happens for me at this point, it's going to be as a result of either the right pair of ears hearing my music or some crazy grassroots wildfire, based on a particular song or two generating buzz around the internet. And while I'm hardly the guy to author a book on "how to be successful in a band," I know that either of these possbilities are highly more likely if they start with a dedicated group of supporters. I'm not asking anyone to give up a day job here, but if I could just ask you to listen to these early mixes of songs I'm making and IF (and only if) you feel that you can be honest with yourself in doing so ....spread the word! "Hey, a friend of mine is recording an album - I think this is a pretty good song. See what you think." Or something like that. I have a couple of ideas of how I'm going to try and promote myself when this thing is released, but only a couple. Over the years, the ol' fan base has shrunk to....well, apparently Sharon & Pat G (that's not exactly true - I can usually get a few people to come out when I play live). But still, I could use all the help I can get.
And if not you, who???
on a side side note: Indeed, you do not need a MySpace account to hear songs or read blog posts, only to comment. So if anyone wants to just listen, and occasionally check in, it's not necessary to say anything in that forum. (I may end up disabling comments on the MySpace blog, anyway, as a way of obscuring how small the "fan base" truly is...) If you want to send me some feedback, you can post it here...or even just send me an email. Anything to let me know that I'm not creating into the void.
http://www.myspace.com/danhylton (and I finished another rough mix - From July to April - and posted it just tonight)
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3 comments:
I just took a listen to July to April - wild to hear it again after all these YEARS - I will have to listen again but it sounds good -
the new blog look is cool
This was quite a post. I know it has long bothered you. I'm not sure if there IS a solution. And maybe that is OK. I feel, in general, the "friends" support each other. There are different interests and they rate with each other in proportion to the individual's own interests. I have thought, though not recently, that if I were a famous musician, that my dearest friends might be in the dressing room waiting for me, maybe even rolling their eyes, while I finish up. Equals in the back not fans out in front. The art firmly in second place to the friendship. I wonder if this is simply a universal truth. If one of the friends were interviewed, they would say great things about the musician and support them by "supporting them" not necessarily by buying their album or offering applause with the fans in front. I cannot expect the friends to do anything on behalf of an ambition at the expense of their own time and ambitions. It does happen sometimes and it is very nice, but unless the friend is "on board" in terms of a business or artistic relationship, perhaps it is best to let the friends be the friends in the back, waiting for their friend so that they may grab a beer together after the show.
I realize how much you desire the dear friends to dearly love the art, -thinking that because they are such great friends, surely they, of all peoples in the world, would love the art, and as "friends" they do, but as fans, that is simply more complicated and cannot be a requirement.
I have been and will always be one of your biggest fans. Before this July I was not able to go to myspace because of a block by the district. Same is true for youtube.
I will totally check out this mix and your site. I think that a great spot for your work might be in the CMC. The danger of too many blogs and web pages is that they don't get viewed often or not at all. Look at Bible Camp for example. I try to check this site and your photo blog at least once per day in the school year. But to check Dan's four or five blogs doesn't normally happen for me. Not because I don't care about what your working on or accomplishments, it's all about time management. I want to check my cubs, vikings, e-mail, Meth's blog, Steve's photo blog, etc.....
I hope that this sheds a little bit of light on why I don't always make an appearance on your works sites.
I value this opportunity to feed back to you a little bit of clog's thinking. Keep being that great artist that you are, and let's hear some Rainy Day Nights!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, MT. Thanks, Cory.
I guess it all depends on whether one's existence is affirmation-based, or if it's not. Probably steeped in environment, the home you grew up in and all that hoo-hah; but at this age (mid-30s), there may be no bridging the divide.
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