The Resolution Project

Per inspiration by Mixdorf, my recap of 2005 and hopes for 2006:

1. 3 Resolutions for 2006:

• Future: Residence Issue Resolved.
• Health: Be on regular cardiovascular schedule AND be eating right/in moderation.
• Art: Finish SECRET OF HIM.

2. Best Moment of 2005:

• Christmas celebration evening with Sharon & Lucy (a couple days before visiting Iowa). We sang (& played on guitar & piano) Christmas songs, put up some decorations, I read The Grinch. Just a wonderful, wonderful family moment.

3. Worst Moment of 2005:

• Death of my beloved doggie.

4. 2005 Remembered as the Year of the...

• ...unresolved decisions

Notes on the four:

#1: The ammended one is the second goal. I made a formerly very specific and limited health goal to one that is broader and incorporates a concert of lifestyle changes (e.g. "eating right" could include the switch from coffee to tea). I have some other goals of learning more about chess, learning more about art, learning more about beer, and watching buttloads of movies, but I'll stick with these three.

#2: This was really tough. Even exluding any sexually-related "moment" (which, honestly, we must all do), this comes down to whichever of a number of really good times happens to be at the forefront. Eating a TU Bar, Drinking Old Speckled Hen, and watching ST with Gibbons at Terre Vista Drive? Football, beer, & swimming afternoon with Mixxy & Cory? Right up there. Sitting on a rock by the shore of Lake Superior with Sharon & Lucy? Talk with Cory at Wikota Creek? Pancake breakfast the last morning we visited Zephyr? The moment I dropped out of college again? Hearing the news of Helen's & Shawn's adoption? Honeymooners performance? All strong candidates and I'm undoubtedly forgetting many more...

#3: Well this was the one and it probably wasn't even close; though, of course, it was one of those worst moments/best moments, as it was definitely part of a greater good.

#4: Unresolved decisions: where to live, as well as a couple of somewhat more private, family issues. Having not reached a "resolution" (ironic, eh?) on weighty life issues really influences much of all I seem to do. The whole "half a man" effect.

All in all, I can't say as I have many regrets from 2005; though I'm hopeful on my resolutions (in more ways than one), and excited for 2006. Happy New Year's to all!

Doing Good, Feeling Fine; I'm Gonna Live to Be 95!

In a classic French exchange, Mixdorf's & my last few posts have been tangentally related to one anothers' posts for the past couple of days. Thanks for the wonderful essay on locally-grown & non-bioengineered foods, PMix.

Part 1: Today's topic is about health, longevity, & quality of life; but specifically (and in relation to Mixdorf's post) about the stuff we put in our bodies. I'd gone along for a number of years confident in my general level of health, but always more or less trusting that my physical well-being was in top-notch condition due to my age, level of fitness (as an off-and-on runner and generally active individual), my leanness, and maybe some sort of genetic predisposition for health (though with diabetic family members and a grandfather that died of a heart attack, that belief may be somewhat misplaced). This sort of faith in those factors that were part of my natural lifestyle (e.g. didn't require any sort of change or uncomfortable effort on my part) carried me through college and quite a few beyond. I knew that cholesterol, fat, sugars, etc. were bad, but I always assumed that my intake was moderate enough and/or my positive traits & habits (above) would cancel out their negative effects. Especially after I became a vegetarian; surely, that alone would render all the rest of those concerns moot! I skated through many years without a worry.

Just a few years back, though, I started to have a little more consciousness about some of those heath factors I could control. Maybe it had to do with my dad's recurring skin tumors (I started using sunscreen, though not religiously), my personal weight gain of 20 lbs over my college weight (cutting down consciously on sweets), and so on. But I never really learned a whole lot about how all those health dangers were related. After Lucy was born, Sharon made the commitment to buy organic or at least natural groceries, shopping exclusively at the local co-op. It was something that we both were excited to do, for all the societal & ecological concerns that Mixdorf mentions. But even more of a reason to transition was to keep Lucy from getting all that unnatural crap in her body at an early age. Even if we couldn't adhere absolutely to a natural diet for ourselves, we were determined to provide that for Lucy. But I think my overall condition has improved in that time. Other than a clean bill of health at my latest checkup (blood pressure fine, "bad cholesterol" fine, etc.; though, curiously, "good cholesterol" level a little low, though-more on that later), it's been tough to gague the exact health benefits of my diet from the past couple of years; though I have had a distinct decrease in number of canker sores, a chronic affliction from which I have suffered all my life.

It all leads me to this. We've probably all tried out "longevity calculators" before; and most of them turn out to be seriously simplified and to suffer from the "well duh!" syndrome. But this particular one is by far the most comprehensive and meaningful one I've ever taken. Make sure you have the time to answer quite a number of questions, as well as the time to read the very informative discussion of your lifestyle afterwards. Things went very well for me in the test, though there are a few lifestyle changes I simply need to make. Most of them are things I already do, but I simply need to do them more consistently: sunscreen, regular exercise, better sleep habits, better job spacing out meals/eating, and switching from coffee to tea as a daily drink. Maybe this particular web tool won't be a motivator for anyone else in the way it was for me to make those last few changes we know we need to make but are afraid to; but I hope there is something in your lives that will be.

Part 2: Some of the information they gave regarding fats & cholesterol, as well as a concern over my low HDL ("good cholesterol") finally induced me to investigate the phenomenon more. How could that level be low if I'm a vegetarian, and how could I raise it? Well, I couldn't have designed a better answer in my wildest dreams.: consume more alcohol & peanut butter. A wonderful and quite funny answer, but I found some amazing truths & history behind it.

The medical community has known for quite some time that a drink or two of alcohol a day has myriad health benefits, but has generally agreed that doctors could never get away with specifically endorsing the consumption of alcohol due to the dangers of alcoholism & overconsumption of alcohol. But the history of fat in this country is interesting as well: to summarize, our country developed a saturated fat scare some time ago, and decided to start offering unsaturated fats as an alternative. Unfortunately, the unsaturated fats would get rancid after just a few days, so they created the process of "hydrogenization," which created an entirely new substance, far worse than saturated fats ever were: trans-fatty acids, which have the double boner of both decreasing "good" (HDL) cholesterol and increasing the "bad" (LDL). And the substance was so simple, cheap, and useful (how does this relate to, like, half the posts Mixdorf & me have about the corporatization of the world?), that these major food manufacturers realized they could put it in nearly everything. The result is entire generations of people in this country destined to grow up fat and be at a great risk for heart disease.

Never before have I been so commited to staying away from processed foods. Rather than a "nameless fear," I now know the facts behind hydrogenization. Who knows what yet uncovered dangers are lurking in our society's addiction to "nutrasweet" (what the hell?) and many other substitutes for natural ingredients? Sure, I'll have a lapse here and there, but I know what I need to do and why.

This is a post of links and links and links. So I will not seek out the link to the recent MPR story about a group of people in northern MN that agreed, for one year, to only buy products that were produced within 250 miles of where they lived (with just a few exceptions: coffee, salt, etc). But it was pretty cool. Benefits are that products locally produced are often in a more natural state, support local economies, and require less energy consumption due to the decreased need transportation. If you can incorporate this practice into your lifestyle in whatever measure is within your means, the effects are only good, good, good; for yourself and the rest of society.

OMB Lite and The Haunted World of Edward D. Wood

First things first: in a harsh dose of something, I consumed a can of Old Milwaukee's Best over Christmas weekend. The review is here.

Also, last night I saw one of the best-made documentaries I have ever seen. I rented The Haunted World of Edward D. Wood, Jr., about the man generally regarded as the worst commercial film director of all time. I believe that many of the amazing, interesting phenomena in this world are as the result of one kind or another of "perfect storms;" people and circumstances coming together in the only possible combination that would result in the unique event in question. This documentary is a perfect example of just one such phenomenon: the career and filmography of Wood. How did he get continued funding? How did he manage to assemble the players, some of them of some previous regard in the industry? The documentary is very obviously having fun with what, in reality, is a fairly tragic figure (Wood), through clever assembling of interview quotes from those who knew him, as well as scenes from his mind-blowingly bad films. But, somewhere in there, it manages to impart a touching sort of sentimentality (to me, anyway) with respect to all the people & projects involved.

Included on the disc is also the re-release of his first film ever: The Streets of Laredo. Definitely looking forward to that. Then, off to add Glen or Glenda? to the queue.

My Haul and Recap

With the somewhat vague request of "classy chess set," Sharon got me this awesome, hand-made set from Poland, with pieces based on the Staunton-design. I'm starting right out displaying it in my living room, risking the Lucy factor. I've just made it clear to her that, if she wants to touch a piece, she has to hold it gently, only set it down right-side-up (felt-lined on the bottom), and only touch one piece at a time, etc. She has remarkable self-control for a tot, so I trust her on this. Plus, I broke out the old chess set with faux-wooden pieces and partical-chessboard for Lucy's to have her own set and we played a few "matches" (she's learning horses can jump, pawns are tiny so they only move one square, etc.) One of the early matches ended with about six prime pieces on my knees (what you get for telling her a rook can "go anywhere in a straight line," etc).

Other than that, the most relaxing Christmas weekend in Waterloo in recent memory. The two other gifts I got was an item I already own (which is nothing new) from my brother, and a shirt (birthday present from my mom & dad), which is also nothing new. All that and a candle from Lucy. I shared a beer and some good laughs with Cory, stuffed myself at the 2nd annual family trip to Bishop's, enjoyed the candlelight service at my old church quite a bit, and (hopefully) made Christmas an experience of utmost wonder and joy for my little girl.

Everyone Else in Southpark

Thanks for a tip by Aaron on this fun one.

I decided to go with earlier versions for Gibbons & me, who may have had slightly more distinct and predictable appearances in their younger years...

Merry Christmas!

Travel Photo Candidates...

I'm going to be sending these photos to the Minneapolis Star Tribune for consideration in a weekend travel series where they will feature amateur photographers' candid shots of landscapes or locals. I can submit up to three. Hope you enjoy these possible candidates-any that anyone would recommend in particular?

Slide Show

3rd Favorite TV Series: Time-Life Infomercials!!!

Not sure when it started: was it the romantic collection being sold by that couple in front of the roaring fireplace where the lady pushes the man away and says, "These songs really bring out the animal in some people!" or was it "Freedom Rock?"

No matter; what matters is that they are Time-Life infomercials for collections of classic popular music, and I love them. Time-Life's dream customer? Hardly; I'm they're biggest nightmare. With not a chance in Hell that I will actually buy one of these multi-disc sets, I say, "screw four payments of $29.99!" What really fascinates me is this rare video footage that shows what these artists looked like in their original era & environment. Where did they get all this insanely interesting footage? How come there were all these videos that preceded MTV by, like, 10 years? How is this possible? And how can I find it? Nowhere, except at 12:30 a.m. on the WB.

Eight-year-old Michael Jackson; how beautiful, his physical features! Gilbert O'Sullivan, scarf-swaddled, afro-ed & looking for all the world like a despondent nephew of Dr. Who, just as you'd expect! Cheesy jokes from original episodes of Hee Haw or Dean Martin's Celebrity Roasts!! I can't get enough! I cycle through this shit until I'm seeing the same footage twice, still sitting criss-cross, applesauce and stuffing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into my face; hours until I need to be up for work well under six and still dwindling.

Just needed to get that all off my chest.

Be at Peace, My Girl

It is finally over. The vet and her assistant visited our home a little while ago, and Kuña-i was allowed to slip away peacefully on the couch, among loved ones.

It seems that, sensing something, she has been even more fargone the last couple of days since we made the decision-exhibiting a few behaviors that have been uncharacteristic for the dog that we've known all these years. We've spent the last couple of days giving her all the affection we could, and trying prepare Lucy as much as possible for the fact that there will no longer be a gentle, furry friend to receive her hugs and attention.

Today, we were crying throughout the procedure but it was an amazingly comforting feeling, at the end, to realize I wasn't feeling guilty at all about the decision; just sad. Unbelievably sad, but quite secure, finally, that we've absolutely made the right call. We had the opportunity to kiss and touch all our favorite warm and fuzzy places, assure her that she is and will always be loved, and send her gently into the soft and fading light.

Below is a slideshow we put together this last summer, when we originally thought she would not survive the week. Last night, I took and added a single photo at the end that may or may not give much indication of the extent of her physical decline over the last number of months.

Please take a moment to look through the years of joy with our amazing companion. Remembering my girl

Finally Near the End of the Line

We have finally reached the point where we feel putting Kuña-i down is in her best interests. We have continued to bear this enormous burden of 300 ml subqutaneous fluid injections twice a day (Sharon) and cleaning up poop and/or pee in the kitchen basically every morning after waking up and every night after returning home (me) since the end of summer, in addition to the expense of it all (>$300/month for fluids, boarding, bi-monthly bloodwork). Combining that with multiple rounds of sickness in our family as well as that crazy eight-day power outage and accompanying storm damage recovery has made for a very stressful fall.

And to some, it may seem crazy that we have hung onto this dog that is blind, senile, suffering from total kidney failure, and less than half her body weight of a year ago; like we've hung onto her far beyond what would have been an obvious decision to end it all this last August. Are we among that group of insane pet lovers that would see their own pet suffer rather than make the painful decision to let go? We've wrestled with that question constantly, but have, to this point, always come to the conclusion that we just simply cannot observe any obvious signs of suffering. Her quality of life has definitely been diminished-and it's been hard for us to watch this lovable, energetic creature become a slow-moving, "lost" thing that is generally unresponsive to our affection. A "sight hound" (that once could race at 35 mph and catch a rabbit on a dead run) that can no longer see or run? A cruel irony; but dogs (and people) do not generally get the dignity of going out gracefully. Through lack of protein intake (she's barely eating), her muscles have deteriorated to the point that she is beginning to have a lot of trouble going down the steps to the back landing, and sometimes quivers a bit while standing. She also has no bulk left to protect her from the winter air. And it is the beginnings of this actual, verifiable discomfort that has finally pushed us to make the difficult call. It feeds into the equation that we would like to preserve some amount of her dignity (before she gets to the point of doing things like defacating in her own bed), as well as (whether we wish to think this is part of the equation or not) the fact that we just can't keep this up and retain our sanity.

It also might seem kind of crazy that we're doing this just days before Christmas, but we are faced with either doing that, or putting her into boarding for three days, which we're not sure she could survive. I am hoping some of the fellowship and warmth following holiday season can help us to remember her better years. God, it's been getting harder and harder to do that, the more we have been living with this miserable, pitiful thing that was once so vital, strong, and joyful.

So, the vet will be visiting tomorrow at 11 am, and administer an injection at our home, so she can die peacefully in our company (also another reason to plan this rather than have her unexpectedly suffer and die alone). Not sure whether I will come back in after that. Sharon's going to take the entire day off-I'm leaning towards doing that, as well. In any event, look for the Kuña-i "My Girl" slide show commemoration to go out at some point tomorrow.

A Performance Long Overdue and Holiday Classics

A report on The Honeymooners' performance on Friday night: it went off great. We had a pretty big turnout and the songs seemed to go about as well as could have been expected. Biggest challenge was the busy hands and can't-help-himself attitude of a particular five-year-old nephew that couldn't stay away from our equipment, from tuners to mic stands (even in the midst of our songs). But he's at all my coffee-shop shows, and playing through that particular distraction is something to which I've grown somewhat accustomed.

People seemed to genuinely enjoy the music; and among a number of nice comments we got after the show, the best one came from the co-owner of the establishment, Phil, who remarked that it"...turned my day around. It was a really nice ending to a not-so-great beginning to the day" (referring, of course, to the robbery). We got a pretty decent recording of the performance, upon which I have already experimented with some nice track-splitting software I discovered (called CDwave). I think I may be finally ready to put to bed my fears of being a technically below average guitarist. I was not formally trained, and I think my lack of knowledge about notes & scales on the guitar, coupled with a reluctance to really do much in the way of finger-picking for many years, led to this lack of confidence. Fact is, there are plenty of things an accomplished finger-picker can do that I cannot; and there are plenty of things that the quintessential rock n' roll "lead guitarist" can do that I cannot. But through my 15 or so odd years of playing guitar, I have certainly developed my own style of play, that would be difficult for many other guitar players to duplicate. The guitar feels natural in my hands, and if there's something I want to make it do, I can usually make it co-operate (even if it maybe takes 15-20 "takes" to get a flawless guitar solo down for a recording).

On the second topic, I'd like to offer a quick report on some Holiday Classic viewing. As a little background, I recently checked out a three-episode set of a relatively unknown British comedy, "Father Ted," about these three Irish priests that serve on a barren, craggy, obscure Bristish isle; and their various misadventures. Very funny at times; enough so that I picked up the next set of episodes, this time a collection of two holiday-oriented ones under the title, "A Christmasy Ted." Got through most of the first one last night-very funny, though I started nodding off towards the end.

We also rented "Scrooged." I had never seen the movie, though Sharon had seen it in college, I think, and had put it on our "to rent" list long ago. We got through about 90% the other night before a meltdown by Lucy (who's feeling a little under-the-weather) sent me scrambling upstairs for the night. We'll finish it, but we were both quite mutually agreed that the movie (or Sharon, at least) had suffered from a fairly significant episode of what we refer to as the "Facts of Life Syndrome." Sharon had these very fond memories of watching, and enjoying, "The Facts of Life" as a youth, and received a reality shock when she had the opportunity of catching an episode as an adult and it was revealed to her as the crap it really was.

Other notables instances of "The Facts of Life" syndrome that we have experience: "The Superfriends," "Night Court," "Get Smart," (to a lesser extent) "Top Secret."

Those movies/shows that have, in defiance of my expectations, avoided the "FOLS:" "Heaven Can Wait," "The Andy Griffith Show."

Anyway-long and the short of it: there's a lot of really great holiday classics out there, and I do not number "Scrooged" among them. If you want a really great original version of "A Christmas Carol," I urge you to watch the George C. Scott version from 1984. Moments from this incredibly well-written and still very relevant story are brought to life on the screen in goosebump-raising fashion, including the overall message, as summarized by the ghost of Marley in these words:

Mankind should have been my business! The common welfare should have been my business!! Charity, mercy, forebearance, and benevolence all should have been my business!!"

Good stuff.

A Damper on the Christmas Season

Camden Coffee Company was robbed at gunpoint this morning, minutes before I got there. The new ownership has begun opening at 6:00 am; a couple of their friends alternate the early morning hours (pre-9:00), but there's not very many people that stop in before 7:30 or so-me being one of the regulars.

When I got there this morning at 6:15 (only by chance-it would have been earlier but I stopped to get cash), Chris (the guy who was working) unlocked the door to let me in. He said: "You'll never guess what just happened..." A guy had come in a few minutes earlier, pointed a gun at him, emptied the cash drawer and ordered him around the store while he searched various other places for loot. Chris was pretty freaked out-I stayed there till the cops came.

What a freaking bummer. It's not like you expect this sort of process going on in the head of the idiot-the fool-that would pull off something like this, but you just wonder how a person can not be thinking, "Hmm, what kind of neighborhood do I want to live in? Do I really want to drive the remaining few businesses away so that there's abandoned storefronts everywhere?" My theory has long held that even assholes don't want to live next door to other assholes (they would prefer to be the sole asshole), but how people can't then make the leap of logic to realize that we, in a community, are all connected-we all sink or swim together-is beyond my capacity to understand. It's things like this robbery that ultimately drives so many non-assholes to move away. What ends up left in blighted areas are poor people that can't afford to move out, and assholes; and people in more advantaged communities begin to confuse the two, and it becomes an ugly slope of flight-induced segregation.

Beyond my own home & family, the single institution I care most deeply about in my neighborhood is this coffee shop. I consider my regular and faithful patronage one of the best ways I have to contribute to my community, and I feel absolutely violated and furious. Interesting timing, too, as Sharon & I are doing our Honeymooners show there tonight. We are expecting a pretty large crowd to show, so maybe the owners can take some comfort in the solidarity. It probably wouldn't hurt if they started opening at 7:00 again, either.

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

Interesting-we checked this book out from the library. It's just a little long to read as a bedtime story for Lucy right now (a surprising 40 pages or so), but I can page through and extract the most relevant stuff from it and use a combination of actual text and my paraphrasing that is tailored to Lucy's vocabulary & understanding. It's a technique that I use often in simply interpreting the big wide world for her, and then sometimes in stories that are intended for older audiences. Sometimes this "filter" can extract simple and beautiful truths that are either hidden or, as I found out in the case of "The Grinch," right there in front of you but something you aren't totally taking in due to the various other things grabbing your attention.

As I've mentioned before, I've struggled a bit with how we're going to handle this "household with Christian heritage that is not technically Christian" thing for awhile, especially with respect to Lucy; and considering the degree to which we plan to celebrate the various holidays that have a Christian origin. Well, last night we got to the page where the Grinch at the top of a cliff, preparing to give the sleigh a final push over the edge, but pauses a moment to listen back to Whoville in hopes of hearing "boo hoo." A lot-an awful lot of things & concepts going on at that moment, but this is how I essentially broke it down for my girl.

Remember, Loo? The Grinch took all their presents and Christmas trees and decorations and lights and candles and Christmas treats. It was not OK, but he did it anyway, because he wanted them to be sad. He wants to push the sleigh off the hill so everything will get broken because he wants them to be sad. But know what he hears when he listens, Loo? He hears singing! They're not sad, they're happy! Even though they don't have presents and Christmas trees and everything, they're happy! Because Christmas is a birthday party for Jesus! Jesus had lots of great ideas-he said we should all love each other and that we should not fight and we should not do bad things to anybody. We think those were great ideas and so we like to have a big birthday party for Jesus, and be nice to each other, get happy and sing!

Something like that, anyway. The story was over a page or two later, and Lucy was left sitting there, staring at the book with her lips kind of mouthing silent words (something she often does while concentrating). I've never seen her sit for so long, trying to get her head around something. Finally, I broke the silence:

Me: That's a lot to think about, isn't it, Loo?

Lucy: (silence...long pause) "Yeah... (another long pause) Let's talk about it.

So that became the topic of "let's talk about it" for the night, last thing before sleeping. Anyway, very special moments, very special night.

Goodbye to Sandra Dee

As the result of a recent personal revelation, I have decided to finally address a major personal character flaw, head-on. I have this overriding tendency to focus on my differences with other people, rather than finding common ground. Whether this manifests itself in the interaction itself (less often), or has me feeling out of place and frustrated (more often), I can't help myself from feeling like I will not find peace unless I make others understand the "errors of their ways" and convert them to my way of thinking. What a futile and negative way to approach the rest of my fellow monkeys!

I am far, far overdue in realizing that there is really almost no benefit to it whatsoever. I don't need to change my opinions or worldview one iota; I simply need to put my energies towards changing the world for the better in constructive ways (influencing people through how I live my life, if that is meant to be; putting time & effort & money into causes in which I believe; talking with people who invite open, constructive dialogue). I've done this before-for years I think I've been very "non-militant" about my vegetarianism, realizing that (with most people) I am dealing with a non-bridgable gap and that our society isn't that close to being ready for that discussion. As a result of my actions (inactions?), I have piqued the curiousity of a number of people through the years, who happen to learn of my diet incidentally. And I have been involved with a surprisingly large number of fruitful discussions with people who are not even close to my way of thinking about it. I'm hoping I can apply that approach much more broadly, to the majority of my views.

I drank a Leiney's Creamy Dark last night. With it, I offer now a belated toast to my buddies: "Here's to a happier Dan!"

Let the Festivities Begin!

We've listened to a little Christmas music at home, gotten out a few decorations, and are a few days into the advent calendar; but things really kick into high gear tonight with our 3rd annual attendance of our neighborhood's Holiday on 44th celebration.

Far more activities than we can hope to squeeze into the one and a half or so hours we'll be there, but we'll try to make sure and squeeze in pony rides, marshmallow roasting, and at least one ethnic dance performance. In the list of activities is also the Camden Civic Theatre players, reprising roles from our Mississippi River event; however, I will not be among them, having chosen to attend the festivities as a patron as opposed to participant.

Also on tap for this weekend:
- The first official meeting of the Camden Civic Theatre.
- The putting up & decorating of the tree.

BITTER cold

Time for northern men to move from reds to stouts.

More Leisure...

Despite the leaden weights of "The Ethical Lifestyle" hanging from my hips, I continue to scale Maslow's Pyramid.

Contributed my second review to beeradvocate.com: Leiney's Red, which I liked better than their Honey Weiss (I'm in the midst of a sampler pack).

Also saw about the first 45 minutes of Donovan's Reef, a comedy directed by John Ford, starring John Wayne, I think I'm ready for my John Wayne break now. God, was that awful. Unwatchable in the most literal sense. Part of a dark sort of period in comedic history in which older generations thought they were being "wacky," but which leaves the modern viewer (this one, anyway) stone-faced and shivering.

Sort of a pattern here in unrecommended possessives:
Hawkin's Breed.
Donovan's Reef.

The Price of the "Ethical Lifestyle"

So, a new topic that I feel I'd better say a few words about before it gets out of control, the way things can when they are discussed in the etherworld, without all the benefits of a face to face discussion.

It must seem to some people like there's nothing that can escape my cynicism and ire. Don't I approve of anything? Isn't it depressing being so cynical and depressing all the time? Well, the answers are "yes, I do" and "yes it is."

From my perspective: Over the last number of years, I have gone to great, sometimes painful, lengths in an attempt to lead a lifestyle that is relatively socially/environmentally conscious. Striking the delicate balance between making as small an ecological footprint as possible, and still affording oneself the opportunity to lead a lifestyle that incorporates some of the luxuries and conveniences that are standard for the middle classes in America is not easy. Nor is it always fun. Consider the inconvenience of packing an extra, meat-free lunch for Lucy while other parents are getting their kids into school and getting the standard food program meal. Consider mowing your lawn twice (in addition to at half-speed) using a reel-mower. Consider not being able to purchase a needed household supply because you have decided not to buy anything that is obviously excessively packaged. Consider the extra expense of trying to avoid additives & preservatives in your food. Consider not being able to eat or drink entire, enormous categories of food (e.g. Kraft, Miller) because you are aware of their business practices and don't approve. Consider going to a restaurant and having it be a foregone conclusion that there will be two or less items available to you on the menu. Or worse, attending a mandatory work-sponsored meal event where there are none. Or not being able to just put your kid in bed for the night and enjoy yourself because you've made a committment to the "family bed." Or trying to clean up after poop and pee every night using a homemade mixture of vinegar, lemon juice, and tea tree oil because you refuse to buy bleach. Or not being able to use TV as a babysitter. Or having to wade through emails from a handful of environmental/political organizations every night trying to decide on which you might take some political action, because you'd feel like a hypocrite if you didn't at least read them. Or paying an extra $8 a month to ensure your electricity is wind-power. And on and on and on and fucking on.

Let me tell you, brother. The "ethical lifestyle" ain't all that easy. And very often, it's a pain in the fucking ass. And for what? Do I have any evidence that I've made a difference? Look at our government. Our world. And what sort of accolades & credit will I get? If I care to share my fringe beliefs with the world at large, I would, for the most part, face scorn, ostracization, and ridicule; as well as a reaction of "your shit doesn't stink," which appears to be the reaction I have finally elicited from my good friend, T-Clog.

I have generally tried to show similar restraint in these matters as I have (or hope to have) shown in not being all "militant" about my vegetarianism all these years. I have tried to share my beliefs & concerns about the world with my friends, without being all preachy. Maybe I've failed. But understand that, for all this blood, sweat, and tears, I don't have much of an outlet for this topic that takes an amazing amount of my time and effort. If I can't share my experiences with my friends, what have I got left?

Believe me that it is not my intent to shame, judge, or preach. Maybe to inform (though that sounds condescending-I only mean if there's something I feel really well-versed on) and share my own experiences.

Addicted to the Shuffle!

The iTunes version, that is. Not the dance.

A few times it has crossed my mind how a wild theme for an upcoming Coalescence issue would be a random 10 shuffle songs off one of our libraries. But, since themes are already in a line around the corner for my next few volumes, I decided it would be fun to just make a record of songs that come up, from time to time, during some of my shuffle ventures. So yesterday, I decided (obviously, with no prior knowledge of what would come up) to jot down the next 10.

Shuffle Volume 1
1. Steeplejack: Panning for Gold (one of only three good songs-the only three I loaded-from "Flywheel Sampler II"
2. Tiny Dancer: Elton John
3. Don't Give Up: Peter Gabriel
4. Typical Situation: Dave Matthews Band
5. Annabelle Wockingsword Lee: Pat and Dan
6. Howidied: Illyah Kuryahkin
7. Just the Same Way: Journey
8. Take it Easy: The Eagles
9. Edelweiss: The Captain and Maria
10. Am I Losing You?: Jim Reeves

Not too fuckin' shabby. I've said it before and I'll say it again; "It's like the best radio station in the universe!!!"

In the Wee Hours

The movies from my new attempt to use the Hennepin County Library as my personal, free, Netflix have begun to roll in. In combination with the wonderful Robbinsdale store, Video Universe, I am seeking out movies clearly in one of two categories: those to watch in Sharon's company, and those which she doesn't care to see. In the past three days, I have seen two of the former.

Movie 1: Shepherd of the Hills (1941: Dir. Henry Hathaway) This is part of my attempt to cover a chronological history of John Wayne's 4-star movies. I had to skip The Dark Command, which I wanted to see, but which is not available at either of my two sources (currently not existing on DVD at all-only VHS and Laser Disc). It was a bit of a departure from the traditional Wayne western, with him playing a somewhat normal young man from a freaky mountain family with a blood-veneange on a long-lost, estranged father (played by Harry Carey-the original one). I thought it was OK, but not great. I may make my Wayne project a long, long, long one (as in, taking breaks between movies). I get the sense I could get burned out pretty quick. But I will say I think, all "legend" status aside, I think he's a bit of a critically underrated actor.
Movie 2: Soylent Green (1973: Dir. Richard Fleischer) Starring Charlton Heston, this movie has become a parody of itself, with an oft-repeated famous line at the end that I will not utter here, on the unlikely chance that a reader both is not familiar with it and wants to see the film. I will say that I was quite surprised by both the lack of campiness and the overall cinematic quality of the film. It was quite well put together, very compelling, and very effective in drawing me into both the message and theme. If you are one of the "uninitiated" few mentioned above, careful about researching very much about this movie, as the original trailer and just about all information you can get about this movie pretty much give you too much information, probably ultimately spoiling the climax. The brief summary, from imdb, is
It's the year 2022... People are still the same. They'll do anything to get what they need. And they need SOYLENT GREEN.
But that doesn't really do the setting or plot justice whatsoever.
One more thing on this movie: Charleton Heston is what he is. He may be a nut, but he really is not a bad actor; not at all. He had this quality of acting in a manner that isn't all that realistic, but which (I think) is carried by his strength of his personality and style. It seems very arbitrary which actors from history are loved for this quality (Jimmy Stewart, Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant) and which are ridiculed (Wayne, Charleton Heston, William Shatner).

And what better way to watch a film than with a sudsy brew in one hand? I have decided to finally start officially documenting my preferences and trek through the World Beer Tour on www.beeradvocate.com. I choose to do no beers from memory, as I'd like to be writing down my thoughts as I consume a bottle (and, as "appearance" figures into the review, I will be committing at least one bottle from every pack to consumption after being poured into a mug). I recently bought a Leinenkugel sampler pack to start the endeavor; check out my first review, of their Honey Weiss. Check back soon for Leiney's Red, which I'm liking better.