"What Was I Thinking?" (alternately titled "That Was the Dumbest Thing Ever"

I thought I had made a post along these lines in the past, but looking back through the archives, I cannot find any such thing.

I came across a very funny picture, circa 1994, taken from the basement of Johnson Street. The picture was intended to be of 44, but it was framed horribly, with the band at the very bottom of the picture, and the lone basement lighting fixture dominating the upper half. What made the photo so funny was that the light fixture was one of those old 60s/70s models with a non-grounded outlet extension right above the bulb itself. And every piece of electrical equipment (including three amplifiers and an 800-watt PA system) the band owned was routed through a series of low-capacity extension cords and their respective multiple slots until eventually ending up, after a tangled mess, being routed through the single recepticle on that fixture. Wow. I even recall a couple of visits by a Service Plus technician to work on our washer or dryer during which comments were made to the effect of "I don't like that...I don't like that at all..."

What were we thinking? Looking back between the years of 1993-1995, I can definitely extract numerous candidates for a list of stupidist things I've ever done, but I will try to look back over an even greater breadth of time and limit the list to 5:

(as always, in no particular order)
The "What Was I (Were We) Thinking List
1. The Extension Cord Monstrosity (above)
2. Wading tree-to-tree with Mixdorf & Gibbons through 3-4 feet of fast-moving Black Hawk Creek floodwaters for no reason whatsoever.
3. In college, and with Gibbons (a recurring figure in this list), attempting to teach ourselves martial arts by fighting in slow motion.
4. In college, choosing to pursue boom box tape recordings of 'Time Did Yank Us' songs rather than women.
5. With Gibbons, "backpacking" in Suomi Hills with a 30-gallon cooler, two grocery sacks, and an 'Academy Broadway' tent for which there were explicit instructions not to expose to direct sunlight.

Boy-that was fun. Reminiscing about past buffoonery is surely the best of times.

I could definitely see expanding on that list in the future...

How about anyone else-what are some of your favorite "What Was I Thinking" events?

My Strength! It Wanes.

Whether by forces mystical and ancient, or simply due to the stresses and pressures of urban life, I have been exhausted lately. I have a history of being able to operate on <6 hours of sleep for pretty much the entire work week-and since Lucy has come on the scene, without much of an opportunity to even catch up on weekends. It runs in my family. My dad could do it. My brothers do it. I do it. That is, until the visit of The Statesman & The Validectorian.

Suddenly, I'm zapped.

For the entire visit of Sharon's friend, Jen, and on through to last night, I have fallen asleep alongside Lucy on my nights to put her down. And on my off-nights, I can't seem to stay up past 10:00 or 10:30. Last night, when I happened to wake up in the middle of the night, I forced myself to head downstairs to read for an hour before going back to bed, just to give myself some sense that I can have some time to myself during which I am actualy awake. Man, I feel like I'm turning into Sharon.

Danny's Choice

Anyone who knows poor Kuña-i's history knows that we are in for thousands of dollars over years of slipped disks, gastrointestinal oddities, kidney failure, glaucoma, & other ailments far too numerous to recall at this time. From the sweetest, most vibrant dog in the world; we have seen her descent to be a stumbling, blind, confused creature (if still sweet) of today that I am embarassed to say provides more annoyance than companionship.

Over the past few months, she has lost nearly 20 pounds and has a growing mass in her abdomen that we've recently begun having checked out. As is the norm with our dog diagosi, the $450 blood test & ultrasound combo was not entirely conclusive, but what we know are this: it is either cancerous or intestinal adhesions, and if something isn't done (surgery wise), she will starve to death. Of course, in classic Kuña-i tradition, we have no way of knowing if the surgery will be a success (again, they don't even know what it is). And Kuña-i is no spring chicken-nearly 12 years old, we figure.

Danny's choice.

Sharon & I have planned a discussion tonight, but in a sudden bout of conviction that surprised myself, I think I am on the road to deciding. We do the surgery. There's no way to perform a proper "cost-benefit analysis." It's a shot in the dark; a philosophical one and, for me, a moral one. What it comes down to for me is this: I do a lot of talk about integrity and sticking to my guns and honor. Talk is cheap, but what do you do for the ones you care about when the chips are down? As for me, I will refuse to put a dollar value on my loved ones, four-legged or otherwise, and I will march, true to my principles, down the road that ends in the parking lot of the Poor House.

I do want to still have a conversation with our vet and sort of talk about Kuña-i's overall health outlook, but I think my path is set. This is not to say my dog's quality of life could not, due to other circumstances, deteriorate to the point where we have to make a merciful and difficult decision to put her down-someday even maybe even the near future. But it will be a decision based on her best interests, not financial sense.

DanTag

1. It's Dan's theory that one only has time to devote to 10 outside-of-work pursuits. What makes your list? This can be an idealized version of your life (e.g. pursuits in which you are interested but just haven't found the time or ambition to start).
2. What are the last five albums you bought? Are you just kind of buying albums on a whim these days or following any kind of overarching plan-such as exploring a genre or working your way through a backlog of albums you've wanted to buy for some time?
3. Everyone has an issue (at least one)-political or philosophical-that is kind of their personal baby. One on which they feel they have an enlightened view in a greater world that just either doesn't get it or doesn't care. Tell us about it-and attempt to be brief.
4. Prairie, mountains, woods, desert, lake, the sea. Which calls to you the most? Where would you most choose to reside? RANK THEM!
5. Guilty pleasure TV. Is there a show that would be condemned by your peers, but yet you find yourself watching it on a regular basis? Let's hear it.

No limit or minimum of people to tag. Send this to whomever you choose.
I will send this to the only two bloggers with whom I have any regular contact:
Aaron (in this case, just trying to get the fucker posting again in our lifetime)
Pat

My answers:
1. Top ten pursuits (in no particular order):
1. Family time (if I can group daddy-daughter, husband-wife, and whole family all together)
2. Friend time.
3. Movie/DVD/video watching.
4. Music making (including recording & performing)
5. Acting
6. Camping/backpacking
7. Running & general fitness
8. Reading (both for pleasure & to learn)
9. Travel
10. Various computer things-blogging/surfing/etc. Probably the least productive of the list
but reality.
2. Last five albums (most recent first) & "album plan":
1. Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, & Thyme-S&G
2. Led Zepplin II-Led Zepplin
3. The Tide-Lucy Kaplanski
4. 12 Golden Country Greats-Ween
5. The Ox that Pulls the Cart-LJ Booth
I'm in a mixture of exploring some insurgent country & some "acoustic-y" artists who've caught my ear during MPR's morning show, while attempting to make headway on a 10-15 year-old backlog of classic artists, which include S&G, Led Zepplin (see above), Donovan, The Who, & Jimi Hendrix. I'm back on my "album every (two-week) paycheck" schedule.
3. My personal political/philosophical baby. I have so many, I have to touch on two, but I'll try to be brief. #1 Political: People who vote against their best interest (e.g. Republican). Really, really mind-blowing when it comes to putting the interests of corporations above the welfare of human beings. #2 Religious: People, whom I've come to refer to as "philosophical hacks," who interpret their religion in such a way as to make life way more complicated and way less fun for everybody. Boy, that's a diplomatic way to put that.
4. I love 'em all. But here's the ranking:
1. Mountains. (majestic and powerful, stirring the heart of any adventurer-how can you beat
that?)
2. Prairie. (near & dear to my heart, rare, and with a sky that doesn't end)
3. Woods. (varied, mysterious, & teeming with life)
4. Lake. (refreshing, inviting, and no neighbors across the way)
5. Desert. (beautiful, serene, & sublime)
6. The sea (timeless & grand, but a lot closer to others' hearts than my own-I suspect)
5. Guilty pleasure TV:
Actually, I would consider myself pretty prone to this type of behavior, but we really watch so little TV these days that I don't currently have a show that would fit into this category. Years ago (early 90's?), when "Saved by the Bell" was in its first go-round, I often found myself, inexplicably, sitting and watching it. I think it was a combination of my work schedule (getting home right about that time), being exhausted after a day in the warehouse, mixed with a little morbid-"I can't believe how bad this is" curiousity that eventually morphed into some level of genuine interest in the superficial, unbelievable characters, and their insipid goings-on. Again, inexplicable-but I think having a combination of factors like that, leading to similar shameful viewings, is hardly unique in our society.

A Special 'Thank You' to The Statesman and The Validectorian

Much like Gibbons' visit of a couple of weeks ago, this last few days was both relatively predictable and thoroughly enjoyable. As is often discovered in these get-togethers, not a whole helluva lot changes. We are more aided by technology, and some minor dynamics change (a kind of volatile stage Lucy is working through was taking its toll on momma and I felt a little less free than I expected I might), but the cast of characters remain the same.

To recap...
Things that change:
- Life circumstances of those involved (marriages, children, jobs, places we live, income)
- More history from which to draw obcure references
- We eat better
- We drink higher quality beer
- Technology (e.g. watching episodes on the computer, ordering pizza online, engaging those not there via 'conference call')
Things that remain timeless:
- Buffoonery
- Silliness
- Basketball
- Non-Stop Excitement
Highlights of the long weekend:
- A stellar day of 96 degree frisbee golf, followed by a swim in Silver Lake, followed by football by the lake, followed by another dip in the lake
- Long-awaited TT commentary, which may be actually funnier than we thought it was at the time.
- A way-cool bike ride touring the area from Wirth Parkway to St. Anthony Main.
- High-quality beer.
- Experiencing a wonderful variety of tasteful while still managing to return to pizza for every other meal.
- Having Lucy meet and dig my friends.
Many many other enjoyable things occurred, as they will in nonstop excitement, and I am sure they will be recounted at a later date.

As Only I Can Do It (alternately titled "What Was I Thinking?")

There I was, at the beginning of the week, thinking that I'd make sure to go to bed at a reasonable hour during the week, to make sure I have a bit of "sleep capital" accrued before the visit of two friends. Also, I'd make sure to do a pretty deep straightening of the house, & organization of finances prior to the weekend.

Somehow, I found myself with very little of the house cleaning done, sitting on the couch last night at 1:56 am, watching a PBS documentary on the life of Bob Newhart.

Christ.

Hanging on a Weather Vane with My Hand Cut Off

Good God, but when it rains in the world of my finances, it pours. It's an uncanny cycle: I work so hard for so long to gain some vague sense of financial stability, with some concept of a long-term plan to pay off my debts once and for all, when all of a sudden, I am hit from all sides with a string of sudden expenses that make me feel not unlike Luke Skywalker when Darth Vader is flinging all those toasters and iron rods into him in their first confrontation.

Kuña-i is back at her mysterious malady best. She'd inexplicably lost 10 or so pounds in the last couple of months-and we're about $500 into a series of tests and scans that are on the way to revealing something that may end up being a tumor (hard to say where expenses will go from this point). Now, just yesterday, I found out that the motherboard from my computer fried itself (a description from the Geek Squad folks that sounded more like something from "Back to the Future" than a real-life issue-something about capacitors leaking). So, had to invest in a new $500 CPU yesterday. There's been some other, sub-$100, things in the past week that have piled on and made it all worse.

Of course, my computer's been out of commission for about a week, so I've been unable to check Quicken-all these extra expenses have been getting shoveled onto a credit card, so as not to incur an overdraft charge from my bank. Making a lump payment from my bank account to cover a series of credit card expenses "when things get stabilized" is always a lot more difficult in practice than in theory, and I fear that my hopes of being all paid off once and for all my next year's tax return are in some jeopardy.

Oh well, I was planning on a bit of "spare no expense" in the upcoming non-stop excitement get together, and I don't plan to alter that approach. In the end, it is just money-easy come easy go. But God DAMN it, I'm in the midst of some fuckin' "easy go."

The Fever Breaks

Good God, it's been hot. We just finished a string of nine 90 degree+ days in a row, culminating in a 97 degree scorcher yesterday. It's rough for those of us without central air, and a below-average ability to find comfort in temperature extremes.

I had ambitious plans of getting some recording done, as well as some deep cleaning (or, failing that, simply some deep straightening & organizing) prior to the Mixdorf/Levendusky visit. Unfortunately, when the temperature raises to a certain level, all you (or me, as the case may be) are really are motivated to do is just sit around and sweat. I really think that is probably the primary reason behind the slower pace of traditional southern towns, as well as a good probable explaination of how the "fiesta" came to be.

I come from a long line of prodigous sweaters. Sharon can not/will not ever truly understand, as we begin our annual "should the window unit air conditioner be on and, if so, how high should it be set" battles. She asks how I can be so cold in the winter (turn the heat up!) and so hot in the summer. I simply tell her that her body temperature is regulated by her womb, but she doesn't seem to accept that explanation.

We did manage to get out of the house a lot this weekend, though in each case into scorching hot outdoor activities. Among those activities, we made it out to the Minneapolis Log Boom event at the Mississippi River near our house on both days. It was the World Championships for Logrolling and potentially a really cool set of events, but it was spread out along a long stretch of unshaded riverfront land, with nary a cloud in the sky. Nasty, NASTY hot.

Sunday morning I also ran in the "Otter Trotter," a 5-kilometer race along that same stetch of unshaded land. It was at 8:30 am, but it must have already been in the mid-80s by that time. The hottest race I'd ever run, I'd guess. My time was NOT that hot. Unless I do a drastic change in training (and, perhaps diet), my best 5k times may be way behind me. Although I run distances twice what I ever would have dreamed doing back in college, my times in a short race like this are about a minute-a-mile slower. Just a totally different type of training-combined with the fact that I'm carrying about 15-17 extra pounds. Both make a big difference. 1996 Dan would have finished about third or fourth in the event out of 106 runners. 2005 Dan finished 27th.

PrairyErth: The Recommendation

So, I'd been intending to finish the book I'm reading, PrairyErth, before officially recommending it to my closest friends, but I can wait no longer. Truth is, I'm still a little under half-through; it is a slooow read-one I'm tackling almost exlusively on my bus-ride in & back (an event in which I have probably been averaging less than three times a week for the past month). But if slow, to say it is engaging and delicious is to undersell it. I say this now: this is clearly the best work of non-fiction I have ever read, and it's not even close.

I've never read a book quite like it-it is some sort of combination of historical study, geographical study, ethnography, and philosophical exploration. William Least-Heat Moon, the author essentially spends three years exploring every inch of Chase County, Kansas-the county to the south of Council Grove's Morris County. Though many images and characters in the book evoke certain personal feelings, I swear-my personal connection to that part of the country does not play into my opinion of the quality of this book. I dearly wish there were more books of this sort, exploring other counties in the country. But in Chase County (total population probably under 3,000), a place that many people would assume is relative void of anything of interest, Least-Heat Moon explores all these different aspects of place and makes fantastic, mind-blowing connections, telling very human and compelling stories, with a writing that is of as fine a quality as I have ever seen.

I wish for there to be more WLHM's in the world, and I guarantee one of the most enlightening, philisophically and intellectually stimulating reads in which you will ever embark. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. I don't want to ever finish this book, and probably won't until mid-September, but I beg and plead for you to begin it. (with your psycho reading style, Mixdorf, you might just finish it in consecutive weekends).

Trying to give much more detail about the book would fall short: please read the editorial reviews from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/product-description/039592569X/ref=dp_nav_1/002-8421614-8365666?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=507846&s=books

Afternoon of N.S.E

Gibbsy Knickerbock is in town for a couple of days and will swing by to pick me up from work at 1:00.

We plan an afternoon of basketball or some other sweaty endeavor (it's been in the 90s and humid for about a week), and then the tossing back of a few & some kind of supper.

Good times are almost ensured.

News

Actually, about the news. Just some ruminations a few days following a trip down to Iowa this last weekend. I am always brought up to & beyond speed with respect to the current state of broadcasting after spending a day or two at my parents. The TV, which is perpetually on, is usually tuned to cable news (a type of network which came about more or less, mercifully, after my upbringing in a "cable house") during the majority of the daytime hours, and those vapid, sugar-coated suburbs to the cities of programming: the morning shows (e.g. Good Morning America, the Today Show). Haven't sat and actually watched more than a minute of them for years, but I trust that if there is still a particle of cheese to be extracted from any headline happening worldwide, Katie Couric is still there to interview someone willing to dole it out, the morning after.

Again, the whole phenomenon of the cable news network has pretty much grown to the point it has generally outside the scope of my day to day experience. I am only aware of it through its influence on other areas of our society, including talking points for political discussion. And the growth of the format has seemed to parallel a couple of disturbing trends in journalism. The less disturbing of the two is sensationalism. It is only less disturbing in that the root of the problem is so obvious-quest for ratings and appeal to the least common denominator. It has, nevertheless, convinced me that the amount of cable news (or really, any news) an individual watches is in direct proportion to the amount of skew that person in judging the relative importance of issues in the world. To "Joe Woodbury," where does "shark attacks" fall within the list of the top 10 issues facing society today?

The other, far more insidious, trend is that of either lazy journalism or (worse) advocacy journalism presented as a traditional news broadcast. Indeed, we seem to be moving in a direction where many "journalists" themselves knowingly or otherwise perpetuate a stream of bias and propaganda into their broadcasts. Disappearing fast, it sadly seems, is the purity and sanctity of The 4th Estate.

RoJ Comments Part Deux

1. Luke: What do you remember of your mother?
Leia: Not much, she died when I was very young (YEAH, LIKE 30 SECONDS AFTER
I WAS BORN)
2. So, they got rid of the "jub jub" song from the Ewoks, which was never particularly popular. But did they have to replace it with a something that sounds like some long-haired dude using an acoustic guitar & a series of synthesizer pedals to have a New Age performance in a mall?
3. The Ewoks: not as annoying as I remember.
4. Darth Vader: Remove my mask.
Luke: But you'll die. (WHAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?)
5. Luke built himself a lightsaber? What the fuck? Perhaps "Jedi training" includes a number of technical courses.
6. Strange, the Ewoks were going to EAT the landing party until they were awed byThreepio floating. In the midst of all the revelry at the end, let's not forget that the rebels are celebrating with a bunch of beastly little cannibalistic savages.
7. Actual conversation last night:
Sharon: It would be weird to grow up never really knowing who your father is or that you had
a sister.
Dan: Particuarly so, if your father was Darth Vader.
8. I love the co-pilot alongside Lando-the alien with the groovy orange 70's shirt and vest and the funky laugh.
9. Funny...FUNNY during the Vader-Luke confrontation. The whole scene alternates multiple times between Luke saying, "I won't fight you, father," then fighting him for about 30 seconds. Again and again, "I won't fight you father," then "hack, hack hack, slice." I have a theory that he actually defeats Vader because he blows his mind. His brain, which is perhaps more machine than man at this point, starts just steaming-I'm surprised we don't see white smoke coming out of the side of his helmet as he continues to get these confusing and conflicting messages from his son.
10. How can Vader, who surely has heard once or twice that "there are always two Sith, never more never less" not put two and two together and conceive of the idea that the Emperor is wanting to replace him with Luke? Especially when the confrontation is so similar to the Anakin-Dooku battle he himself was involved in years prior.
11. Likewise-moments ago, the Emperor asked Luke to put an end to the defeated Vader. Considering the Sith are evil and known to usurp one another from time to time, is it really wise for him to take his eyes off Vader as he attacks Vader's son?
12. It would be funny if, after the death of the Emperor, Vader & Luke became the two Sith.
13. I see they replaced the ghost image of the older, bald guy who was supposed to be Anakin with Hayden Christensen in the final scene. I wonder if the bald guy got pissed. Anyway, when did they do that? These movies were re-released long before Revenge of the Sith came out-that was quite a sneak preview into Anakin in his prime.
14. And finally, with respect to the ghost images; why does Anakin get to appear as his 27-year old self, but Obi-Wan has to come back at Alec Guinness' age? Hardly seems fair. Would have been interesting, too, to see Yoda in his prime. Perhaps he once was, like, 5'8" but just shrunk and shrunk over his last 800 years or so.

RoJ

So, in our viewing of the full 6 episodes in chronological order, we are currently up to Return of the Jedi-and at a point about halfway through. So far, I would have to say that it is the worst of all six in terms of everything from plot & development to amount of cheese. That said, I realize that we have yet to see what I consider to be a wonderful piece of cinematic work, which is the rag-tag fugitive fleet's attack on the 2nd Death Star (the whole-"it's a trap" sequence).

A few ruminations from what we saw last night:
1. Sharon noticed a few places where it seemed like there was CG animation on some of the added scenes for the latest release. I thought that all the added scenes were originally made and just offered now as sort of a "director's cut." One that comes to mind now is that extended (and very lame) musical performance in Jabba's palace by that pot-bellied thing with the lips on the end of its snout. It just screamed "Pixar."
2. What purpose did it possibly serve for Leia to bring Chewbacca in as a fake prisoner? If the whole point was about gaining admittance to the facility, why doesn't she just do what Lando did. Somehow, inexplicably, he got in and is just lurking around in the background for the first few scenes. Following that exchange, she then had two rescues to perform, rather than one. That requires a lot of explanation, unless we are to assume it was the most boneheaded plan in the history of the Republic.
3. Not paving any new ground here, but what an incredibly underwhelming end to Boba Fett. No veneange for that supposedly monumental scene where, as a child, he sees his father killed by a Jedi. No successful use of all his gadgets. Just "whump" and down in the pit (unless we are to believe that he activated his rocket from the pit and escaped when we weren't looking).
4. Many things that seem to require some sort of explanation in Luke's visit to the palace. First, why did he not devise a plan with Leia ahead of time? Second, why did he send R2-D2 into the palace with his lightsaber and enter it himself, later, unarmed? Everything we see from the Jedis in episodes I-III give you every reason to believe he could have gone in there with his lightsaber, defeated everyone within the place with one hand tied behind his back, and walked out with Han. This should be no problem at all for the Son of the Chosen One!
5. When C-3PO says, "Master, you're standing on..." wouldn't a person of reasonable intelligence assume the intent of the phrase was to warn him. Perhaps even to warn him that he was standing on something away from which he should move? Not so easy a piece logic, it appears, for the Son of the Chosen One.
6. Why not use a mind-trick on the Rancor?
7. For that matter, why not use a mind trick (or Jedi reflexes and some hand-to-hand combat-or some telekinisis, for God's sake!) on any one of the guards coming to get him out of the Rancor pit. Or on any of the guards that are with him out on the execution skiff.
8. Not to be undone in the stupidity department, they leave Luke's arms free during the attempted execution, so that he can conveniently do his diving-board trick. They leave his arms free! A Jedi knight! Sheesh!
9. Again, probably not paving any new ground here, but Good Lord, Luke doesn't look nearly as coordinated, limber, or artistic as all the other Jedis we see in his use of the elegant light saber. He's just hacking around like a blindfolded 5-year old going after a Star Wars pinata. They're not clean kills at all. Everyone he slices is still alive enough to scream as they fall off the skiff.
10. What the hell happened to the whole Jedi ethic thing? His friends are safely aboard the skiff. Jabba is dead. Escape is theirs, but as a final "fuck you," he finds it necessary to instruct Leia to fire a cannon onto Jabba's yaht, causing it to explode and destroy any who might have happened to survive the earlier hoopla.

Ah, The Cramps, My Old Friend. We Meet Again.

Well, I planned to run like a combination of 50% Roger Bannister and 50% Louis Pasteur, but I finished it like 100% Juggernaut.

I elected not to make a bannana holster (not like it sounds or otherwise), and moments before beginning the race I ditched both my water belt and shirt. I decided to run like I used to in the good old days, stripped down & free. I think it was the right choice and, regardless of how this post may look a little farther down, I'm really happy with how I ran. I sort of had some minor goals of beating my 2003 time, beating three hours, and finishing running strong; none of which I achieved, but I think my underlying hope was just that my "in-shapeness" was in the same universe as it was in my previous 25Ks and that I could finish the race and not embarass myself. Both of those goals were achieved, and I feel that my insane <4 week training theory was more or less validated.

Of all my theories, the ones I did employ were walking up the big hills and eating a section of bannana at each of the aid stations-both of which were aimed primarily as a means by which to stave off my old friend, The Cramps. It's something I'd really like to talk to a doctor about someday-is it possible I'm just a really easy cramper? I have had runs in which I feel like I have an awful lot of leg strength left (namely, the marathon, and my three 25Ks), but I end up cramping. It is immensely frustrating. Perhaps in this case I could attribute it to not having a long enough conditioning program-and maybe I am a bit chronically dehydrated, but I'd like to find out for sure. Cause it took my theory from being New England Journal of Medicine-worthy to merely being "maybe on to something." I was actually quite pleased at how relatively comfortable the run was through the first couple of hours. The miles just rolled away-and (perhaps as a result of beginning the race with the "walk-the-insane-hills theory") I have to say it was much, much easier than the first time I ran the race, two years ago. It was somewhere between miles 11 and 12, having just summited a particularly long & steep climb, when I felt the first little *ping* in my calf. Oof-that wasn't going to begin now, was it? I adjusted my stride a little, to have my feet come more straight down, and to not push off so hard at the top of little minor hills, and actually managed to not feel anything of that sort again until well over mile 13. It was at that point when I was struck again-big cramps this time, one in each calf on two successive steps (quite a co-incidence, in retrospect)-*PING!, PING* Argh! It actually made me stumble and almost fall. From that point on, I was back in a familiar savage ballet, constantly adjusting my stride and speed much like Data adjusting resonant shield frequency in order to ward off a series of random frequency phaser blasts. I found that I had no problem running downhill so, with the amazing amount of energy I actually still had, I would just fly down the hills, trying to make up for lost time I was currently losing during the uphill walks and would be eventually losing on straightaway walks. The cramps got more frequent and more serious-often striking me when I had a little stumble and was forced to land in a way I had not intended (a frequent occurrence, as you're running through thigh-high grass during a pretty big stretch near the end, plus with all the roots & rocks & such). I (predictably) eventually lost the ability to run along even flat surfaces without seizing up, and when I eventually crossed the finish line, I fear I was the very pitiful sight I had hoped I would not be.

Again, though, it was all about the cramps. I've had many, many much shorter runs where I just wanted to collapse at the end. Here, I picked up my medal, walked on over to my car, and drove on home. I was even able to mow the lawn later in the day.

My time? 3:01 and something. I did have a great time during most of the run, and I do love trail running, and I'll do it again.

LIke a Cross Between Louis Pasteur and Roger Bannister

So will I approach my race tomorrow with equal parts science and training.

I'll put the condensed, intense training schedule to the test, of course-but I'm also going to be really working hard to incorporate some planning & science into my performance:
- The concept of "negative splits" (in a nutshell, starting out more slowly than my body tells me I should with the idea I will more than make up for it with more energy later on).
- Actual prescribed (not specifically for me, but for millions in an issue of "Runner's World") pre-race-day and race-day menus.
- Walking the biggest, steepest climbs to ward off cramps.
- Taking smaller steps when climbing hills (which I've always done), but also in going down hills, which I've recently read zaps your energy more than you realize. Sounds kind of obvious, but when you're out there running, you really want to fly down those hills.
- Better pre-race hydrating.
- Actually creating a "bannana holster" out of duct tape and affixing it to my water bottle belt. I will keep a fresh bannana there and, God willing, it will still be in condition to eat at around mile 10.

In the end-it will be a lot about guts and the work I've put into up to this point, but I'm interested to see if any of these other "edges" translate to any discernable benefit out on the trail. I'm excited, a little nervous, and also hoping that following the race, I'm in condition to care for my daughter for the remainder of the weekend (Sharon's working all three days).

Mark My Words...

But you know that story that's come out about this new Iranian President potentially being a former captor during the Iran hostage crisis?

There's something real fishy about the emergence of it.

Pretty funny timing, pretty darn coincidental, and a pretty good darn way to get the US populace, with flagging support for anti-Arab military action, all whipped up again.

There is more to this story than meets the eye.

Back on the Wagon

Upon further consideration of the rapid improvement of my per-mile time (decreasing by 30 seconds per mile on a seven-mile run over each of the first three weeks of the training), coupled with consideration of how much hard work I've put in during this intense (albeit brief) training stint, I have decided to give it a shot. The race, that is.

It was last Thursday, right before my most recent sevent-miler, when I discovered that Sharon & Lucy would not be able to attend the race. I think that took a lot of wind out of my sails-I really like it when they can be there. I understand the whole concept of running for yourself, but that's what training is all about. Besides, I had my fill of that angle when I did the marathon while Sharon was in South America. These days, it's really nice to have support during the run.

Nevertheless, I'll lace 'em up next Saturday. I got a taste of things to come this last weekend, as I tried to put myself through as grueling a preparation day as possible, while not destroying myself a week before the actual event. On a humid day with temperatures between 90 and 95 I took to the trails at French Regional Park, and ran for just over two hours. Running on any trails as preparation for trail running is better than nothing; you are constantly going up and down hills (often without even being aware of it), you are conditioning your arches, and you're working thigh muscles by high-stepping it over grasses. It is no Afton, but French does have some hills-in particular one actually named "Challenge Hill." It is a monster, and by the time my run was done I had taken it four times; the last time very slowly with my body soaked in sweat, my tongue lolling out, and my arms hanging nearly useless at my side like those of a T-Rex.

The totally running time was nearly an hour less than it will be Saturday, but I ran the entire course (where on Saturday I will walk the biggest hills), and the temps were insane (where on Saturday I will be running at 7:00 am). Knock on wood-perhaps the experiment will prove to be a success, after all...

Experiment Complete and Insane Heat

Well-my experiment was to see if I could squeeze 12 weeks of training into slightly less than four weeks and the results are in: I can't. My 7-mile run times went from 1:11 to 1:08 to 1:04 in consecutive weeks, which is nothing to sneeze at, but which is also slightly worse than the per-mile time I ran in my last (13.1 mile) half marathon. That was two years ago, a week before my last Afton Trail Run, during which I had major cramp problems. It just doesn't seem like I'm on track to being able to do this race the way it needs to be done. Not totally closing the door yet-if I knocked another 3-4 minutes off that 7-mile pace in the next week...who knows...

Yesterday I took the day off and worked hard pretty much the whole day. It was 95 degrees, and I took on two of the hottest possible jobs I possibly could have. The first was lining the insulated interior walls of my attic with plastic sheeting. Later, I started a fire and burned all the extra woody plants, sticks, and old removed brush remnants that can't be composted. It burned huge & hot. It was so hot, in fact, that this morning when I removed the lid, there were still orange embers (about 16 hours after the snuffer had gone on).

Normally, we use sticks & stuff that fall from our trees as kindling in our patio fireplace, but we really had an excess of material here. Our two options were either to bundle it and have it out for trash day or to burn it. Here's a good question for the assembled: which is the more environmentally responsible alternative, burning sticks or having them go to a landfill?

A Switcheroo in the Works?

I have been leaning Zephyr and Sharon has been leaning Minneapolis (actually, to be more accurate, she's been leaning only towards not rushing into anything).

With all the energy focused on cracking to code on this issue, one of the primary ways for me to process my observations & experiences these days has been to view them in light of "things I love/things I hate" about my neighborhood & my city. With the exception of the amazing trails and the coffee shop (and, to some extent, the diversity) things to hate about my neighborhood have been piling on like a defensive front line on 39-year old Dan Marino. But things to love about the city, and my city in particular, continue to accrue like pictures of Orlando Bloom in teen magazines. Perhaps the only thing I know for sure is that I'm done, done, done with my neighborhood. From unidentified teens cutting through our yard in the middle of the night and leaving our gates open to roaring/booming/speeding cars, to the neverending chain of loud, annoying ice cream trucks that parade through our neighborhood to prey upon families that neither understand nor care about nutrional basics, I feel I've had it.

But, in continuing my background work surrounding the whole relocation issue, I've started to identify a couple (and believe me, there's only a couple) of neighborhoods in the city that might be somewhere we could be happy, that still have a few properties within our price range. You see, in our search for a place to live among peers, this sad reality has become evident: Our peers all have far more money than us. It's one of those great mysteries of life: How the "liberal elite" got so damned wealthy. They should all be working as teachers, social workers, and coordinators at nonprofit organizations. Instead, they must be Head of Acquisitions for the Walker Museum or on the Board of Directors for the Minnesota Zoo. The one eqaulizer of sorts is that we will have around $90,000 of equity to put into any purchase-but we're still on the outside looking in with respect to those "No War in Iraq" sorts of neighborhoods with coops, coffeeshops, active neighborhood organizations, and surrounded by green space. A lot to ask for-but we're still looking for our next move to be our last. One place I'm sort of looking right now: Bryn Mawr. Just west of Downtown, at the northern end of the chain of lakes (though across 394), nearly surrounded by greenspace with Bryn Mawr Meadows, Basset Creek, the Cedar Lake Trail, and Theodore Wirth Park, as well as a really progressive, sort of artistic demographic makeup. http://www.bmna.org

Pilseners & Such

As every one (with emphasis on the "one") of my readers may be aware, I am a Pilsener guy. I'll drink anything, and enjoy most of it, but at the end of the day, I'll take a good ol' golden that goes down smooth. Much of the low-quality macro-brew variety fit into this category, and I actually find them more enjoyable than one would expect, but I am just starting to try and delve into some more upscale brews of this variety.

An interesting website: www.beeradvocate.com. The creators are two guys from Massachussets who've reviewed an enormous amount of beers. The membership of the forum are generally superserious drinkers, and quite harsh critics of beers from the most common to the most rare. It is rare for any beer to end with a consensus of > four on a five-point scale for ratings (and the site even gives you standard deviations from the norm as part of the rating rollup). I had registered, once upon a time (I thought), and logged a few reviews, but my registry seems to have disappeared. I registered again and have thought that it might be a good way for me to preserve my "research" for some posterity, and for some painless method of being able to look back and reference what I thought about different beers, if I forget down the line.

For Father's Day, Sharon bought me Pilsener Urquell, which touts itself as the "world's first pilsener," invented in Czechoslovakia (sp?). According to some reviews of the beer (which were solid but not outstanding), it is "the best non-Belgian pils," which would seem to direct me towards NW Europe for my future direction of exploration in this realm. For my part, I like the Urquell, though I do not have an experienced-enough pallette to break the beer down into a review like "Lively nose, pretty, floral, lightly spicy dandy, with a dash of honey. Neat hops on the tongue, with a long, welcome stay on the palate. Light bodied, dry, hoppy finish. Satisfying sweet hop taste that ends in a soft and silky dry bitter aftertaste." Not sure if those reviews are something I will be capable of someday, or if they're total bullshit.

Anyway, BeerAdvocate is an interesting site-one to which I would recommend a membership. Perhaps we can compare notes down the line. Favorite beers (both style and specific beer), anyone?